Oprah ve obama partner

What A Day: A Midsummer Night's Scheme by Sarah Lazarus, Brian Beutler & Crooked Media (08/07/20)

2020.08.08 14:11 kittehgoesmeow What A Day: A Midsummer Night's Scheme by Sarah Lazarus, Brian Beutler & Crooked Media (08/07/20)

"'Thighland,' not 'Tai-land,' is how English speakers around the world say it." - Dinesh D'Souza, with a gorgeous defense of the mental acuity candidate

The Thwart Of The Deal

Having abjectly failed to contain coronavirus in the United States, or to grasp the extent of economic suffering he’s inflicted on the American people, President Trump now seeks to do what anyone in such a predicament would do: break the law in a panic to swindle voters into thinking he fixed the problem.
So we live in a fledgling dictatorship now, but at least the economy is on the road to recovery, right? Haha, alas that is not correct.
The GOP has clearly abandoned the idea of winning the election by competently containing the coronavirus epidemic, and has thus fallen back on various corrupt and illegal schemes that they hope will allow Trump to pull off a surprise victory. Abandoning stimulus negotiations and disbursing money illegally may be the latest in those schemes, and it’s on us to make sure they fail.

Look No Further Than The Crooked Media

On this week's Unholier Than Thou: Transgender people are currently fighting for their lives against an administration and a religious right that seems hellbent on denying their existence and equality. For many leaders of the movement, this is irony at its finest, because transgender people were once considered sacred in many pre-colonized societies.
This week, Phil talks to advocate and model Geena Rocero about the gender non-conforming spiritual history of the Philippines to illustrate how trans people were once accepted and revered. Then, we catch up with the activist Raquel Willis about how she harnesses ancestral power in the Movement for Black Trans Lives. Listen and subscribe wherever you get your podcasts

Under The Radar

A former top Saudi intelligence official alleged that crown prince Mohammed bin Salman sent a hit squad to kill him. In a federal lawsuit filed on Thursday, Saad ­Aljabri said that MBS and his allies pressured him to return to Saudi Arabia from Canada, then dispatched an assassination team just days after the murder of Jamal Khashoggi. Saudi authorities have allegedly held two of Aljabri’s children hostage since March in a bid to lure him back. The complaint states that Aljabri knew about bin Salman’s corruption, political scheming, and use of mercenaries, and is “a longtime trusted partner of senior U.S. intelligence officials,” all of which made him a target. Aljabri’s claims haven’t been verified, but certainly fall within the realm of plausibility. Anyway, it’s another great day to start investigating what MBS has offered President Trump in exchange for his unquestioning support.

What Else?

A New York judge ruled that E. Jean Carroll, who has accused President Trump of rape, can move forward with her defamation suit against him, citing the Supreme Court decision rejecting Trump’s claims of total immunity. Carroll’s legal team can now seek Trump’s DNA and depositions, although Trump can (and surely will) appeal the decision.
In another big loss for Trump, a federal appeals court ruled that the House has standing to ask the courts to enforce a subpoena for former White House counsel Don McGahn’s testimony. McGahn can continue challenging the subpoena on other grounds, though, and potentially drag this out until after the election.
Trump signed an executive order that will effectively ban TikTok in the U.S. if it hasn’t been bought by an American company within 45 days. The order is likely to face legal challenges. Funnily enough, Trump moved to restrict TikTok on the same day Facebook launched Reels, its TikTok competitor on Instagram.
The last intact ice shelf in the Canadian Arctic has pretty much disintegrated, losing more than 40 percent of its area in the span of two days. Is that...good?
The State Department has started spamming random Russians with texts offering $10 million for information on election interference. “Well, Andrei from Vladivostok never texted back. Looks like we’ve got ourselves a clean election.”
Facebook employees have demanded answers from Mark Zuckerbeg on what the company will do if Trump tries to use the platform to undermine the election results. Zuckerberg has offered no clear response, but the company has fired an engineer who internally pointed out that right-wing pages were receiving special treatment that let them keep posting misinformation.
Gather ‘round for DNC speaker leaks. Bernie Sanders and John Kasich will reportedly speak on the same night, both Clintons have a slot, and Barack and Michelle Obama will make an appearance, if you can believe it. It’s unclear if AOC will get a speaking slot.
Joe Biden issued two responses to disingenuous Trump campaign attacks: A clarification of his comments about diversity in Black and Latino communities, and a statement on his faith that included a reminder that Trump used a church and bible for a photo-op, after Trump ranted that Biden will “hurt God, hurt the Bible.”
Gov. Mike DeWine (R-OH) tested negative for COVID-19 in a second test on Thursday, hours after testing positive ahead of a meeting with Trump, raising questions about the accuracy of the rapid test the White House uses to screen people who meet with the president.
Emirates Airlines is offering passengers a free funeral if they contract COVID-19 on a flight and die. Now will you travel to one of the three countries still letting in Americans, you cheap cowards?

Be Smarter

Florida Democrats have fallen well behind their voter registration goals. After disappointing losses in the 2018 midterms, Democrats pledged to register or “re-engage” one million voters by 2020. Those initiatives haven’t hit the mark, and Florida Republicans are closer to closing the registration gap than they’ve been in decades. As of July 20, Democrats led Republicans in the state by just 240,423 people—about 5,000 fewer than at the same point in 2018. We’re in for another close race in Florida, one that will depend entirely on who can turn out more voters. Ahem: https://votesaveamerica.com/adopt-a-state/

What A Sponsor

"Nice White Parents" is a new podcast from Serial Productions, brought to you by The New York Times, about the 60-year relationship between white parents and the public school down the block.
We know American public schools do not guarantee each child an equal education. Two decades of school reform initiatives have not changed that. But when Chana Joffe-Walt, a reporter, looked at inequality in education, she saw that most reforms focused on who schools were failing: Black and brown kids. But what about who the schools are serving? In this five-part series, she turns her attention to what is arguably the most powerful force in our schools: White parents.
Listen and subscribe to “Nice White Parents” from your mobile device: Via Apple Podcasts Via Spotify Via Google

Is That Hope I Feel?

The Gates Foundation has partnered with the Serum Institute of India to ensure that a coronavirus vaccine is distributed quickly to poorer countries, and priced at no more than $3 a dose.
Oprah Winfrey has commissioned 26 billboards calling for justice for Breonna Taylor to be placed around Louisville, KY.
Marquita Bradshaw, an environmental justice advocate, has become the first Black woman to win a major party’s nomination for the Senate in Tennessee.
This is a moving read on the present-day descendants of suffragists, as they reflect on their ancestors' legacies and how they're continuing the work.

Enjoy

Chase on Twitter: "Why did CNN tweet out the lyrics to a Death Cab for Cutie song"
submitted by kittehgoesmeow to FriendsofthePod [link] [comments]


2020.03.17 13:40 kerry_lusignan The Long Shadow of Couples Therapy in the Age of Trump

The Long Shadow of Couples Therapy in the Age of Trump

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Not long ago, I used to joke that as a feminist family therapist I was obsolete twice over: once for being a family therapist and a systemic thinker— instead of being, say, a CBT practitioner—and then once again for being a feminist. I mean, who cared about feminism anymore? The points had been made, the lessons learned, and to some degree at least, the battles won—or at least on the way to being won. Feminism seemed to be old news. Gender issues in therapy? If anyone spoke about that anymore, it was to reenvision the whole idea—trans-kids, gender-fluid kids, straight men sleeping with other straight men. As for the impact of traditional gender roles on couples, on society—as for conversations about patriarchy and its effects—psychotherapists seemed largely to have lost interest.
Then 2016 happened.
When I gave a workshop called “Working with Challenging Men” at the 2015 Networker Symposium, it drew an audience of about 50 participants. When I was asked this year to give the same workshop, it drew an audience of more than 250. What happened to swell the ranks of those interested? We all know the answer: Donald Trump.
No matter what your political persuasion, it’s hard to deny that we have a man in the White House who behaves in ways that are not only challenging, but atavistic, offensive, and often downright frightening. Trump has called women “fat pigs,” ridiculed their appearance on social media, objectified and mocked them in person, and in his most unvarnished moment, bragged about assaulting them.
He’s regularly displayed behaviors one might’ve thought disqualifying in a public official. Harvard President Lawrence Summers was ousted almost immediately for asserting that women may have less innate math abilities than men—gone, and for a good reason. But “grab ’em by the pussy” from the leader of the free world? Democrats certainly thought it wouldn’t wash, but their efforts to make Trump’s character the issue in the election didn’t work. Each time they were freshly outraged by Trump’s behavior, his poll numbers grew.
So here’s a sobering thought: suppose Trump was elected not despite his offensive, misogynous behaviors but, at least in part, because of them. Whatever other factors determined the outcome of the election, a significantly large number of Americans, both men and women, educated and less educated, appear to have wanted a bully—or, said differently, a strongman—to be their nation’s leader. In a time perceived as dangerous, a time when the government seemed too paralyzed to accomplish much, when conservatives portrayed Obama as weak, ruminative, even feminine, we turned to a self-stylized alpha male.
Trump is a type. He fits the mold of other uber-tough guys of either sex that he openly admires and emulates: Erdogan in Turkey, Orban in Hungary, the Brexit leaders and Theresa May in the UK, and of course, there’s his storied bromance with Putin. Rarely noted is the fact that not just in the US, but sweeping throughout the West, this new so-called populism is gendered. Its appeal doesn’t lie exclusively with men. Factions of men and women these days are feeling a powerful pull toward many of the notions of traditional masculinity—and not just those few that make for good character, like real courage or loyalty. What we’re witnessing is a reassertion of masculinity’s most difficult and harmful traits: aggression, narcissism, sexual assaultiveness, grandiosity, and contempt.
And yet we psychotherapists, as a field, have remained largely silent about this resurgence, hamstrung by an ethical code that prohibits diagnosis or clinical discussion of public figures from afar. In our offices, we assiduously practice neutrality with regard to anything that smacks of the debates going on in the political realm, petrified that we might impose our values on vulnerable clients. But is neutrality in these times really in our clients’ best interests? Consider a recent couples session in my office with Julia, a petite and straight-backed woman, who lost her customary poise as she recounted her troubled week with her husband, Bob.
“I’m shot,” she confesses. “Frayed. Like a horse that shies away from the slightest sound.”
“She’s pretty spooked,” the laconic Bob agrees.
Julia smiles ruefully. “My poor husband tried to make love the other night, and I practically bit his head off.” What was triggering her so acutely? Haltingly, little by little, the trauma story winds its way out of her. First, she recalls the “ick factor,” as she puts it, of feeling her selfish, boundaryless father notice her physical development as an adolescent. Then there was the time he danced with her and had an erection, and finally, the night he drank too much and out and out groped her. “No one stood up for me. No one protected me. And now, ever since the election, I won’t let Bob near me,” Julia cries. “Just here, sitting here with you two men, walking the streets, I feel so unsafe.”
I take a deep breath and say what’s hanging like a lead weight in the air. “Your father’s in the White House,” I tell her. She doubles over, weeping hard. But she also reaches for her husband’s hand.
All over America women like Julia, who have histories of molestation, have been triggered by the ascendency of Trump. Julia is certainly in need of some trauma treatment, obviously; but to my mind, that comes second. The first order of business with her is naming the reality of what she’s facing. There’s a sexually demeaning man in the White House. This is real, not just about her sensitivities. For me to take a neutral stance on the issue, emphasizing Julia’s feelings and deemphasizing the actual circumstance, comes too close to minimization or denial, a replay of the covert nature of her father’s abuse to begin with. It was important, I felt, to speak truth to power; it was important for me as her therapist to name names.
THE HAZARDS OF MASCULINITY Let me be clear. I haven’t been for 40 years, nor will I ever be, neutral on the issue of patriarchy in my work. Traditional gender roles are a bad deal for both sexes. And they’re particularly toxic for men. The evidence couldn’t be clearer. In fact, the World Health Organization (WHO) has issued a statement implicating traditional masculine values as inimical to good health.
Let’s take a stark, bottomline issue: death. Men live 7 to 10 years less than women do, not because of some genetic differences, as most people imagine, but because men act like, well, men. For one, we don’t seek help as often as women do; it’s unmanly. Indeed, as I once wrote about male depression, “A man is as likely to ask for help with depression as he is to ask for directions.” And men are more noncompliant with treatment when we do get it. Also, we take many more risks. That driver without a seatbelt—odds are that’s a man. Men drink more, take drugs more, are more than three times as likely to be imprisoned, and five times as likely to commit suicide.
As Michael Marmot of WHO puts it, men’s poorer survival rates “reflect several factors: greater levels of occupational exposure to physical and chemical hazards, behaviors associated with male norms of risk-taking and adventure, health behavior paradigms related to masculinity, and the fact that men are less likely to visit a doctor when they are ill and, when they see a doctor, are less likely to report on the symptoms of disease or illness.”
Traditional masculine habits not only hurt men’s physical and psychological health, but also produce the least happy marriages. Study after study has shown that egalitarian marriages—which often involve dual careers and always encompass shared housework and decision making—unequivocally lead to higher rates of marital satisfaction for both sexes than do “traditional” marriages, based on hierarchy and a strict division of roles. Yet most therapists, even today, act as if these choices in marriage were simply a matter of personal preference, of legitimate, sometimes clashing values.
Where do we stand on issues like toxic masculinity and paternalistic marriage? For the most part, we don’t stand anywhere. We blink. So let me ask, if we were a group of dentists, knowing that candy is bad for teeth, would we be silent on the issue? Would we consider tooth brushing a personal value, not to be judged, only a matter of preference to be negotiated between family members?
PSYCHOLOGICAL PATRIARCHY
The men and women who come to us for help don’t live in a gender-neutral world. They’re embedded in, and are often emblematic of, a raging debate about patriarchy and a certain vision of masculinity. Trump appeals to a gender-conservative narrative, which holds feminists (“feminazis” as Rush Limbaugh calls us) responsible for deliberately attacking the line between masculine and feminine, and for “feminizing” men.

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In a recent National Review article on Trump and masculinity, for example, Steven Watts laments that “a blizzard of Millennial ‘snowflakes’ has blanketed many campuses with weeping, traumatized students who, in the face of the slightest challenge to their opinions, flee to ‘safe spaces’ to find comfort with stuffed animals, puppies, balloons, and crayons.” And Fox News’s Andrea Tantaros rails, “The left has tried to culturally feminize this country in a way that is disgusting. And for blue-collar voters . . . their last hope is Donald Trump to get their masculinity back.”
The 2016 Presidential Gender Watch Report summarizes several surveys this way: “Trump supporters [are] much more likely than Clinton voters to say that men and women should ‘stick to the roles for which they are naturally suited,’ that society has become too soft and feminine, and that society today seems to ‘punish men just for acting like men.’” But to understand fully the implications of this gender narrative, even the contemptuous nuance of a derogatory term like snowflake, deemed by the Urban Dictionary as “insult of the year,” one needs to look squarely at the nature and dynamic of patriarchy itself.
I use the word patriarchy synonymously with traditional gender roles—misguided stoicism in men, resentful accommodation in women. As I tell my clients, an inwardly shame-based, outwardly driven man, coupled with an outwardly accommodating, inwardly aggrieved woman—why, that’s America’s defining heterosexual couple, successful in the world and a mess at home. Certainly, 50 years of feminism have changed most women’s expectations for themselves and their marriages, and Millennial men, for all their vaunted narcissism, are in many ways the most gender-progressive group of guys who’ve ever existed. But Baby Boomer men are often a mixed bag, and Boomer couples are in deeply conflicted distress. Divorce rates among this group are alarming, and climbing, causing some to write of a “gray divorce revolution.” We can reliably attribute many factors to this trend, but here’s the one that strikes me: many men in their 60’s are cut from the old patriarchal cloth, while many women in their 60’s are now having none of it. Have we therapists tuned in to what’s changed and what hasn’t in our gender attitudes?
Frankly, most of us in the mental health community thought that the old paradigm was on its way out— and indeed it might be. But not without a fight. The old rules, and the old roles, are still kicking, and many of us progressives have just grown complacent. If anyone over-estimated the triumph of feminism, the past election has to be viewed as a stinging rebuke and rejection. To this day, like it or not, we’re fish, and patriarchy is the tainted water we swim in.
But let’s get specific about patriarchy. For most, the word conjures up images of male privilege and dominance, and a resulting anger in women. I call this level political patriarchy, which is, simply put, sexism: the oppression of women at the hands of men. Psychological patriarchy is the structure of relationships organized under patriarchy. It not only plays in relations between men and women, but undergirds dynamics on a much broader level—among women, mothers and children, even cultures and races. The men and women who seek out therapy most often arrive at our doorstep saturated in the dynamic of psychological patriarchy, and I think it yields extraordinary clinical benefit to know about and work with this dynamic.
I see psychological patriarchy as the product of three processes, which you can imagine as three concentric rings.
The great divide. The first of these rings renowned family therapist Olga Silverstein, author of The Courage to Raise Good Men, refers to as “the halving process.” With this process, it’s as if we gathered all the qualities of one whole human being, drew a line down the middle, and declared that all the traits on the right side of the line were masculine and all those on the left were feminine. Everyone knows which traits are supposed to belong on which side. Being logical, strong, and competent is on the right, for example, and being nurturing, emotional, and dependent is on the left.
The dance of contempt. In traditional patriarchy, the two bifurcated halves, masculine and feminine, aren’t held as separate but equal. The “masculine” qualities are exalted, the “feminine” devalued. What does this tell us? That the essential relationship between masculine and feminine is one of contempt. In other words, the masculine holds the feminine as inferior. As feminist psychologist and sociologist Nancy Chodorow pointed out, masculine identity is defined by not being a girl, not being a woman, not being a sissy. Vulnerability is viewed as weakness, a source of embarrassment.
If you think this dance of contempt doesn’t affect you, I suggest you take a look at Trump’s budget. Here’s how Erin Gloria Ryan put it in The Daily Beast: “The President’s budget, like everything he talks about, play[s] into his conception of over-the-top manliness. Cuts to education, the environment, are cuts to feminized concerns, really. After school programs and meals-on-wheels, those are caretaking programs. Education (and really, all childcare), also the purview of women. The arts, not for men like Trump.”
The core collusion. I believe one of the greatest unseen motivators in human psychology is a compulsion in whoever is on the feminine side of the equation to protect the disowned fragility of whoever is on the masculine side. Even while being mistreated, the “feminine” shields the “masculine.” Whether it’s a child in relation to an abusive parent, a wife in relation to a violent husband, a captive who develops a dependency on those who took him or her hostage, or a church that protects sexually abusive ministers, perpetrators are routinely protected. One dares not speak truth to power. Everyday in our offices we bear witness to traditional hetero relationships in which the woman feels a deeper empathic connection to the wounded boy inside the man than the man himself feels. If she could only love that boy enough, she thinks, he’d be healed and all would be well. This is the classic codependent, a prisoner of what psychiatrist Martha Stark calls relentless hope. It’s an intrinsic part of trauma that victims (the “feminine”) tend to have hyper-empathy for the perpetrator (the “masculine”) and hypo-empathy for themselves. I call this empathic reversal, and it’s our job as clinicians to reverse that reversal and set things right, so that the perpetrator is held accountable and the victim is met with compassion, especially self-compassion.
CUT FROM THE OLD CLOTH
Just observing the way 53-year-old Bill sauntered over to my couch, clearly owning the room, I was tempted to label him an Old-School Guy. Lydia, his wife of 20-plus years, who was on the verge of leaving him, had another label for him. “Basically,” she tells me right off the bat, “he’s been a dick.” She bends down to scratch her ankle. “A real dick,” she reiterates. “For years, decades,” she sighs. “And I took it. I loved him. I still do. But, well, things have changed.” They’d come to my office in Boston from their home in Texas for what Bill described as a Hail Mary pass.

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Here’s the story. Bill is a type: driven, handsome, relentless, utterly perfectionistic, and vicious to himself and others when a benchmark isn’t cleared. As their kids were growing up, there wasn’t much Lydia could do right: the house wasn’t picked up, the kids were too rowdy, the food was late or bland or both. Bill was both controlling and demeaning.
Lately, he’d become obsessed with physical performance, and he wanted to share his passion with his wife. Unfortunately, the way he invited her to the gym with him was to tell her how overweight she was. “I’m just attracted to fit women,” Bill says, shrugging.
“Yeah,” Lydia adds bitterly. “He thinks it’ll motivate me when he says, ‘That fat hanging over your belt disgusts me.’”
“I don’t have a very high emotional IQ,” Bill confides to me, his expression bland, untroubled. I’m thinking that I agree with him. Lydia, by the way, had been a competing amateur tennis player, with a figure many women would envy. I turn to Lydia, raising my eyebrows in a question.
“I’m no doormat,” Lydia asserts, stretching each word in her slow Texas drawl. “Sure, I took up at the gym again, but I also started spending more time with my girlfriends—I have a lot of friends—and I started my own business.”
I’m impressed. “Okay,” I say. “You’re no doormat.”
“Right,” she says.
“You didn’t just sit there and take his mistreatment.”
“Right.”
“You, uh,” I continue, “you gathered up your courage and confront- ed your husband on how. . . .”
“Well, no,” she smiles shyly. “I sup- pose I fell short on that one, until now anyway. Now I do.”
“What changed?” I ask, although I’m pretty certain I know the answer from their intake write up.
“Marylyn is what changed, Terry,” she says. And then, after a pause, she adds, “Eighteen months with Marylyn behind my back is what changed.” Bill sits beside her stony. “And there were others. I’m not sure of them all. Call girls when he traveled.” Letting out a sigh, she turns to her husband.
“It’s true,” Bill finally says, shaking his head. “I don’t know what I was thinking.”
“Well,” I say, “what were you feeling?”
“Not much,” Bill tells me. Not satisfied, I press again, but he turns it back on Lydia, saying, “Well, you did pull away. I mean, between redoing the house, your business, your friends.”
“I pulled away because you were impossible!” Lydia wails in a quivering voice. “You kept harping at me about the damn gym!”
“Look,” he responds, more to me than to her, “I like the look of a fit woman. Shoot me. My parents were old in their 50’s, dead in their early 70’s. That’s not for me. I want to compete in triathlons in my 80’s. And I want my wife competing right by my side when I do.”
I’m starting to feel claustrophobic just hearing this. “Well, that’s fine, Bill. That’s what you want,” I tell him. “But have you ever asked Lydia what she wants?”
“I want you to talk to me,” Lydia finally screams, losing composure. She bends over and cries. “Jesus, just sit down and talk to me.”
“Okay, honey, I will,” Bill says to soothe her. But whether he will or won’t, he certainly hasn’t so far. “I’m just not good with emotion,” he tells me.“I just try to find a path and go forward. That’s my usual approach. Like the other night she woke me up in the middle of the night, crying, and I asked her if there’s anything she wanted, but. . . .”
“Just hold me,” she cries, “Just tell me you love me and that you want me!”
He turns on her, an accusing finger close to her face. “But you didn’t ask me for that, did you?” he says, making his point before some imagined jury. “Did you?” Now I can see the dripping condescension Lydia spoke of.
I lean toward him. “What are you so mad about?” I ask him, knowing that anger and lust are the only two emotions men are allowed in the traditional patriarchal setup. But much male rage is helpless rage. Burdened with the responsibility, and the entitlement, to fix anything that’s broken, including his wife, Bill sees Lydia’s unhappiness as an insoluble problem he must master, a rigged Rubik’s Cube with no winning moves. He describes his feelings as many men in his position do: frustration.
“I’m tired of being held responsible”—he takes a breath, visibly try- ing to regain his composure—“when I have no idea what she wants.”
“Oh,” I say. “So you feel helpless.” That brings him up short.
“Well,” he mutters, “I’m not sure thatI’d....”
“Right,” I say, heading him off. “You don’t do helpless, right? You don’t do feelings at all, except anger perhaps.”
“Yeah, that’s true.”
“Like most hurt partners, your wife needs to get into what happened, and like most partners who’ve had an affair, you’d like to move off of it as quickly as possible.”
“I don’t think wallowing in it. . . .” “She wins,” I tell him.“I’m sorry?” he asks.“The hurt partner wins. She gets to talk about it. She needs to talk about it.”
“And what do I do in the mean- time?” he looks at me, jaw stuck out, angry, a victim.
“Well, would you accept some coaching from me at this juncture?” I ask. He nods, though skeptically, and Bill and I begin to break down the idea of masculinity—or his stunted version of it.
For his entire life, Bill credited his success in life to his fevered drive for perfection. He thought his harsh inner critic, which he never hesitated to unleash on others, was his best friend, holding up the standard, goading him to achieve. I tell Bill that like most of the men I treat, even like Icarus winging it toward the sun, he thought it was the achievement of glory that made him worthy of love. And like Icarus, he was about to fall, and fall hard.
“But my drive is my edge, my equalizer. I may not be as smart as some of the boys in the office, but, man, I can work.”
“Let me help you out here,” I tell him. “I promise you that as we work together, you won’t lose your edge. All the guys I see worry about that. But you can be just as tough and, at the right times, just as driven.”
“So what will be so different?” he asks.
“You,” I tell him. “You’ll be different. Radically different if you want to save this marriage. You’ll have choice.”
Like most feminist therapists I know, I don’t want to “feminize” men any more than I want to “masculinize” women. I want choice. When the moment calls for combat, I want men to be ferocious. But when the moment calls for tenderness, I want men to be sweet, compassionate, soft. Mostly, I want men to be able to discern which moment is which and behave accordingly. I want men to hold fast to those elements that are good and right about the traditional male role—courage, loyalty, competence—but men like Bill also deserve to have access to emotion, particularly the vulnerable emotions that connect us to one another. He deserves to have more empathy for himself first of all, and for those he loves.
By the end of our long session, we all agree that Bill—or “the old Bill,” as I begin to call him—was selfish, controlling, demanding, and unhappy. He based his shaky sense of self worth on his performance, on whatever he’d amassed materially, and on his wife’s nurture. Although he’d have been loath to admit it before, Bill needed an overhaul.
“You’ve been acting in this marriage in a lot of ways as though you were still single,” I tell him. “Six hours a day at the gym, 10-hour bike rides, call girls when you travel. You need to learn to become what I call a real family man,” a term that deliberately harks back to some of the positive ideals contained in traditional notions of masculinity.
Contrary to what gender conservatives claim we feminists are after, I don’t want the men I work with to discard every aspect of masculinity. Rather, I talk to Bill about the differences between living life as a self-centered boy and living it like a family man. It’s not “repeal and replace” the entire notion of masculinity so much as “sort through, use the best, and transform the rest.”
“You played the old game: the competitive, don’t-rest-till-you-kill-them, grab-the-brass-ring game. Okay, you won at that one. Congratulations,”I say to him. “Now it’s time to learn a whole different game, different skills, different rules, if you want to stay married at least.” Bill’s nodding. He loves his wife, feels awful about how much he’s hurt her, would move mountains to keep his family intact. “Good,” I tell him.
“Because it’s mountains you’re going to have to move. This is about cultivating that wildly undeveloped part of you that you’ve actively tried to get rid of. It’s about redefining what you think constitutes “a man” and how he’s supposed to act in the world. You’ll need new skills that stress receptivity over action, like being curious about your wife, learning to be quiet and leave space for her, drawing her out, truly negotiating.” He seems game as he listens. “I’m happy for you,” I tell him. “May this day be the beginning of your new orientation, your new life.”
“Okay,” he says, a little skeptical still.
“The next time your wife wakes up in the middle of the night because she’s a wreck and she needs to talk,” I start.
“I know,” he interrupts.
“Listen,” I tell him. “Here’s your new compass. When in doubt, I want you to pause, take a breath, and then picture yourself as a generous gentleman.” Like the term family man, the opportunity for Bill to see himself as a generous gentleman offers him a model, a reference point, for giving more to his wife without feeling like she’s won and he’s lost. I repurpose a familiar ideal—gentleman—to inspire flexibility in Bill, a willingness to yield that doesn’t shame him. “The next time she wants something from you, ask yourself, What would a generous gentleman do at this moment?
Becoming a generous gentleman requires Bill to move beyond his self-centeredness into compassion and bigheartedness, moving beyond sheer logic to feelings, both his and others. It’s a good example of using a mostly abstract ideal contained within the patriarchal lexicon to help a client move beyond patriarchy itself. Did I have an in-depth discussion with Bill about Donald Trump? No, though I certainly would’ve been open to it had Bill seemed interested. But did I talk to him about patriarchy in general? About women’s changing demands for more sharing, more intimate, more connected marriages? About the state of manhood in transition, from the old to the new? And was I clear with Bill about where I stood on these issues and why? The answer is an emphatic yes on all counts.
“Bill,” I tell him. “You’re a statistic. All over America, men like you are being dragged off to people like me so that we can help you learn how to be more relational, more giving, more empathic, more vulnerable—just a more thoughtful, connected person. There are hundreds of thousands, if not millions, of Bills in offices like this one. We can’t make it all about personal failings; there are too many of you.”
Bill looks at me. “But when we go home,” he sighs, trailing off. “It’s just hard to know what she wants from me.”
“I know,” I commiserate. “This isn’t easy. But you have a wonderful source of information sitting right next to you.” Then I turn to Lydia. “Of course, you’ll have to do things differently, too,” I tell her. “At this stage in the game, you’re more comfortable giving Bill feedback about all he does wrong than vulnerably asking for what he might do right.” Like many of my female clients, Lydia had spent most of her marriage vacillating between stuffing it and losing it. For the most part, she was silent and resentful, so Bill brushed off her occasional rants as hysteria. “You told your truth when you were ready to fight with him, but you did it in a harsh, critical way, which people in general, and men in particular, won’t listen to.”
“Listen,” she says, revving up, “I tried everything under the sun to get him to hear what I was saying.”
“I’m sure that’s true,” I say. “But Lydia, that was then, and this is now. I have a saying: an angry woman is a woman who doesn’t feel heard. But pumping up the emotional volume doesn’t work. However, I think I have good news for you. I think you’ve been heard today, by Bill and by me. I understand what you’re saying I get it, and I’m on it. I want you to let me work with Bill now. I can get through to him in ways you’re not positioned to be able to do. I’m an outside party; you’re his wife.”
Over the years, I’ve found this to be an enormously helpful position to take in therapy, no matter if the therapist happens to a man or a woman. I often say to female clients like Lydia, “I’ve got him. You don’t have to be his relational coach or teacher anymore. Give that job to me. You can afford to relax and start enjoying him again.” By stepping in, acknowledging the asymmetry in their relational skills and wishes, and explicitly offering myself as her ally, I hope to help women like Lydia resign from their role as their partner’s mentor. “I’ll coach Bill,” I tell Lydia. “You breathe, relax, let your heart open up again.”
Earlier in the session, I’d said I was excited for Bill. But with Lydia at the threshold of her own relational learning on how to break the traditional feminine role of silence and anger, I’m thrilled for her, too. I’m eager to teach her how to stand up for herself with love, how to switch from statements like “I don’t like how you’re treating me!” to ones like “I want to be close to you. I want to hear what you’re saying. Could you be kinder right now so I can hear better?”
Both partners need to learn how to be more skilled. But moving each toward increased intimacy requires leaving behind the old roles for them both. Real intimacy and patriarchy are at odds with each other. To the degree that a couple approaches the former, they move beyond the latter. As the old roles seek to reassert themselves in our society, it seems more important than ever to take a stand in favor of new ones, new configurations that provide more openness in men like Bill and more loving firmness in women like Lydia.
AGENTS OF CHANGE
For years, I quipped that, as a couples therapist, I was a medic in the vast gender war, patching up men and women in order to send them back out into the fray. But in the age of Trump, I don’t want to be a neutral medic anymore. I’d rather take a stand for healthy marriages. Pathology is rarely an aberration of the norm so much as an exaggeration of it. The way Bill had routinely controlled and savaged his wife, and the way she’d reacted, with distance and occasional rage of her own, were right out of the patriarchy playbook. Could I have done the same work with them without ever referencing gender roles, or masculinity? Perhaps, but why would I want to, when silhouetting a couple’s issues against the backdrop of gender roles in transition makes so much sense to people?
In 2013, sociologist Michael Kimmel wrote Angry White Men, about a group of people many now claim make up a large part of Trump’s base. Central to Kimmel’s findings was a sense of what he called “aggrieved entitlement,” which, from a psychological perspective, looks to leave the person they’re with as much as they want to leave the person they themselves have become. And it’s not that they’re looking for another person, but another self. But even happy people cheat, and affairs aren’t always a symptom of something wrong in the marriage or in the individual.
A lot like the fusion of shame and grandiosity, a perpetual sense of angry victimhood—in a word, patriarchy. In a new work, Kimmel looks at four organizations that help deprogram men who leave hate groups like white supremacists and jihadists. What he found implicit in all these hate groups was traditional masculinity: the more rigid the vision of the masculine, and the more fervently the man held onto such rigid beliefs, the more vulnerable he was to extremist politics and violence. Countering this vision of masculinity was key to the deprogramming.
With this as our cultural context, what we therapists are being called upon to do is what the WHO has already done—explicitly declare traditional masculinity a health hazard, not just to men, but to the families who live with them. We should continue to develop techniques for openly challenging toxic patriarchal notions like the one that says harsh inner critics are good for us, or the one that says vulnerability is a sign of weakness. We need to invite each gender to reclaim and explore its wholeness, as sexy, smart, competent women, as well as bighearted, strong, vulnerable men. We must check our own biases so as not to sell men short as intrinsically less emotional, for example, or to sell women short by not explicitly helping them find a voice in their relationships that’s simultaneously assertive and cherishing.
In these troubled times, what do we clinicians stand for if not the plumb line of intimacy? But we must remember that intimacy itself is a relatively new, and contentious, demand. Marriage wasn’t historically built for intimacy in today’s terms, but for stability and production. Under patriarchy, emotional intimacy itself is coded as “feminine,” as is therapy, for that matter. The intrinsic values of therapy—communication, understanding, empathy, self-compassion, the importance of emotion—these are all downplayed as “feminine” concerns in the traditional masculine playbook.
I want us therapists to put these concerns on the table, and stand up and be counted as agents for the historically new idea of lasting, long-term intimacy, and with it the increased health and happiness that study after study has shown it leads to. I want us to be more explicit—both in public discourse and in the privacy of our offices—in articulating the painful psychological costs of the old, patriarchal world order, which is asserting itself again in our lives. Democratic relationships simply work better than hierarchical ones in marriages, and both sexes are better off liberated from the dance of contempt. It’s healing for all our clients to move beyond the core collusion and speak truth to power. It’s healing for us therapists to do the same in the presence of those who want our guidance.
We’re the people who are being turned to for help when the old ways no longer work. We can merely patch things up, or we can aim our sights on transformation and offer an entirely new vision. The path toward sustained intimacy can’t be found in the resurgence of a patriarchal past. It’s part of our job and responsibility to point our clients toward the future. If we therapists are to be true agents of healing, we must first be true agents of change.
Terry Real is a nationally recognized family therapist, author, and teacher. He is particularly known for his groundbreaking work on men and male psychology as well as his work on gender and couples; he has been in private practice for over thirty years. Terry has appeared often as the relationship expert for Good Morning America and ABC News. His work has been featured in numerous academic articles as well as media venues such as Oprah, 20/20, The Today Show, CNN, The New York Times, The Wall Street Journal, Psychology Today and many others.
This blog which originally appeared in the Psychotherapy Networker, was republished on NCCT with permission from the author.
Author: Terry Real
Check out a 2-Day Training with Terry Real of The Relational Life Institute
submitted by kerry_lusignan to u/kerry_lusignan [link] [comments]


2020.02.25 17:49 subreddit_stats Subreddit Stats: democrats top posts from 2015-10-14 to 2020-02-24 12:57 PDT

Period: 1594.44 days
Submissions Comments
Total 997 73940
Rate (per day) 0.63 46.36
Unique Redditors 174 17833
Combined Score 1559452 703773

Top Submitters' Top Submissions

  1. 347739 points, 268 submissions: therecordcorrected
    1. Brian Klaas: "The President is openly attempting to go after the owner of a private business because that person also owns a newspaper that accurately reports unflattering stories about the White House. This is literally what Erdogan & Putin did. Republicans in Congress are enabling this too." (17382 points, 470 comments)
    2. Lawrence O'Donnell on Twitter: "The president who did NOT run toward the sound of the guns in Vietnam 50 years ago, now labels an officer with a handgun a "coward" for not running toward the sound of an AR15. Trump is by far the most cowardly president in history." (9771 points, 252 comments)
    3. Stephen King on Twitter: "Fuck your wall. Split that 5 billion between at-risk children who don’t have lunches and vets who can’t get proper medical and psychological treatment. Fuck your vanity project. Do something good for once." (9161 points, 192 comments)
    4. White House claimed Trump had a day full of meetings, but the truth emerges with a swamp selfie: One problem for POTUS and his staff. The Newsmax CEO tweeted a photo and it became clear Trump was not in high-level meetings, he was playing golf. (8152 points, 81 comments)
    5. Adam Schiff: "If the President wanted to know what happened, which was self-reported by the NSA, he could ask. Instead he watches TV and tweets nonsense, as if he’s a Fox pundit, and not head of the Executive Branch. Another day. Another false claim. Wake up, GOP. Silence is complicity." (6494 points, 77 comments)
    6. Oprah for President – another billionaire pseudoscience pusher looking for a job: Ms. Winfrey has been a strong supporter of Jenny McCarthy, who is simply a member of the anti-vaccine religion. Oprah foisted onto the world Dr. Mehmet Oz, one of the most reprehensible pushers of scientific nonsense. (4719 points, 428 comments)
    7. George Takei: "Folks are acting as though we had no choice but to use tear gas at our border. But we have known about this group approaching for weeks. We could have had buses and agents ready to process people in an orderly and humane way. Instead, Trump closed the border and gassed them." (3546 points, 271 comments)
    8. Dan Shapiro: "Yes, Obama congratulated Putin in 2012. That was before Russia invaded Ukraine, before Russia deployed to Syria to back Assad's genocide, before Russia interfered in US elections, before Russia launched a CW attack in the UK. Pay attention: Trump's own people know he blew this." (3511 points, 92 comments)
    9. Clara Jeffery on Twitter: "Those 5,000 troops sitting on the border waiting for a few hundred bedraggled migrants to show up a month from now could be digging fire lines and helping to evacuate people and livestock from California instead." (3148 points, 132 comments)
    10. Kaitlan Collins on Twitter: "With President Trump seated before him, French President Macron says, "Patriotism is the exact opposite of nationalism. Nationalism is a betrayal of patriotism. By saying 'our interests first'...we erase what a nation hold dearest...its moral values."" (2938 points, 93 comments)
  2. 194874 points, 80 submissions: VegaThePunisher
    1. It would not be polite to ask the President to walk farther than 100 feet without a golf cart. (19072 points, 82 comments)
    2. He will stop at nothing. (14954 points, 433 comments)
    3. Tell them, Mr. President! (12540 points, 219 comments)
    4. Thank you, Mr. President. (10315 points, 387 comments)
    5. American Disasters. (5733 points, 310 comments)
    6. The Democrat Economic Curve. (5562 points, 554 comments)
    7. The situation summed up. (5436 points, 683 comments)
    8. ShickenChit. (4078 points, 281 comments)
    9. “Obama golfed too much.” (3944 points, 210 comments)
    10. Authoritarianism has come to America. (3857 points, 272 comments)
  3. 153388 points, 134 submissions: progress18
    1. Democrat Doug Jones wins election to US Senate from Alabama (8102 points, 169 comments)
    2. Trump 'likely obstructed justice' in Comey firing, could be impeached, Brookings Institute says (4947 points, 109 comments)
    3. Like a Boss (2128 points, 132 comments)
    4. Republican Gerrymandering Has Basically Destroyed Representative Democracy in Wisconsin (2028 points, 80 comments)
    5. Joe Biden says silence in the face of white supremacy 'is complicity' during fiery speech against Trump (1951 points, 125 comments)
    6. Scott Walker narrowly loses Wisconsin governor's race – and he can't ask for a recount because of a law he put in place (1917 points, 79 comments)
    7. Betsy DeVos is unfit to lead the Education Department. It's time for her to resign. (1905 points, 53 comments)
    8. Americans overwhelmingly want Congress to defy Trump and override his veto of the border wall emergency declaration (1902 points, 73 comments)
    9. 'The Red MAGA Hat Is the New White Hood' Says Alyssa Milano in Twitter Storm (1866 points, 278 comments)
    10. Despite Trump's campaign promise to revive U.S. manufacturing, General Motors to slash 14,000 jobs, close up to 5 plants (1815 points, 139 comments)
  4. 123950 points, 60 submissions: skepticalspectacle1
    1. Join The Battle For Net Neutrality! Don't Let The FCC Destroy The Internet! (30256 points, 19 comments)
    2. Republican ‘pro-life’ congressman slept with patients and paid for their abortions: ‘God has forgiven me’ (19739 points, 863 comments)
    3. Why is it easier to blame 150,000,000 Americans being 'lazy' rather than 400 Americans being greedy. (10606 points, 217 comments)
    4. This is a picture of NRA President Wayne Lapierre with a confessed Russian Spy (2564 points, 118 comments)
    5. McConnell Received $3.5M In Campaign Donations From Russian Oligarch-Linked Firm (2185 points, 63 comments)
    6. Say it again, for those in the back (1912 points, 92 comments)
    7. If they didn't already exist, public libraries would strike people as the most outlandish left-wing idea. (1727 points, 74 comments)
    8. McCabe: My firing is part of effort to undermine Mueller probe (1683 points, 77 comments)
    9. Colbert on Pat Robertson's "bottom line" view of Khashoggi's murder. (1622 points, 54 comments)
    10. Paul Ryan tries to tout a 1.50 a week raise, gets shut down hard. (1583 points, 51 comments)
  5. 66906 points, 34 submissions: anutensil
    1. Sean Spicer admits to White House coordination with Fox News on DNC murder conspiracy reports (11511 points, 316 comments)
    2. Trump Has Spent More Than Three Months This Year At His Properties, Adding to Ethics Concerns - "Americans, on average, get 15 paid vacation days a year, but use only 12. Trump has taken more than 100." (8544 points, 210 comments)
    3. ‘We are stronger than you’: VA governor blasts ‘pretend patriot’ white supremacists for Charlottesville violence (6194 points, 181 comments)
    4. "This is not Fox." Joy Reid shuts down Trump adviser who implies Clintons killed someone (5116 points, 338 comments)
    5. Conservatives Shocked To Discover That Milo Yiannopoulos Is A Terrible Human Being (3041 points, 100 comments)
    6. Trump Will Require All EPA Science to Be Screened by Political Staffers - Reminder: This is the guy who thinks climate change is a Chinese hoax. (2896 points, 99 comments)
    7. Trump’s golfing binge is delaying White House duties - Every single American should be able to agree Trump broke at least one promise he made before his 2016 presidential election victory: no golfing. (1938 points, 81 comments)
    8. Republican Fox & Friends pundit, overcome with emotion, says he can’t defend Trump anymore - "He has failed us." (1902 points, 86 comments)
    9. Trump’s biographer says his Twitter flailing isn’t a grand distraction scheme because he’s not smart enough for that (1737 points, 54 comments)
    10. Kushner family business under investigation by Maryland AG for jailing tenants to collect debts (1669 points, 70 comments)
  6. 56043 points, 2 submissions: BumBiddlyBiddlyBum
    1. This is President Barack Obama. He did not sell Americans out to the telecom lobby, but instead called upon on the FCC to take up the strongest possible rules to protect net neutrality, which they did at his instruction in 2015. (54434 points, 442 comments)
    2. Trump revealed highly classified information to Russian foreign minister and ambassador (1609 points, 37 comments)
  7. 55271 points, 50 submissions: dolphins3
    1. Nancy Pelosi: It really tells you all you need to know about the priorities of Washington Republicans that a bill to make it easier to vote, increase government transparency, get dark money out of politics & empower working people in our elections is met with such disdain. #ForThePeople (3276 points, 130 comments)
    2. Hillary Clinton: Only about 1% of abortions happen later in pregnancy—almost always because a woman’s health or life is at risk, or the pregnancy is no longer viable. Lying about this is dangerous, and a slap in the face to families who face heartbreaking situations. (3253 points, 160 comments)
    3. Senator Doug Jones: The shutdown should have never happened. What the President signed yesterday was the same thing the Senate passed unanimously in December. 35 days later we are back to square 1. Mr. President you want people to have good faith dialog, but good faith is a two way street. (1907 points, 55 comments)
    4. Hillary Clinton: Voting isn't a privilege. It's a right. And requiring voters to pay off fines and fees to exercise that right is a modern-day poll tax. (1654 points, 167 comments)
    5. Hillary Clinton: As of today, this shutdown is the longest in history. The costs are already high: People are missing paychecks, losing business, or working without pay. Our national parks are overrun with trash. The FDA and FBI warn of the harm to our food safety and national security. (1514 points, 136 comments)
    6. Hillary Clinton: In one week, we have the chance to flip 17 governorships from red to blue. Here are four incredible candidates who deserve your support: (1337 points, 14 comments)
    7. Hillary Clinton: Yesterday was the court-ordered deadline for the administration to reunite families it has separated at the border, but more than 700 children are not yet back with their parents. Let’s keep making our voices heard until every single family is reunited. (1264 points, 142 comments)
    8. AOC: For men who are allegedly so “proud” of being straight, they seem to show real incompetence at attracting women to their event. Seems more like a “I-Struggle-With-Masculinity” parade to me. 🤷🏽‍♀️ Hope they grow enough over the next year to support / join LGBTQ fam next #Pride! 🏳️‍🌈 (1244 points, 98 comments)
    9. Hillary Clinton: The House just passed a bill to require background checks on all gun sales in the country. It's the first gun control legislation to pass since 1994. Thank @gabbygiffords, @lucymcbath, @speakerpelosi and so many others for their work on this issue by calling your senators! (1241 points, 101 comments)
    10. Joe Biden: No one should live in fear of being fired, evicted from their home, or denied service in a restaurant just because of their gender identity or who they love. The #EqualityAct is long overdue, and will ensure LGBTQ Americans are treated with the dignity and respect they deserve. (1223 points, 54 comments)
  8. 32133 points, 24 submissions: wenchette
    1. House Republicans pull health care bill (5159 points, 245 comments)
    2. America has never seen a party less caring than 21st-century Republicans (3334 points, 96 comments)
    3. Susan Collins Is Now Trailing Her Democratic Challenger in New Poll (1951 points, 93 comments)
    4. NY Defense Attorney: "For context on Manafort’s 47 months in prison, my client yesterday was offered 36-72 months in prison for stealing $100 worth of quarters from a residential laundry room." (1949 points, 64 comments)
    5. Alex Jones flees to Vimeo, is immediately banned there as well (1693 points, 111 comments)
    6. As He Exits the House, It's Worth Noting That Paul Ryan Has Failed Spectacularly (1479 points, 31 comments)
    7. Roy Moore Banned From Mall After Locals Were Troubled by His Interactions with Teen Girls (1457 points, 23 comments)
    8. Michelle Obama Launches Voter Registration Campaign (1323 points, 126 comments)
    9. GOP strategist admits: House Dems look "like America & our future" but House Republicans look "like Board meeting of 1950s corporation... basic law of politics: be for the future not past." (1294 points, 43 comments)
    10. New Survey Shows Young People Are Staying Liberal, Conservatives Are Dying Off (1102 points, 90 comments)
  9. 26206 points, 21 submissions: jonfla
    1. No President facing criminal indictment for violation of Federal laws, potentially including treason, should be allowed to nominate a Supreme Court Justice (5110 points, 232 comments)
    2. The Republican-Fox News plot to have Mueller fired is gathering steam (1506 points, 74 comments)
    3. Hypocrisy Hits Home: Trump’s Allies Suddenly Care About Decorum And Unity After Pelosi Tears Up SOTU Speech (1440 points, 174 comments)
    4. Rep. Cummings (D-MD) asks Trump White House to list which ethics rules don't apply to it (1293 points, 32 comments)
    5. Mitch McConnell Rails Against 'Moscow Mitch' Nickname. What Better Way To Assure It Will Continue To Be Used (1232 points, 71 comments)
    6. Over 80,000 Sign Petition To Have Street Outside Trump Tower Named After Obama (1206 points, 63 comments)
    7. Conservative Icon George Will: Young Voters Now Consider GOP 'The Dumb Party' (1178 points, 132 comments)
    8. Trump Has Now Shifted $1.7 Million From Campaign Donors To His Private Business (1170 points, 79 comments)
    9. Trump Met With Boos, ‘Lock Him Up’ Chants At Nats Game (1143 points, 76 comments)
    10. GOP Lawmaker Breaks Ranks On Russia Report: 'We've Lost All Credibility' (1108 points, 10 comments)
  10. 20191 points, 9 submissions: jaydawg69
    1. The Press Conference (5746 points, 104 comments)
    2. Proud to be a Liberal! (4982 points, 567 comments)
    3. VOTE! (2517 points, 124 comments)
    4. Benghazi vs Mueller (1672 points, 63 comments)
    5. 3 branches of government (1225 points, 63 comments)
    6. Trump’s experiences vs Mueller’s experiences (1113 points, 72 comments)
    7. LBJ on the GOP (1061 points, 60 comments)
    8. Trump at the UN (974 points, 33 comments)
    9. His record (901 points, 69 comments)
  11. 15338 points, 1 submission: PrestoVivace
    1. Man who fueled Trump's voter fraud conspiracy is registered in 3 states (15338 points, 338 comments)
  12. 14048 points, 1 submission: dr_isk_16
    1. What a REAL President Looks Like. (14048 points, 812 comments)
  13. 12997 points, 7 submissions: Anticipator1234
    1. Remember when people like Sarah Palin shit their pants when Obama traveled on the taxpayer's dime? Trump is about to "bankrupt" the U.S. Secret Service. Where are those complaints now? (5802 points, 347 comments)
    2. Trump now lies up to 9 times a day on average lately (1616 points, 55 comments)
    3. Trump Won Because Of Lower Democratic Turnout. No Matter Who Wins The Nomination... Vote! (1451 points, 329 comments)
    4. Justice officials say AG Sessions spoke with Russian ambassador during presidential campaign, may have lied about it (1392 points, 107 comments)
    5. Trump Campaign Aides Had Repeated Contacts With Russian Intelligence (1106 points, 108 comments)
    6. Support for impeachment jumps in new poll (885 points, 48 comments)
    7. Not a surprise: Behind the Cambridge Analytica Scandal, another Russian (745 points, 3 comments)
  14. 12570 points, 6 submissions: KubrickIsMyCopilot
    1. Trump bans American-born man from reentering US who testified against him in Russia investigation. (6302 points, 136 comments)
    2. Fox News refuses to run ad for Oscar-nominated anti-Nazi documentary because it would offend its Republican viewers. (2049 points, 108 comments)
    3. Fox News co-founder Rupert Murdoch's New Zealand network pulled off the air over coverage of Nazi terrorist attacks. (1131 points, 40 comments)
    4. Yale professor warns time running out for Americans to stop Trump dictatorship. (1092 points, 187 comments)
    5. Cohen: fears no "peaceful transition" if Trump loses in 2020 (1015 points, 118 comments)
    6. Trump EPA advisor claimed air is "too clean," and that pollution is healthy for children's lungs. (981 points, 67 comments)
  15. 12141 points, 13 submissions: Ghdust2
    1. Texas Republicans Are Lying About Voter Fraud to Justify a Massive, Racist Voter Purge. (1302 points, 44 comments)
    2. Mitch McConnell is the problem. (1178 points, 55 comments)
    3. Campaign to draft Democratic challenger to McConnell starts raising funds. (1078 points, 34 comments)
    4. House Democrats’ 1st bill targets big donors, voting access. (1012 points, 58 comments)
    5. “Never again means close the camps”: Jews protest ICE across the country. (957 points, 73 comments)
    6. Kamala Harris on requiring paper ballots in all federal elections: "Because Russia can't hack a piece of paper". (954 points, 86 comments)
    7. Sen. Elizabeth Warren says she has ‘zero’ sympathy for parents caught in college admissions scam. (942 points, 87 comments)
    8. It’s over. Democrat Ben McAdams ousts Republican Rep Mia Love by 694 votes. (868 points, 24 comments)
    9. ‘Serving under Trump is embarrassing’: Fifth Republican congressman retires in just two weeks as GOP fears more exits. (852 points, 49 comments)
    10. Mitch McConnell Leads the Pack in Race to Climb the Farthest Up Trump's Ass. (844 points, 26 comments)
  16. 12052 points, 13 submissions: JLBesq1981
    1. Americans rank Barack Obama as best president of their lifetimes: Poll (1677 points, 125 comments)
    2. Trump’s First 3 Years Created 1.5 Million Fewer Jobs Than Obama’s Last 3 (1174 points, 101 comments)
    3. GOP Accused of 'Greatest Cover-Up Since Watergate' as Senate Set to End First Witness-Less Impeachment Trial in US History (1061 points, 125 comments)
    4. “Let the Voters Decide” Doesn’t Work if Trump Fires His National Security Staff So Russia Can Help Him Again (960 points, 39 comments)
    5. Stephen Miller is no outlier. White supremacy rules the Republican party (925 points, 82 comments)
    6. Attorney General William Barr's actions are "remarkably not normal," says legal historian (845 points, 28 comments)
    7. Judge signs order permanently blocking citizenship question from 2020 census (827 points, 21 comments)
    8. Federal Law Says 'Go Back To Where You Came From' Counts As Discrimination (826 points, 20 comments)
    9. Republican Party official quits in disgust over Trump's impeachment trial, says local GOP Is "propaganda shill" for president (796 points, 25 comments)
    10. New Poll Shows 10-Point Spike In Support for Impeachment Hearings (784 points, 92 comments)

Top Commenters

  1. VegaThePunisher (14705 points, 3287 comments)
  2. Gsteel11 (7350 points, 558 comments)
  3. soda_cookie (5543 points, 2 comments)
  4. Bravot (5208 points, 1 comment)
  5. therecordcorrected (4282 points, 749 comments)
  6. kerryfinchelhillary (4166 points, 358 comments)
  7. Jeffylew77 (3890 points, 8 comments)
  8. KubrickIsMyCopilot (3387 points, 179 comments)
  9. Eternius00 (2835 points, 2 comments)
  10. UserN-me (2819 points, 260 comments)

Top Submissions

  1. This is President Barack Obama. He did not sell Americans out to the telecom lobby, but instead called upon on the FCC to take up the strongest possible rules to protect net neutrality, which they did at his instruction in 2015. by BumBiddlyBiddlyBum (54434 points, 442 comments)
  2. Join The Battle For Net Neutrality! Don't Let The FCC Destroy The Internet! by skepticalspectacle1 (30256 points, 19 comments)
  3. Republican ‘pro-life’ congressman slept with patients and paid for their abortions: ‘God has forgiven me’ by skepticalspectacle1 (19739 points, 863 comments)
  4. It would not be polite to ask the President to walk farther than 100 feet without a golf cart. by VegaThePunisher (19072 points, 82 comments)
  5. Brian Klaas: "The President is openly attempting to go after the owner of a private business because that person also owns a newspaper that accurately reports unflattering stories about the White House. This is literally what Erdogan & Putin did. Republicans in Congress are enabling this too." by therecordcorrected (17382 points, 470 comments)
  6. Man who fueled Trump's voter fraud conspiracy is registered in 3 states by PrestoVivace (15338 points, 338 comments)
  7. He will stop at nothing. by VegaThePunisher (14954 points, 433 comments)
  8. What a REAL President Looks Like. by dr_isk_16 (14048 points, 812 comments)
  9. Tell them, Mr. President! by VegaThePunisher (12540 points, 219 comments)
  10. House Dems vs House GOP: Diversity on Display by Tribat_1 (11695 points, 565 comments)

Top Comments

  1. 5539 points: soda_cookie's comment in This is President Barack Obama. He did not sell Americans out to the telecom lobby, but instead called upon on the FCC to take up the strongest possible rules to protect net neutrality, which they did at his instruction in 2015.
  2. 5208 points: Bravot's comment in Thank you, Mr. President.
  3. 3802 points: Jeffylew77's comment in Tell them, Mr. President!
  4. 2696 points: Eternius00's comment in Republican ‘pro-life’ congressman slept with patients and paid for their abortions: ‘God has forgiven me’
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2020.02.06 11:27 kerry_lusignan The Long Shadow of Couples Therapy in the Age of Trump

The Long Shadow of Couples Therapy in the Age of Trump

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Not long ago, I used to joke that as a feminist family therapist I was obsolete twice over: once for being a family therapist and a systemic thinker— instead of being, say, a CBT practitioner—and then once again for being a feminist. I mean, who cared about feminism anymore? The points had been made, the lessons learned, and to some degree at least, the battles won—or at least on the way to being won. Feminism seemed to be old news. Gender issues in therapy? If anyone spoke about that anymore, it was to reenvision the whole idea—trans-kids, gender-fluid kids, straight men sleeping with other straight men. As for the impact of traditional gender roles on couples, on society—as for conversations about patriarchy and its effects—psychotherapists seemed largely to have lost interest.
Then 2016 happened.
When I gave a workshop called “Working with Challenging Men” at the 2015 Networker Symposium, it drew an audience of about 50 participants. When I was asked this year to give the same workshop, it drew an audience of more than 250. What happened to swell the ranks of those interested? We all know the answer: Donald Trump.
No matter what your political persuasion, it’s hard to deny that we have a man in the White House who behaves in ways that are not only challenging, but atavistic, offensive, and often downright frightening. Trump has called women “fat pigs,” ridiculed their appearance on social media, objectified and mocked them in person, and in his most unvarnished moment, bragged about assaulting them.
He’s regularly displayed behaviors one might’ve thought disqualifying in a public official. Harvard President Lawrence Summers was ousted almost immediately for asserting that women may have less innate math abilities than men—gone, and for a good reason. But “grab ’em by the pussy” from the leader of the free world? Democrats certainly thought it wouldn’t wash, but their efforts to make Trump’s character the issue in the election didn’t work. Each time they were freshly outraged by Trump’s behavior, his poll numbers grew.
So here’s a sobering thought: suppose Trump was elected not despite his offensive, misogynous behaviors but, at least in part, because of them. Whatever other factors determined the outcome of the election, a significantly large number of Americans, both men and women, educated and less educated, appear to have wanted a bully—or, said differently, a strongman—to be their nation’s leader. In a time perceived as dangerous, a time when the government seemed too paralyzed to accomplish much, when conservatives portrayed Obama as weak, ruminative, even feminine, we turned to a self-stylized alpha male.
Trump is a type. He fits the mold of other uber-tough guys of either sex that he openly admires and emulates: Erdogan in Turkey, Orban in Hungary, the Brexit leaders and Theresa May in the UK, and of course, there’s his storied bromance with Putin. Rarely noted is the fact that not just in the US, but sweeping throughout the West, this new so-called populism is gendered. Its appeal doesn’t lie exclusively with men. Factions of men and women these days are feeling a powerful pull toward many of the notions of traditional masculinity—and not just those few that make for good character, like real courage or loyalty. What we’re witnessing is a reassertion of masculinity’s most difficult and harmful traits: aggression, narcissism, sexual assaultiveness, grandiosity, and contempt.
And yet we psychotherapists, as a field, have remained largely silent about this resurgence, hamstrung by an ethical code that prohibits diagnosis or clinical discussion of public figures from afar. In our offices, we assiduously practice neutrality with regard to anything that smacks of the debates going on in the political realm, petrified that we might impose our values on vulnerable clients. But is neutrality in these times really in our clients’ best interests? Consider a recent couples session in my office with Julia, a petite and straight-backed woman, who lost her customary poise as she recounted her troubled week with her husband, Bob.
“I’m shot,” she confesses. “Frayed. Like a horse that shies away from the slightest sound.”
“She’s pretty spooked,” the laconic Bob agrees.
Julia smiles ruefully. “My poor husband tried to make love the other night, and I practically bit his head off.” What was triggering her so acutely? Haltingly, little by little, the trauma story winds its way out of her. First, she recalls the “ick factor,” as she puts it, of feeling her selfish, boundaryless father notice her physical development as an adolescent. Then there was the time he danced with her and had an erection, and finally, the night he drank too much and out and out groped her. “No one stood up for me. No one protected me. And now, ever since the election, I won’t let Bob near me,” Julia cries. “Just here, sitting here with you two men, walking the streets, I feel so unsafe.”
I take a deep breath and say what’s hanging like a lead weight in the air. “Your father’s in the White House,” I tell her. She doubles over, weeping hard. But she also reaches for her husband’s hand.
All over America women like Julia, who have histories of molestation, have been triggered by the ascendency of Trump. Julia is certainly in need of some trauma treatment, obviously; but to my mind, that comes second. The first order of business with her is naming the reality of what she’s facing. There’s a sexually demeaning man in the White House. This is real, not just about her sensitivities. For me to take a neutral stance on the issue, emphasizing Julia’s feelings and deemphasizing the actual circumstance, comes too close to minimization or denial, a replay of the covert nature of her father’s abuse to begin with. It was important, I felt, to speak truth to power; it was important for me as her therapist to name names.
THE HAZARDS OF MASCULINITY Let me be clear. I haven’t been for 40 years, nor will I ever be, neutral on the issue of patriarchy in my work. Traditional gender roles are a bad deal for both sexes. And they’re particularly toxic for men. The evidence couldn’t be clearer. In fact, the World Health Organization (WHO) has issued a statement implicating traditional masculine values as inimical to good health.
Let’s take a stark, bottomline issue: death. Men live 7 to 10 years less than women do, not because of some genetic differences, as most people imagine, but because men act like, well, men. For one, we don’t seek help as often as women do; it’s unmanly. Indeed, as I once wrote about male depression, “A man is as likely to ask for help with depression as he is to ask for directions.” And men are more noncompliant with treatment when we do get it. Also, we take many more risks. That driver without a seatbelt—odds are that’s a man. Men drink more, take drugs more, are more than three times as likely to be imprisoned, and five times as likely to commit suicide.
As Michael Marmot of WHO puts it, men’s poorer survival rates “reflect several factors: greater levels of occupational exposure to physical and chemical hazards, behaviors associated with male norms of risk-taking and adventure, health behavior paradigms related to masculinity, and the fact that men are less likely to visit a doctor when they are ill and, when they see a doctor, are less likely to report on the symptoms of disease or illness.”
Traditional masculine habits not only hurt men’s physical and psychological health, but also produce the least happy marriages. Study after study has shown that egalitarian marriages—which often involve dual careers and always encompass shared housework and decision making—unequivocally lead to higher rates of marital satisfaction for both sexes than do “traditional” marriages, based on hierarchy and a strict division of roles. Yet most therapists, even today, act as if these choices in marriage were simply a matter of personal preference, of legitimate, sometimes clashing values.
Where do we stand on issues like toxic masculinity and paternalistic marriage? For the most part, we don’t stand anywhere. We blink. So let me ask, if we were a group of dentists, knowing that candy is bad for teeth, would we be silent on the issue? Would we consider tooth brushing a personal value, not to be judged, only a matter of preference to be negotiated between family members?
PSYCHOLOGICAL PATRIARCHY
The men and women who come to us for help don’t live in a gender-neutral world. They’re embedded in, and are often emblematic of, a raging debate about patriarchy and a certain vision of masculinity. Trump appeals to a gender-conservative narrative, which holds feminists (“feminazis” as Rush Limbaugh calls us) responsible for deliberately attacking the line between masculine and feminine, and for “feminizing” men.

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In a recent National Review article on Trump and masculinity, for example, Steven Watts laments that “a blizzard of Millennial ‘snowflakes’ has blanketed many campuses with weeping, traumatized students who, in the face of the slightest challenge to their opinions, flee to ‘safe spaces’ to find comfort with stuffed animals, puppies, balloons, and crayons.” And Fox News’s Andrea Tantaros rails, “The left has tried to culturally feminize this country in a way that is disgusting. And for blue-collar voters . . . their last hope is Donald Trump to get their masculinity back.”
The 2016 Presidential Gender Watch Report summarizes several surveys this way: “Trump supporters [are] much more likely than Clinton voters to say that men and women should ‘stick to the roles for which they are naturally suited,’ that society has become too soft and feminine, and that society today seems to ‘punish men just for acting like men.’” But to understand fully the implications of this gender narrative, even the contemptuous nuance of a derogatory term like snowflake, deemed by the Urban Dictionary as “insult of the year,” one needs to look squarely at the nature and dynamic of patriarchy itself.
I use the word patriarchy synonymously with traditional gender roles—misguided stoicism in men, resentful accommodation in women. As I tell my clients, an inwardly shame-based, outwardly driven man, coupled with an outwardly accommodating, inwardly aggrieved woman—why, that’s America’s defining heterosexual couple, successful in the world and a mess at home. Certainly, 50 years of feminism have changed most women’s expectations for themselves and their marriages, and Millennial men, for all their vaunted narcissism, are in many ways the most gender-progressive group of guys who’ve ever existed. But Baby Boomer men are often a mixed bag, and Boomer couples are in deeply conflicted distress. Divorce rates among this group are alarming, and climbing, causing some to write of a “gray divorce revolution.” We can reliably attribute many factors to this trend, but here’s the one that strikes me: many men in their 60’s are cut from the old patriarchal cloth, while many women in their 60’s are now having none of it. Have we therapists tuned in to what’s changed and what hasn’t in our gender attitudes?
Frankly, most of us in the mental health community thought that the old paradigm was on its way out— and indeed it might be. But not without a fight. The old rules, and the old roles, are still kicking, and many of us progressives have just grown complacent. If anyone over-estimated the triumph of feminism, the past election has to be viewed as a stinging rebuke and rejection. To this day, like it or not, we’re fish, and patriarchy is the tainted water we swim in.
But let’s get specific about patriarchy. For most, the word conjures up images of male privilege and dominance, and a resulting anger in women. I call this level political patriarchy, which is, simply put, sexism: the oppression of women at the hands of men. Psychological patriarchy is the structure of relationships organized under patriarchy. It not only plays in relations between men and women, but undergirds dynamics on a much broader level—among women, mothers and children, even cultures and races. The men and women who seek out therapy most often arrive at our doorstep saturated in the dynamic of psychological patriarchy, and I think it yields extraordinary clinical benefit to know about and work with this dynamic.
I see psychological patriarchy as the product of three processes, which you can imagine as three concentric rings.
The great divide. The first of these rings renowned family therapist Olga Silverstein, author of The Courage to Raise Good Men, refers to as “the halving process.” With this process, it’s as if we gathered all the qualities of one whole human being, drew a line down the middle, and declared that all the traits on the right side of the line were masculine and all those on the left were feminine. Everyone knows which traits are supposed to belong on which side. Being logical, strong, and competent is on the right, for example, and being nurturing, emotional, and dependent is on the left.
The dance of contempt. In traditional patriarchy, the two bifurcated halves, masculine and feminine, aren’t held as separate but equal. The “masculine” qualities are exalted, the “feminine” devalued. What does this tell us? That the essential relationship between masculine and feminine is one of contempt. In other words, the masculine holds the feminine as inferior. As feminist psychologist and sociologist Nancy Chodorow pointed out, masculine identity is defined by not being a girl, not being a woman, not being a sissy. Vulnerability is viewed as weakness, a source of embarrassment.
If you think this dance of contempt doesn’t affect you, I suggest you take a look at Trump’s budget. Here’s how Erin Gloria Ryan put it in The Daily Beast: “The President’s budget, like everything he talks about, play[s] into his conception of over-the-top manliness. Cuts to education, the environment, are cuts to feminized concerns, really. After school programs and meals-on-wheels, those are caretaking programs. Education (and really, all childcare), also the purview of women. The arts, not for men like Trump.”
The core collusion. I believe one of the greatest unseen motivators in human psychology is a compulsion in whoever is on the feminine side of the equation to protect the disowned fragility of whoever is on the masculine side. Even while being mistreated, the “feminine” shields the “masculine.” Whether it’s a child in relation to an abusive parent, a wife in relation to a violent husband, a captive who develops a dependency on those who took him or her hostage, or a church that protects sexually abusive ministers, perpetrators are routinely protected. One dares not speak truth to power. Everyday in our offices we bear witness to traditional hetero relationships in which the woman feels a deeper empathic connection to the wounded boy inside the man than the man himself feels. If she could only love that boy enough, she thinks, he’d be healed and all would be well. This is the classic codependent, a prisoner of what psychiatrist Martha Stark calls relentless hope. It’s an intrinsic part of trauma that victims (the “feminine”) tend to have hyper-empathy for the perpetrator (the “masculine”) and hypo-empathy for themselves. I call this empathic reversal, and it’s our job as clinicians to reverse that reversal and set things right, so that the perpetrator is held accountable and the victim is met with compassion, especially self-compassion.
CUT FROM THE OLD CLOTH
Just observing the way 53-year-old Bill sauntered over to my couch, clearly owning the room, I was tempted to label him an Old-School Guy. Lydia, his wife of 20-plus years, who was on the verge of leaving him, had another label for him. “Basically,” she tells me right off the bat, “he’s been a dick.” She bends down to scratch her ankle. “A real dick,” she reiterates. “For years, decades,” she sighs. “And I took it. I loved him. I still do. But, well, things have changed.” They’d come to my office in Boston from their home in Texas for what Bill described as a Hail Mary pass.

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Here’s the story. Bill is a type: driven, handsome, relentless, utterly perfectionistic, and vicious to himself and others when a benchmark isn’t cleared. As their kids were growing up, there wasn’t much Lydia could do right: the house wasn’t picked up, the kids were too rowdy, the food was late or bland or both. Bill was both controlling and demeaning.
Lately, he’d become obsessed with physical performance, and he wanted to share his passion with his wife. Unfortunately, the way he invited her to the gym with him was to tell her how overweight she was. “I’m just attracted to fit women,” Bill says, shrugging.
“Yeah,” Lydia adds bitterly. “He thinks it’ll motivate me when he says, ‘That fat hanging over your belt disgusts me.’”
“I don’t have a very high emotional IQ,” Bill confides to me, his expression bland, untroubled. I’m thinking that I agree with him. Lydia, by the way, had been a competing amateur tennis player, with a figure many women would envy. I turn to Lydia, raising my eyebrows in a question.
“I’m no doormat,” Lydia asserts, stretching each word in her slow Texas drawl. “Sure, I took up at the gym again, but I also started spending more time with my girlfriends—I have a lot of friends—and I started my own business.”
I’m impressed. “Okay,” I say. “You’re no doormat.”
“Right,” she says.
“You didn’t just sit there and take his mistreatment.”
“Right.”
“You, uh,” I continue, “you gathered up your courage and confront- ed your husband on how. . . .”
“Well, no,” she smiles shyly. “I sup- pose I fell short on that one, until now anyway. Now I do.”
“What changed?” I ask, although I’m pretty certain I know the answer from their intake write up.
“Marylyn is what changed, Terry,” she says. And then, after a pause, she adds, “Eighteen months with Marylyn behind my back is what changed.” Bill sits beside her stony. “And there were others. I’m not sure of them all. Call girls when he traveled.” Letting out a sigh, she turns to her husband.
“It’s true,” Bill finally says, shaking his head. “I don’t know what I was thinking.”
“Well,” I say, “what were you feeling?”
“Not much,” Bill tells me. Not satisfied, I press again, but he turns it back on Lydia, saying, “Well, you did pull away. I mean, between redoing the house, your business, your friends.”
“I pulled away because you were impossible!” Lydia wails in a quivering voice. “You kept harping at me about the damn gym!”
“Look,” he responds, more to me than to her, “I like the look of a fit woman. Shoot me. My parents were old in their 50’s, dead in their early 70’s. That’s not for me. I want to compete in triathlons in my 80’s. And I want my wife competing right by my side when I do.”
I’m starting to feel claustrophobic just hearing this. “Well, that’s fine, Bill. That’s what you want,” I tell him. “But have you ever asked Lydia what she wants?”
“I want you to talk to me,” Lydia finally screams, losing composure. She bends over and cries. “Jesus, just sit down and talk to me.”
“Okay, honey, I will,” Bill says to soothe her. But whether he will or won’t, he certainly hasn’t so far. “I’m just not good with emotion,” he tells me.“I just try to find a path and go forward. That’s my usual approach. Like the other night she woke me up in the middle of the night, crying, and I asked her if there’s anything she wanted, but. . . .”
“Just hold me,” she cries, “Just tell me you love me and that you want me!”
He turns on her, an accusing finger close to her face. “But you didn’t ask me for that, did you?” he says, making his point before some imagined jury. “Did you?” Now I can see the dripping condescension Lydia spoke of.
I lean toward him. “What are you so mad about?” I ask him, knowing that anger and lust are the only two emotions men are allowed in the traditional patriarchal setup. But much male rage is helpless rage. Burdened with the responsibility, and the entitlement, to fix anything that’s broken, including his wife, Bill sees Lydia’s unhappiness as an insoluble problem he must master, a rigged Rubik’s Cube with no winning moves. He describes his feelings as many men in his position do: frustration.
“I’m tired of being held responsible”—he takes a breath, visibly try- ing to regain his composure—“when I have no idea what she wants.”
“Oh,” I say. “So you feel helpless.” That brings him up short.
“Well,” he mutters, “I’m not sure thatI’d....”
“Right,” I say, heading him off. “You don’t do helpless, right? You don’t do feelings at all, except anger perhaps.”
“Yeah, that’s true.”
“Like most hurt partners, your wife needs to get into what happened, and like most partners who’ve had an affair, you’d like to move off of it as quickly as possible.”
“I don’t think wallowing in it. . . .” “She wins,” I tell him.“I’m sorry?” he asks.“The hurt partner wins. She gets to talk about it. She needs to talk about it.”
“And what do I do in the mean- time?” he looks at me, jaw stuck out, angry, a victim.
“Well, would you accept some coaching from me at this juncture?” I ask. He nods, though skeptically, and Bill and I begin to break down the idea of masculinity—or his stunted version of it.
For his entire life, Bill credited his success in life to his fevered drive for perfection. He thought his harsh inner critic, which he never hesitated to unleash on others, was his best friend, holding up the standard, goading him to achieve. I tell Bill that like most of the men I treat, even like Icarus winging it toward the sun, he thought it was the achievement of glory that made him worthy of love. And like Icarus, he was about to fall, and fall hard.
“But my drive is my edge, my equalizer. I may not be as smart as some of the boys in the office, but, man, I can work.”
“Let me help you out here,” I tell him. “I promise you that as we work together, you won’t lose your edge. All the guys I see worry about that. But you can be just as tough and, at the right times, just as driven.”
“So what will be so different?” he asks.
“You,” I tell him. “You’ll be different. Radically different if you want to save this marriage. You’ll have choice.”
Like most feminist therapists I know, I don’t want to “feminize” men any more than I want to “masculinize” women. I want choice. When the moment calls for combat, I want men to be ferocious. But when the moment calls for tenderness, I want men to be sweet, compassionate, soft. Mostly, I want men to be able to discern which moment is which and behave accordingly. I want men to hold fast to those elements that are good and right about the traditional male role—courage, loyalty, competence—but men like Bill also deserve to have access to emotion, particularly the vulnerable emotions that connect us to one another. He deserves to have more empathy for himself first of all, and for those he loves.
By the end of our long session, we all agree that Bill—or “the old Bill,” as I begin to call him—was selfish, controlling, demanding, and unhappy. He based his shaky sense of self worth on his performance, on whatever he’d amassed materially, and on his wife’s nurture. Although he’d have been loath to admit it before, Bill needed an overhaul.
“You’ve been acting in this marriage in a lot of ways as though you were still single,” I tell him. “Six hours a day at the gym, 10-hour bike rides, call girls when you travel. You need to learn to become what I call a real family man,” a term that deliberately harks back to some of the positive ideals contained in traditional notions of masculinity.
Contrary to what gender conservatives claim we feminists are after, I don’t want the men I work with to discard every aspect of masculinity. Rather, I talk to Bill about the differences between living life as a self-centered boy and living it like a family man. It’s not “repeal and replace” the entire notion of masculinity so much as “sort through, use the best, and transform the rest.”
“You played the old game: the competitive, don’t-rest-till-you-kill-them, grab-the-brass-ring game. Okay, you won at that one. Congratulations,”I say to him. “Now it’s time to learn a whole different game, different skills, different rules, if you want to stay married at least.” Bill’s nodding. He loves his wife, feels awful about how much he’s hurt her, would move mountains to keep his family intact. “Good,” I tell him.
“Because it’s mountains you’re going to have to move. This is about cultivating that wildly undeveloped part of you that you’ve actively tried to get rid of. It’s about redefining what you think constitutes “a man” and how he’s supposed to act in the world. You’ll need new skills that stress receptivity over action, like being curious about your wife, learning to be quiet and leave space for her, drawing her out, truly negotiating.” He seems game as he listens. “I’m happy for you,” I tell him. “May this day be the beginning of your new orientation, your new life.”
“Okay,” he says, a little skeptical still.
“The next time your wife wakes up in the middle of the night because she’s a wreck and she needs to talk,” I start.
“I know,” he interrupts.
“Listen,” I tell him. “Here’s your new compass. When in doubt, I want you to pause, take a breath, and then picture yourself as a generous gentleman.” Like the term family man, the opportunity for Bill to see himself as a generous gentleman offers him a model, a reference point, for giving more to his wife without feeling like she’s won and he’s lost. I repurpose a familiar ideal—gentleman—to inspire flexibility in Bill, a willingness to yield that doesn’t shame him. “The next time she wants something from you, ask yourself, What would a generous gentleman do at this moment?
Becoming a generous gentleman requires Bill to move beyond his self-centeredness into compassion and bigheartedness, moving beyond sheer logic to feelings, both his and others. It’s a good example of using a mostly abstract ideal contained within the patriarchal lexicon to help a client move beyond patriarchy itself. Did I have an in-depth discussion with Bill about Donald Trump? No, though I certainly would’ve been open to it had Bill seemed interested. But did I talk to him about patriarchy in general? About women’s changing demands for more sharing, more intimate, more connected marriages? About the state of manhood in transition, from the old to the new? And was I clear with Bill about where I stood on these issues and why? The answer is an emphatic yes on all counts.
“Bill,” I tell him. “You’re a statistic. All over America, men like you are being dragged off to people like me so that we can help you learn how to be more relational, more giving, more empathic, more vulnerable—just a more thoughtful, connected person. There are hundreds of thousands, if not millions, of Bills in offices like this one. We can’t make it all about personal failings; there are too many of you.”
Bill looks at me. “But when we go home,” he sighs, trailing off. “It’s just hard to know what she wants from me.”
“I know,” I commiserate. “This isn’t easy. But you have a wonderful source of information sitting right next to you.” Then I turn to Lydia. “Of course, you’ll have to do things differently, too,” I tell her. “At this stage in the game, you’re more comfortable giving Bill feedback about all he does wrong than vulnerably asking for what he might do right.” Like many of my female clients, Lydia had spent most of her marriage vacillating between stuffing it and losing it. For the most part, she was silent and resentful, so Bill brushed off her occasional rants as hysteria. “You told your truth when you were ready to fight with him, but you did it in a harsh, critical way, which people in general, and men in particular, won’t listen to.”
“Listen,” she says, revving up, “I tried everything under the sun to get him to hear what I was saying.”
“I’m sure that’s true,” I say. “But Lydia, that was then, and this is now. I have a saying: an angry woman is a woman who doesn’t feel heard. But pumping up the emotional volume doesn’t work. However, I think I have good news for you. I think you’ve been heard today, by Bill and by me. I understand what you’re saying I get it, and I’m on it. I want you to let me work with Bill now. I can get through to him in ways you’re not positioned to be able to do. I’m an outside party; you’re his wife.”
Over the years, I’ve found this to be an enormously helpful position to take in therapy, no matter if the therapist happens to a man or a woman. I often say to female clients like Lydia, “I’ve got him. You don’t have to be his relational coach or teacher anymore. Give that job to me. You can afford to relax and start enjoying him again.” By stepping in, acknowledging the asymmetry in their relational skills and wishes, and explicitly offering myself as her ally, I hope to help women like Lydia resign from their role as their partner’s mentor. “I’ll coach Bill,” I tell Lydia. “You breathe, relax, let your heart open up again.”
Earlier in the session, I’d said I was excited for Bill. But with Lydia at the threshold of her own relational learning on how to break the traditional feminine role of silence and anger, I’m thrilled for her, too. I’m eager to teach her how to stand up for herself with love, how to switch from statements like “I don’t like how you’re treating me!” to ones like “I want to be close to you. I want to hear what you’re saying. Could you be kinder right now so I can hear better?”
Both partners need to learn how to be more skilled. But moving each toward increased intimacy requires leaving behind the old roles for them both. Real intimacy and patriarchy are at odds with each other. To the degree that a couple approaches the former, they move beyond the latter. As the old roles seek to reassert themselves in our society, it seems more important than ever to take a stand in favor of new ones, new configurations that provide more openness in men like Bill and more loving firmness in women like Lydia.
AGENTS OF CHANGE
For years, I quipped that, as a couples therapist, I was a medic in the vast gender war, patching up men and women in order to send them back out into the fray. But in the age of Trump, I don’t want to be a neutral medic anymore. I’d rather take a stand for healthy marriages. Pathology is rarely an aberration of the norm so much as an exaggeration of it. The way Bill had routinely controlled and savaged his wife, and the way she’d reacted, with distance and occasional rage of her own, were right out of the patriarchy playbook. Could I have done the same work with them without ever referencing gender roles, or masculinity? Perhaps, but why would I want to, when silhouetting a couple’s issues against the backdrop of gender roles in transition makes so much sense to people?
In 2013, sociologist Michael Kimmel wrote Angry White Men, about a group of people many now claim make up a large part of Trump’s base. Central to Kimmel’s findings was a sense of what he called “aggrieved entitlement,” which, from a psychological perspective, looks to leave the person they’re with as much as they want to leave the person they themselves have become. And it’s not that they’re looking for another person, but another self. But even happy people cheat, and affairs aren’t always a symptom of something wrong in the marriage or in the individual.
A lot like the fusion of shame and grandiosity, a perpetual sense of angry victimhood—in a word, patriarchy. In a new work, Kimmel looks at four organizations that help deprogram men who leave hate groups like white supremacists and jihadists. What he found implicit in all these hate groups was traditional masculinity: the more rigid the vision of the masculine, and the more fervently the man held onto such rigid beliefs, the more vulnerable he was to extremist politics and violence. Countering this vision of masculinity was key to the deprogramming.
With this as our cultural context, what we therapists are being called upon to do is what the WHO has already done—explicitly declare traditional masculinity a health hazard, not just to men, but to the families who live with them. We should continue to develop techniques for openly challenging toxic patriarchal notions like the one that says harsh inner critics are good for us, or the one that says vulnerability is a sign of weakness. We need to invite each gender to reclaim and explore its wholeness, as sexy, smart, competent women, as well as bighearted, strong, vulnerable men. We must check our own biases so as not to sell men short as intrinsically less emotional, for example, or to sell women short by not explicitly helping them find a voice in their relationships that’s simultaneously assertive and cherishing.
In these troubled times, what do we clinicians stand for if not the plumb line of intimacy? But we must remember that intimacy itself is a relatively new, and contentious, demand. Marriage wasn’t historically built for intimacy in today’s terms, but for stability and production. Under patriarchy, emotional intimacy itself is coded as “feminine,” as is therapy, for that matter. The intrinsic values of therapy—communication, understanding, empathy, self-compassion, the importance of emotion—these are all downplayed as “feminine” concerns in the traditional masculine playbook.
I want us therapists to put these concerns on the table, and stand up and be counted as agents for the historically new idea of lasting, long-term intimacy, and with it the increased health and happiness that study after study has shown it leads to. I want us to be more explicit—both in public discourse and in the privacy of our offices—in articulating the painful psychological costs of the old, patriarchal world order, which is asserting itself again in our lives. Democratic relationships simply work better than hierarchical ones in marriages, and both sexes are better off liberated from the dance of contempt. It’s healing for all our clients to move beyond the core collusion and speak truth to power. It’s healing for us therapists to do the same in the presence of those who want our guidance.
We’re the people who are being turned to for help when the old ways no longer work. We can merely patch things up, or we can aim our sights on transformation and offer an entirely new vision. The path toward sustained intimacy can’t be found in the resurgence of a patriarchal past. It’s part of our job and responsibility to point our clients toward the future. If we therapists are to be true agents of healing, we must first be true agents of change.
Terry Real is a nationally recognized family therapist, author, and teacher. He is particularly known for his groundbreaking work on men and male psychology as well as his work on gender and couples; he has been in private practice for over thirty years. Terry has appeared often as the relationship expert for Good Morning America and ABC News. His work has been featured in numerous academic articles as well as media venues such as Oprah, 20/20, The Today Show, CNN, The New York Times, The Wall Street Journal, Psychology Today and many others.
This blog which originally appeared in the Psychotherapy Networker, was republished on NCCT with permission from the author.
Author: Terry Real
Check out a 2-Day Training with Terry Real of The Relational Life Institute
submitted by kerry_lusignan to u/kerry_lusignan [link] [comments]


2020.01.28 20:12 timfluencer Anybody willing to share their story as a film?

Hey yall,
Was wondering if anyone from the podcast is down to share their story through video or writeup?
I've been working mental health campaign for the past year that features people who have gotten through their illness and how they did it. For me it's such a hopeless thing that I always search for survivor stories but have a hard time finding ones I can relate to.
WHAT PROBLEM ARE WE TRYING TO SOLVE?
The news is killing people.
When we lost Robin Williams the suicide rate increased by 10%. Marilyn Monroe: 12%. When Kate Spade and Anthony Bourdain committed suicide, the hotline got 25% more calls. It's called suicide contagion, and it’s the proven link between mass media coverage of suicide and an increase in suicide rates.
Think about it. If a celebrity with more resources and success couldn’t beat it, how can anyone? It makes you feel hopeless. And hopelessness can be deadly.
With suicide rates increasing across the world, we have to do something now more than ever. Something unprecedented. We have to tell the other side of the story. Where people survive and thrive. We have to #ReportSurvival.
#ReportSurvival
#ReportSurvival is a campaign guiding news organizations to report suicide more responsibly. Whether it’s Buzzfeed, the local news, or CNN, we’ll create a media landscape where a story of someone who survived suicide follows every report of someone who didn't.
WHY SURVIVOR STORIES?
Why survivor stories?
For every person that dies by suicide, another 280 people survive. Many of whom go on to live happy, fulfilling lives. These stories of survival and perseverance hold extraordinary power. That's why they're an effective way to end suicide contagion. But don't take it from us, take it from them:
“Portraying suicide survivors rather than focusing on completed cases in the media is more effective in reducing suicide contagion.”
“Our best answers as to why suicides happen and what we can do to prevent them are not found by focusing on the one person who died by suicide, but by focusing on the living—the other 280 who survived.”
“It turns out that, although suicide can be contagious, resilience can also be contagious. And when we look at media reports that talk about people who thought about suicide but instead got help and got better, that actually rates across the population, the number of deaths that happen in a specific area, go down. And we really really want to encourage people to report in that kind of way.”
“Hearing stories from people who have survived suicide attempts is an important step in suicide prevention.”
“Their stories are not only enlightening professionals who create policies or study the subject, but they are also transmitting all important hope to those at risk."
"People see stories all the time about those surviving breast cancer, heart disease, and stroke, and we know what that recovery looks like—it helps people who are experiencing it or someone whose mom just got diagnosed. So many people go through their suicidal crisis feeling completely isolated and alone because they think they're the only ones. But they're not. There are millions of healing and recovery stories—they just haven't been shared."
Don’t survivor stories already exist?
When was the last time you saw an uplifting news story about someone who overcame suicide? Unfortunately, it’s human nature to take an interest in conflict, drama, and tragedy. As a result, the few survivor stories that are independently produced are unpromoted and low quality.
Of the content that does exist, ours will be different in several crucial ways:
  1. Relevance - Instead of one or two, we’ll feature 20 unique stories. This ensures every sufferer, no matter their experience, has something they can relate to.
  2. Quality - We’ve worked with award-winning production companies, many of whom are interested in pro-bono work. That means we’ll have the best equipment, crews, and directors to deliver quality films that distinguish our stories and engage our viewers.
  3. Compelling Content - We’ve learned storytelling at some of the world’s most renown advertising agencies and news organizations. Given our experience, we’re confident we can create films that are enthralling, concise, and effective.
  4. Understanding We understand these issues because we’ve been victims of them. Whether it’s suicide, suicide contagion, or depression, the videos we’re creating are films we wish existed when we felt lost and hopeless.
  5. Casting - Finding the right people is essential. Without a good story, we don’t have a film worth making. That’s why we won’t proceed until we’re completely satisfied.
  6. Link to Treatment - This is about more than hope. It’s about action and lasting change. That’s why we’re putting emphasis on how suicide survivors got through it, giving concrete examples of how others can too. Each film will link to treatment options and affordable resources to help people take the next step and get the help they so desperately need.
HOW WILL THIS WORK?
For this to work, we need news organizations to see these survivor stories and make a commitment to #ReportSurvival. Here’s why it will happen:
  1. It’s nothing new: Media guidelines for how to report suicide already exist. The most effective being the suicide prevention hotline. Problem is, suicide contagion is only getting worse. This makes #ReportSurvival a simple, yet essential evolution of these guidelines.
  2. We made it simple: We'll make the survivor films ourselves. All they’ll have to do is link to the film. That's one line of text alongside the suicide prevention hotline number. It’s that easy.
  3. Broadcast quality: Our films will be as compelling and well produced as any broadcast segment.
  4. Variety: With 20 different films, news outlets won’t have to worry about covering the same story.
  5. Pre-launch partnership: We’ll partner with a news organization beforehand. When we launch they'll pledge to #ReportSurvival, which ensures others will follow.
  6. PR: A well-executed PR plan is essential. In the absence of one, our survivor stories will get lost in a clutter of internet content. Our experience pitching blogs and acquiring earned media will ensure people and news organizations won’t miss our efforts.
  7. Legitimacy: Along the way, we'll get endorsements from mental health organizations like NAMI and influencers like Michael Phelps.
  8. They already care: Unlike the rest of the world, reporters are well aware of suicide contagion. #ReportSurvival is a chance for them to help end a life or death issue they’re painfully aware of.
With that, let’s go over how this works executionally.
  1. Pre-Launch: The Stories
Casting
First things first. We’ll partner with a casting agency to help us find the most moving survivor stories. At the same time, we’ll tap into our own networks to cast an even wider net.
Production
To ensure viewers have a story they can relate to, we'll produce 20 films. Each will represent a different gender, sexuality, race, age, trauma, or treatment. That means 300 million people who’re suffering from depression will finally have access to stories they can relate to.
Partnerships
The more help we can get the better. Whether it’s non-profits with funding, individuals with feedback, or production partners with time and equipment, we’ll take whatever we can get.
2) Pre-Launch: #ReportSurvival
Influencers
Although it’s not essential, influencers have helped spark some of the most successful social movements in the digital age. Movements like #MeToo, Obama’s “Change” campaign, and the Ice Bucket Challenge dominated the internet because of influencer support.
Given this issue's importance, our connections, and how unaware people are, we believe we can recruit some of the world’s most influential people. Celebrities with their own survivor stories in all areas of life. Oprah, Michael Phelps, Ted Turner, Prince Harry, and J.K. Rowling are just a few examples of influencers who are just as passionate as we are.
Bring on the News
As proven with the existing suicide guidelines when one news organization commits to change, the rest join. Doesn’t matter if it’s Fox News or MSNBC, they all want to help end suicide contagion. So as we previously mentioned, we’ll partner with an organization beforehand.
3) Launch
Wait for it
Every high profile suicide has lead to record-breaking global awareness, but very little action or change. By launching our campaign in reaction to the next widely publicized high profile suicide, we’ll turn awareness into action.
WHO ARE WE?
I’m Tim
I spent the last 6 years working at Ogilvy & Mather. While there, I executed campaigns for American Express, British Airways, Coke Zero, ThinkPad, and Qualcomm.
I know what it's like to feel hopeless. I know suicide contagion exists because I was almost a victim of it. And I know how discouraging it is to see countless stories of people who gave up, but none of the people who beat it.
That’s why this isn’t something I want to do. This is something I will do.
The Agency
My digital media company GUSH specializes in social media campaigns and PR-worthy executions. Part of our business is applying our digital, social, and PR skills to end the mental health crisis.
DO YOU HAVE A STORY?
We'd love to hear and potentially feature it to help launch the project!
submitted by timfluencer to mentalpod [link] [comments]


2020.01.28 19:55 timfluencer REPOST: What has helped you cope?

Trying to get people's thoughts on a mental health awareness campaign I've been working on for the past year that features people who have gotten through their illness and how. It feels like such a hopeless thing that I always search feel these stories but have a hard time finding ones I can relate to.
WHAT PROBLEM ARE WE TRYING TO SOLVE?
The news is killing people.
When we lost Robin Williams the suicide rate increased by 10%. Marilyn Monroe: 12%. When Kate Spade and Anthony Bourdain committed suicide, the hotline got 25% more calls. It's called suicide contagion, and it’s the proven link between mass media coverage of suicide and an increase in suicide rates.
Think about it. If a celebrity with more resources and success couldn’t beat it, how can anyone? It makes you feel hopeless. And hopelessness can be deadly.
With suicide rates increasing across the world, we have to do something now more than ever. Something unprecedented. We have to tell the other side of the story. Where people survive and thrive. We have to #ReportSurvival.
#ReportSurvival
#ReportSurvival is a campaign guiding news organizations to report suicide more responsibly. Whether it’s Buzzfeed, the local news, or CNN, we’ll create a media landscape where a story of someone who survived suicide follows every report of someone who didn't.
WHY SURVIVOR STORIES?
Why survivor stories?
For every person that dies by suicide, another 280 people survive. Many of whom go on to live happy, fulfilling lives. These stories of survival and perseverance hold extraordinary power. That's why they're an effective way to end suicide contagion. But don't take it from us, take it from them:
“Portraying suicide survivors rather than focusing on completed cases in the media is more effective in reducing suicide contagion.”
“Our best answers as to why suicides happen and what we can do to prevent them are not found by focusing on the one person who died by suicide, but by focusing on the living—the other 280 who survived.”
“It turns out that, although suicide can be contagious, resilience can also be contagious. And when we look at media reports that talk about people who thought about suicide but instead got help and got better, that actually rates across the population, the number of deaths that happen in a specific area, go down. And we really really want to encourage people to report in that kind of way.”
“Hearing stories from people who have survived suicide attempts is an important step in suicide prevention.”
“Their stories are not only enlightening professionals who create policies or study the subject, but they are also transmitting all important hope to those at risk."
"People see stories all the time about those surviving breast cancer, heart disease, and stroke, and we know what that recovery looks like—it helps people who are experiencing it or someone whose mom just got diagnosed. So many people go through their suicidal crisis feeling completely isolated and alone because they think they're the only ones. But they're not. There are millions of healing and recovery stories—they just haven't been shared."
Don’t survivor stories already exist?
When was the last time you saw an uplifting news story about someone who overcame suicide? Unfortunately, it’s human nature to take an interest in conflict, drama, and tragedy. As a result, the few survivor stories that are independently produced are unpromoted and low quality.
Of the content that does exist, ours will be different in several crucial ways:
  1. Relevance - Instead of one or two, we’ll feature 20 unique stories. This ensures every sufferer, no matter their experience, has something they can relate to.
  2. Quality - We’ve worked with award-winning production companies, many of whom are interested in pro-bono work. That means we’ll have the best equipment, crews, and directors to deliver quality films that distinguish our stories and engage our viewers.
  3. Compelling Content - We’ve learned storytelling at some of the world’s most renown advertising agencies and news organizations. Given our experience, we’re confident we can create films that are enthralling, concise, and effective.
  4. Understanding We understand these issues because we’ve been victims of them. Whether it’s suicide, suicide contagion, or depression, the videos we’re creating are films we wish existed when we felt lost and hopeless.
  5. Casting - Finding the right people is essential. Without a good story, we don’t have a film worth making. That’s why we won’t proceed until we’re completely satisfied.
  6. Link to Treatment - This is about more than hope. It’s about action and lasting change. That’s why we’re putting emphasis on how suicide survivors got through it, giving concrete examples of how others can too. Each film will link to treatment options and affordable resources to help people take the next step and get the help they so desperately need.
HOW WILL THIS WORK?
For this to work, we need news organizations to see these survivor stories and make a commitment to #ReportSurvival. Here’s why it will happen:
  1. It’s nothing new: Media guidelines for how to report suicide already exist. The most effective being the suicide prevention hotline. Problem is, suicide contagion is only getting worse. This makes #ReportSurvival a simple, yet essential evolution of these guidelines.
  2. We made it simple: We'll make the survivor films ourselves. All they’ll have to do is link to the film. That's one line of text alongside the suicide prevention hotline number. It’s that easy.
  3. Broadcast quality: Our films will be as compelling and well produced as any broadcast segment.
  4. Variety: With 20 different films, news outlets won’t have to worry about covering the same story.
  5. Pre-launch partnership: We’ll partner with a news organization beforehand. When we launch they'll pledge to #ReportSurvival, which ensures others will follow.
  6. PR: A well-executed PR plan is essential. In the absence of one, our survivor stories will get lost in a clutter of internet content. Our experience pitching blogs and acquiring earned media will ensure people and news organizations won’t miss our efforts.
  7. Legitimacy: Along the way, we'll get endorsements from mental health organizations like NAMI and influencers like Michael Phelps.
  8. They already care: Unlike the rest of the world, reporters are well aware of suicide contagion. #ReportSurvival is a chance for them to help end a life or death issue they’re painfully aware of.
With that, let’s go over how this works executionally.
  1. Pre-Launch: The Stories
Casting
First things first. We’ll partner with a casting agency to help us find the most moving survivor stories. At the same time, we’ll tap into our own networks to cast an even wider net.
Production
To ensure viewers have a story they can relate to, we'll produce 20 films. Each will represent a different gender, sexuality, race, age, trauma, or treatment. That means 300 million people who’re suffering from depression will finally have access to stories they can relate to.
Partnerships
The more help we can get the better. Whether it’s non-profits with funding, individuals with feedback, or production partners with time and equipment, we’ll take whatever we can get.
2) Pre-Launch: #ReportSurvival
Influencers
Although it’s not essential, influencers have helped spark some of the most successful social movements in the digital age. Movements like #MeToo, Obama’s “Change” campaign, and the Ice Bucket Challenge dominated the internet because of influencer support.
Given this issue's importance, our connections, and how unaware people are, we believe we can recruit some of the world’s most influential people. Celebrities with their own survivor stories in all areas of life. Oprah, Michael Phelps, Ted Turner, Prince Harry, and J.K. Rowling are just a few examples of influencers who are just as passionate as we are.
Bring on the News
As proven with the existing suicide guidelines when one news organization commits to change, the rest join. Doesn’t matter if it’s Fox News or MSNBC, they all want to help end suicide contagion. So as we previously mentioned, we’ll partner with an organization beforehand.
3) Launch
Wait for it
Every high profile suicide has lead to record-breaking global awareness, but very little action or change. By launching our campaign in reaction to the next widely publicized high profile suicide, we’ll turn awareness into action.
WHO ARE WE?
I’m Tim
I spent the last 6 years working at Ogilvy & Mather. While there, I executed campaigns for American Express, British Airways, Coke Zero, ThinkPad, and Qualcomm.
I know what it's like to feel hopeless. I know suicide contagion exists because I was almost a victim of it. And I know how discouraging it is to see countless stories of people who gave up, but none of the people who beat it.
That’s why this isn’t something I want to do. This is something I will do.
The Agency
My digital media company GUSH specializes in social media campaigns and PR-worthy executions. Part of our business is applying our digital, social, and PR skills to end the mental health crisis.
DO YOU HAVE A STORY?
We'd love to hear and potentially feature it to help launch the project!
submitted by timfluencer to mentalhealth [link] [comments]


2020.01.28 19:25 timfluencer What has helped you cope?

REPOST
Hey yall,
I'd love to get your thoughts on a mental health awareness campaign I've been working on for the past year. If you're interested in participating, even better.
WHAT PROBLEM ARE WE TRYING TO SOLVE?
The news is killing people.
When we lost Robin Williams the suicide rate increased by 10%. Marilyn Monroe: 12%. When Kate Spade and Anthony Bourdain committed suicide, the hotline got 25% more calls. It's called suicide contagion, and it’s the proven link between mass media coverage of suicide and an increase in suicide rates.
Think about it. If a celebrity with more resources and success couldn’t beat it, how can anyone? It makes you feel hopeless. And hopelessness can be deadly.
With suicide rates increasing across the world, we have to do something now more than ever. Something unprecedented. We have to tell the other side of the story. Where people survive and thrive. We have to #ReportSurvival.
#ReportSurvival
#ReportSurvival is a campaign guiding news organizations to report suicide more responsibly. Whether it’s Buzzfeed, the local news, or CNN, we’ll create a media landscape where a story of someone who survived suicide follows every report of someone who didn't.
WHY SURVIVOR STORIES?
Why survivor stories?
For every person that dies by suicide, another 280 people survive. Many of whom go on to live happy, fulfilling lives. These stories of survival and perseverance hold extraordinary power. That's why they're an effective way to end suicide contagion. But don't take it from us, take it from them:
“Portraying suicide survivors rather than focusing on completed cases in the media is more effective in reducing suicide contagion.”
“Our best answers as to why suicides happen and what we can do to prevent them are not found by focusing on the one person who died by suicide, but by focusing on the living—the other 280 who survived.”
“It turns out that, although suicide can be contagious, resilience can also be contagious. And when we look at media reports that talk about people who thought about suicide but instead got help and got better, that actually rates across the population, the number of deaths that happen in a specific area, go down. And we really really want to encourage people to report in that kind of way.”
“Hearing stories from people who have survived suicide attempts is an important step in suicide prevention.”
“Their stories are not only enlightening professionals who create policies or study the subject, but they are also transmitting all important hope to those at risk."
"People see stories all the time about those surviving breast cancer, heart disease, and stroke, and we know what that recovery looks like—it helps people who are experiencing it or someone whose mom just got diagnosed. So many people go through their suicidal crisis feeling completely isolated and alone because they think they're the only ones. But they're not. There are millions of healing and recovery stories—they just haven't been shared."
Don’t survivor stories already exist?
When was the last time you saw an uplifting news story about someone who overcame suicide? Unfortunately, it’s human nature to take an interest in conflict, drama, and tragedy. As a result, the few survivor stories that are independently produced are unpromoted and low quality.
Of the content that does exist, ours will be different in several crucial ways:
  1. Relevance - Instead of one or two, we’ll feature 20 unique stories. This ensures every sufferer, no matter their experience, has something they can relate to.
  2. Quality - We’ve worked with award-winning production companies, many of whom are interested in pro-bono work. That means we’ll have the best equipment, crews, and directors to deliver quality films that distinguish our stories and engage our viewers.
  3. Compelling Content - We’ve learned storytelling at some of the world’s most renown advertising agencies and news organizations. Given our experience, we’re confident we can create films that are enthralling, concise, and effective.
  4. Understanding We understand these issues because we’ve been victims of them. Whether it’s suicide, suicide contagion, or depression, the videos we’re creating are films we wish existed when we felt lost and hopeless.
  5. Casting - Finding the right people is essential. Without a good story, we don’t have a film worth making. That’s why we won’t proceed until we’re completely satisfied.
  6. Link to Treatment - This is about more than hope. It’s about action and lasting change. That’s why we’re putting emphasis on how suicide survivors got through it, giving concrete examples of how others can too. Each film will link to treatment options and affordable resources to help people take the next step and get the help they so desperately need.
HOW WILL THIS WORK?
For this to work, we need news organizations to see these survivor stories and make a commitment to #ReportSurvival. Here’s why it will happen:
  1. It’s nothing new: Media guidelines for how to report suicide already exist. The most effective being the suicide prevention hotline. Problem is, suicide contagion is only getting worse. This makes #ReportSurvival a simple, yet essential evolution of these guidelines.
  2. We made it simple: We'll make the survivor films ourselves. All they’ll have to do is link to the film. That's one line of text alongside the suicide prevention hotline number. It’s that easy.
  3. Broadcast quality: Our films will be as compelling and well produced as any broadcast segment.
  4. Variety: With 20 different films, news outlets won’t have to worry about covering the same story.
  5. Pre-launch partnership: We’ll partner with a news organization beforehand. When we launch they'll pledge to #ReportSurvival, which ensures others will follow.
  6. PR: A well-executed PR plan is essential. In the absence of one, our survivor stories will get lost in a clutter of internet content. Our experience pitching blogs and acquiring earned media will ensure people and news organizations won’t miss our efforts.
  7. Legitimacy: Along the way, we'll get endorsements from mental health organizations like NAMI and influencers like Michael Phelps.
  8. They already care: Unlike the rest of the world, reporters are well aware of suicide contagion. #ReportSurvival is a chance for them to help end a life or death issue they’re painfully aware of.
With that, let’s go over how this works executionally.
  1. Pre-Launch: The Stories
Casting
First things first. We’ll partner with a casting agency to help us find the most moving survivor stories. At the same time, we’ll tap into our own networks to cast an even wider net.
Production
To ensure viewers have a story they can relate to, we'll produce 20 films. Each will represent a different gender, sexuality, race, age, trauma, or treatment. That means 300 million people who’re suffering from depression will finally have access to stories they can relate to.
Partnerships
The more help we can get the better. Whether it’s non-profits with funding, individuals with feedback, or production partners with time and equipment, we’ll take whatever we can get.
2) Pre-Launch: #ReportSurvival
Influencers
Although it’s not essential, influencers have helped spark some of the most successful social movements in the digital age. Movements like #MeToo, Obama’s “Change” campaign, and the Ice Bucket Challenge dominated the internet because of influencer support.
Given this issue's importance, our connections, and how unaware people are, we believe we can recruit some of the world’s most influential people. Celebrities with their own survivor stories in all areas of life. Oprah, Michael Phelps, Ted Turner, Prince Harry, and J.K. Rowling are just a few examples of influencers who are just as passionate as we are.
Bring on the News
As proven with the existing suicide guidelines when one news organization commits to change, the rest join. Doesn’t matter if it’s Fox News or MSNBC, they all want to help end suicide contagion. So as we previously mentioned, we’ll partner with an organization beforehand.
3) Launch
Wait for it
Every high profile suicide has lead to record-breaking global awareness, but very little action or change. By launching our campaign in reaction to the next widely publicized high profile suicide, we’ll turn awareness into action.
WHO ARE WE?
I’m Tim
I spent the last 6 years working at Ogilvy & Mather. While there, I executed campaigns for American Express, British Airways, Coke Zero, ThinkPad, and Qualcomm.
I know what it's like to feel hopeless. I know suicide contagion exists because I was almost a victim of it. And I know how discouraging it is to see countless stories of people who gave up, but none of the people who beat it.
That’s why this isn’t something I want to do. This is something I will do.
The Agency
My digital media company GUSH specializes in social media campaigns and PR-worthy executions. Part of our business is applying our digital, social, and PR skills to end the mental health crisis.
DO YOU HAVE A STORY?
We'd love to hear and potentially feature it to help launch the project!
submitted by timfluencer to HealthAnxiety [link] [comments]


2020.01.27 22:06 timfluencer Who has actually gotten better?

REPOST
Hey yall,
I'd love to get your thoughts on a mental health awareness campaign I've been working on for the past year. If you're interested in participating, even better.
WHAT PROBLEM ARE WE TRYING TO SOLVE?
The news is killing people.
When we lost Robin Williams the suicide rate increased by 10%. Marilyn Monroe: 12%. When Kate Spade and Anthony Bourdain committed suicide, the hotline got 25% more calls. It's called suicide contagion, and it’s the proven link between mass media coverage of suicide and an increase in suicide rates.
Think about it. If a celebrity with more resources and success couldn’t beat it, how can anyone? It makes you feel hopeless. And hopelessness can be deadly.
With suicide rates increasing across the world, we have to do something now more than ever. Something unprecedented. We have to tell the other side of the story. Where people survive and thrive. We have to #ReportSurvival.
#ReportSurvival
#ReportSurvival is a campaign guiding news organizations to report suicide more responsibly. Whether it’s Buzzfeed, the local news, or CNN, we’ll create a media landscape where a story of someone who survived suicide follows every report of someone who didn't.
WHY SURVIVOR STORIES?
Why survivor stories?
For every person that dies by suicide, another 280 people survive. Many of whom go on to live happy, fulfilling lives. These stories of survival and perseverance hold extraordinary power. That's why they're an effective way to end suicide contagion. But don't take it from us, take it from them:
“Portraying suicide survivors rather than focusing on completed cases in the media is more effective in reducing suicide contagion.”
“Our best answers as to why suicides happen and what we can do to prevent them are not found by focusing on the one person who died by suicide, but by focusing on the living—the other 280 who survived.”
“It turns out that, although suicide can be contagious, resilience can also be contagious. And when we look at media reports that talk about people who thought about suicide but instead got help and got better, that actually rates across the population, the number of deaths that happen in a specific area, go down. And we really really want to encourage people to report in that kind of way.”
“Hearing stories from people who have survived suicide attempts is an important step in suicide prevention.”
“Their stories are not only enlightening professionals who create policies or study the subject, but they are also transmitting all important hope to those at risk."
"People see stories all the time about those surviving breast cancer, heart disease, and stroke, and we know what that recovery looks like—it helps people who are experiencing it or someone whose mom just got diagnosed. So many people go through their suicidal crisis feeling completely isolated and alone because they think they're the only ones. But they're not. There are millions of healing and recovery stories—they just haven't been shared."
Don’t survivor stories already exist?
When was the last time you saw an uplifting news story about someone who overcame suicide? Unfortunately, it’s human nature to take an interest in conflict, drama, and tragedy. As a result, the few survivor stories that are independently produced are unpromoted and low quality.
Of the content that does exist, ours will be different in several crucial ways:
  1. Relevance - Instead of one or two, we’ll feature 20 unique stories. This ensures every sufferer, no matter their experience, has something they can relate to.
  2. Quality - We’ve worked with award-winning production companies, many of whom are interested in pro-bono work. That means we’ll have the best equipment, crews, and directors to deliver quality films that distinguish our stories and engage our viewers.
  3. Compelling Content - We’ve learned storytelling at some of the world’s most renown advertising agencies and news organizations. Given our experience, we’re confident we can create films that are enthralling, concise, and effective.
  4. Understanding We understand these issues because we’ve been victims of them. Whether it’s suicide, suicide contagion, or depression, the videos we’re creating are films we wish existed when we felt lost and hopeless.
  5. Casting - Finding the right people is essential. Without a good story, we don’t have a film worth making. That’s why we won’t proceed until we’re completely satisfied.
  6. Link to Treatment - This is about more than hope. It’s about action and lasting change. That’s why we’re putting emphasis on how suicide survivors got through it, giving concrete examples of how others can too. Each film will link to treatment options and affordable resources to help people take the next step and get the help they so desperately need.
HOW WILL THIS WORK?
For this to work, we need news organizations to see these survivor stories and make a commitment to #ReportSurvival. Here’s why it will happen:
  1. It’s nothing new: Media guidelines for how to report suicide already exist. The most effective being the suicide prevention hotline. Problem is, suicide contagion is only getting worse. This makes #ReportSurvival a simple, yet essential evolution of these guidelines.
  2. We made it simple: We'll make the survivor films ourselves. All they’ll have to do is link to the film. That's one line of text alongside the suicide prevention hotline number. It’s that easy.
  3. Broadcast quality: Our films will be as compelling and well produced as any broadcast segment.
  4. Variety: With 20 different films, news outlets won’t have to worry about covering the same story.
  5. Pre-launch partnership: We’ll partner with a news organization beforehand. When we launch they'll pledge to #ReportSurvival, which ensures others will follow.
  6. PR: A well-executed PR plan is essential. In the absence of one, our survivor stories will get lost in a clutter of internet content. Our experience pitching blogs and acquiring earned media will ensure people and news organizations won’t miss our efforts.
  7. Legitimacy: Along the way, we'll get endorsements from mental health organizations like NAMI and influencers like Michael Phelps.
  8. They already care: Unlike the rest of the world, reporters are well aware of suicide contagion. #ReportSurvival is a chance for them to help end a life or death issue they’re painfully aware of.
With that, let’s go over how this works executionally.
  1. Pre-Launch: The Stories
Casting
First things first. We’ll partner with a casting agency to help us find the most moving survivor stories. At the same time, we’ll tap into our own networks to cast an even wider net.
Production
To ensure viewers have a story they can relate to, we'll produce 20 films. Each will represent a different gender, sexuality, race, age, trauma, or treatment. That means 300 million people who’re suffering from depression will finally have access to stories they can relate to.
Partnerships
The more help we can get the better. Whether it’s non-profits with funding, individuals with feedback, or production partners with time and equipment, we’ll take whatever we can get.
2) Pre-Launch: #ReportSurvival
Influencers
Although it’s not essential, influencers have helped spark some of the most successful social movements in the digital age. Movements like #MeToo, Obama’s “Change” campaign, and the Ice Bucket Challenge dominated the internet because of influencer support.
Given this issue's importance, our connections, and how unaware people are, we believe we can recruit some of the world’s most influential people. Celebrities with their own survivor stories in all areas of life. Oprah, Michael Phelps, Ted Turner, Prince Harry, and J.K. Rowling are just a few examples of influencers who are just as passionate as we are.
Bring on the News
As proven with the existing suicide guidelines when one news organization commits to change, the rest join. Doesn’t matter if it’s Fox News or MSNBC, they all want to help end suicide contagion. So as we previously mentioned, we’ll partner with an organization beforehand.
3) Launch
Wait for it
Every high profile suicide has lead to record-breaking global awareness, but very little action or change. By launching our campaign in reaction to the next widely publicized high profile suicide, we’ll turn awareness into action.
WHO ARE WE?
I’m Tim
I spent the last 6 years working at Ogilvy & Mather. While there, I executed campaigns for American Express, British Airways, Coke Zero, ThinkPad, and Qualcomm.
I know what it's like to feel hopeless. I know suicide contagion exists because I was almost a victim of it. And I know how discouraging it is to see countless stories of people who gave up, but none of the people who beat it.
That’s why this isn’t something I want to do. This is something I will do.
The Agency
My digital media company GUSH specializes in social media campaigns and PR-worthy executions. Part of our business is applying our digital, social, and PR skills to end the mental health crisis.
DO YOU HAVE A STORY?
We'd love to hear and potentially feature it to help launch the project!
submitted by timfluencer to itgetsbetter [link] [comments]


2020.01.24 22:00 timfluencer Would stories of people who got through it give you hope?

REPOST
Hey yall,
I'd love to get your thoughts on a mental health awareness campaign I've been working on for the past year. If you're interested in participating, even better.
WHAT PROBLEM ARE WE TRYING TO SOLVE?
The news is killing people.
When we lost Robin Williams the suicide rate increased by 10%. Marilyn Monroe: 12%. When Kate Spade and Anthony Bourdain committed suicide, the hotline got 25% more calls. It's called suicide contagion, and it’s the proven link between mass media coverage of suicide and an increase in suicide rates.
Think about it. If a celebrity with more resources and success couldn’t beat it, how can anyone? It makes you feel hopeless. And hopelessness can be deadly.
With suicide rates increasing across the world, we have to do something now more than ever. Something unprecedented. We have to tell the other side of the story. Where people survive and thrive. We have to #ReportSurvival.
#ReportSurvival
#ReportSurvival is a campaign guiding news organizations to report suicide more responsibly. Whether it’s Buzzfeed, the local news, or CNN, we’ll create a media landscape where a story of someone who survived suicide follows every report of someone who didn't.
WHY SURVIVOR STORIES?
Why survivor stories?
For every person that dies by suicide, another 280 people survive. Many of whom go on to live happy, fulfilling lives. These stories of survival and perseverance hold extraordinary power. That's why they're an effective way to end suicide contagion. But don't take it from us, take it from them:
“Portraying suicide survivors rather than focusing on completed cases in the media is more effective in reducing suicide contagion.”
“Our best answers as to why suicides happen and what we can do to prevent them are not found by focusing on the one person who died by suicide, but by focusing on the living—the other 280 who survived.”
“It turns out that, although suicide can be contagious, resilience can also be contagious. And when we look at media reports that talk about people who thought about suicide but instead got help and got better, that actually rates across the population, the number of deaths that happen in a specific area, go down. And we really really want to encourage people to report in that kind of way.”
“Hearing stories from people who have survived suicide attempts is an important step in suicide prevention.”
“Their stories are not only enlightening professionals who create policies or study the subject, but they are also transmitting all important hope to those at risk."
"People see stories all the time about those surviving breast cancer, heart disease, and stroke, and we know what that recovery looks like—it helps people who are experiencing it or someone whose mom just got diagnosed. So many people go through their suicidal crisis feeling completely isolated and alone because they think they're the only ones. But they're not. There are millions of healing and recovery stories—they just haven't been shared."
Don’t survivor stories already exist?
When was the last time you saw an uplifting news story about someone who overcame suicide? Unfortunately, it’s human nature to take an interest in conflict, drama, and tragedy. As a result, the few survivor stories that are independently produced are unpromoted and low quality.
Of the content that does exist, ours will be different in several crucial ways:
  1. Relevance - Instead of one or two, we’ll feature 20 unique stories. This ensures every sufferer, no matter their experience, has something they can relate to.
  2. Quality - We’ve worked with award-winning production companies, many of whom are interested in pro-bono work. That means we’ll have the best equipment, crews, and directors to deliver quality films that distinguish our stories and engage our viewers.
  3. Compelling Content - We’ve learned storytelling at some of the world’s most renown advertising agencies and news organizations. Given our experience, we’re confident we can create films that are enthralling, concise, and effective.
  4. Understanding We understand these issues because we’ve been victims of them. Whether it’s suicide, suicide contagion, or depression, the videos we’re creating are films we wish existed when we felt lost and hopeless.
  5. Casting - Finding the right people is essential. Without a good story, we don’t have a film worth making. That’s why we won’t proceed until we’re completely satisfied.
  6. Link to Treatment - This is about more than hope. It’s about action and lasting change. That’s why we’re putting emphasis on how suicide survivors got through it, giving concrete examples of how others can too. Each film will link to treatment options and affordable resources to help people take the next step and get the help they so desperately need.
HOW WILL THIS WORK?
For this to work, we need news organizations to see these survivor stories and make a commitment to #ReportSurvival. Here’s why it will happen:
  1. It’s nothing new: Media guidelines for how to report suicide already exist. The most effective being the suicide prevention hotline. Problem is, suicide contagion is only getting worse. This makes #ReportSurvival a simple, yet essential evolution of these guidelines.
  2. We made it simple: We'll make the survivor films ourselves. All they’ll have to do is link to the film. That's one line of text alongside the suicide prevention hotline number. It’s that easy.
  3. Broadcast quality: Our films will be as compelling and well produced as any broadcast segment.
  4. Variety: With 20 different films, news outlets won’t have to worry about covering the same story.
  5. Pre-launch partnership: We’ll partner with a news organization beforehand. When we launch they'll pledge to #ReportSurvival, which ensures others will follow.
  6. PR: A well-executed PR plan is essential. In the absence of one, our survivor stories will get lost in a clutter of internet content. Our experience pitching blogs and acquiring earned media will ensure people and news organizations won’t miss our efforts.
  7. Legitimacy: Along the way, we'll get endorsements from mental health organizations like NAMI and influencers like Michael Phelps.
  8. They already care: Unlike the rest of the world, reporters are well aware of suicide contagion. #ReportSurvival is a chance for them to help end a life or death issue they’re painfully aware of.
With that, let’s go over how this works executionally.
  1. Pre-Launch: The Stories
Casting
First things first. We’ll partner with a casting agency to help us find the most moving survivor stories. At the same time, we’ll tap into our own networks to cast an even wider net.
Production
To ensure viewers have a story they can relate to, we'll produce 20 films. Each will represent a different gender, sexuality, race, age, trauma, or treatment. That means 300 million people who’re suffering from depression will finally have access to stories they can relate to.
Partnerships
The more help we can get the better. Whether it’s non-profits with funding, individuals with feedback, or production partners with time and equipment, we’ll take whatever we can get.
2) Pre-Launch: #ReportSurvival
Influencers
Although it’s not essential, influencers have helped spark some of the most successful social movements in the digital age. Movements like #MeToo, Obama’s “Change” campaign, and the Ice Bucket Challenge dominated the internet because of influencer support.
Given this issue's importance, our connections, and how unaware people are, we believe we can recruit some of the world’s most influential people. Celebrities with their own survivor stories in all areas of life. Oprah, Michael Phelps, Ted Turner, Prince Harry, and J.K. Rowling are just a few examples of influencers who are just as passionate as we are.
Bring on the News
As proven with the existing suicide guidelines when one news organization commits to change, the rest join. Doesn’t matter if it’s Fox News or MSNBC, they all want to help end suicide contagion. So as we previously mentioned, we’ll partner with an organization beforehand.
3) Launch
Wait for it
Every high profile suicide has lead to record-breaking global awareness, but very little action or change. By launching our campaign in reaction to the next widely publicized high profile suicide, we’ll turn awareness into action.
WHO ARE WE?
I’m Tim
I spent the last 6 years working at Ogilvy & Mather. While there, I executed campaigns for American Express, British Airways, Coke Zero, ThinkPad, and Qualcomm.
I know what it's like to feel hopeless. I know suicide contagion exists because I was almost a victim of it. And I know how discouraging it is to see countless stories of people who gave up, but none of the people who beat it.
That’s why this isn’t something I want to do. This is something I will do.
The Agency
My digital media company GUSH specializes in social media campaigns and PR-worthy executions. Part of our business is applying our digital, social, and PR skills to end the mental health crisis.
DO YOU HAVE A STORY?
We'd love to hear and potentially feature it to help launch the project!
submitted by timfluencer to getting_over_it [link] [comments]


2020.01.24 21:29 timfluencer Have you gotten better? (apologies if this doesn't fit the sub)

REPOST
Hey yall,
I'd love to get your thoughts on a mental health awareness campaign I've been working on for the past year. If you're interested in participating, even better.
WHAT PROBLEM ARE WE TRYING TO SOLVE?
The news is killing people.
When we lost Robin Williams the suicide rate increased by 10%. Marilyn Monroe: 12%. When Kate Spade and Anthony Bourdain committed suicide, the hotline got 25% more calls. It's called suicide contagion, and it’s the proven link between mass media coverage of suicide and an increase in suicide rates.
Think about it. If a celebrity with more resources and success couldn’t beat it, how can anyone? It makes you feel hopeless. And hopelessness can be deadly.
With suicide rates increasing across the world, we have to do something now more than ever. Something unprecedented. We have to tell the other side of the story. Where people survive and thrive. We have to #ReportSurvival.
#ReportSurvival
#ReportSurvival is a campaign guiding news organizations to report suicide more responsibly. Whether it’s Buzzfeed, the local news, or CNN, we’ll create a media landscape where a story of someone who survived suicide follows every report of someone who didn't.
WHY SURVIVOR STORIES?
Why survivor stories?
For every person that dies by suicide, another 280 people survive. Many of whom go on to live happy, fulfilling lives. These stories of survival and perseverance hold extraordinary power. That's why they're an effective way to end suicide contagion. But don't take it from us, take it from them:
“Portraying suicide survivors rather than focusing on completed cases in the media is more effective in reducing suicide contagion.”
“Our best answers as to why suicides happen and what we can do to prevent them are not found by focusing on the one person who died by suicide, but by focusing on the living—the other 280 who survived.”
“It turns out that, although suicide can be contagious, resilience can also be contagious. And when we look at media reports that talk about people who thought about suicide but instead got help and got better, that actually rates across the population, the number of deaths that happen in a specific area, go down. And we really really want to encourage people to report in that kind of way.”
“Hearing stories from people who have survived suicide attempts is an important step in suicide prevention.”
“Their stories are not only enlightening professionals who create policies or study the subject, but they are also transmitting all important hope to those at risk."
"People see stories all the time about those surviving breast cancer, heart disease, and stroke, and we know what that recovery looks like—it helps people who are experiencing it or someone whose mom just got diagnosed. So many people go through their suicidal crisis feeling completely isolated and alone because they think they're the only ones. But they're not. There are millions of healing and recovery stories—they just haven't been shared."
Don’t survivor stories already exist?
When was the last time you saw an uplifting news story about someone who overcame suicide? Unfortunately, it’s human nature to take an interest in conflict, drama, and tragedy. As a result, the few survivor stories that are independently produced are unpromoted and low quality.
Of the content that does exist, ours will be different in several crucial ways:
  1. Relevance - Instead of one or two, we’ll feature 20 unique stories. This ensures every sufferer, no matter their experience, has something they can relate to.
  2. Quality - We’ve worked with award-winning production companies, many of whom are interested in pro-bono work. That means we’ll have the best equipment, crews, and directors to deliver quality films that distinguish our stories and engage our viewers.
  3. Compelling Content - We’ve learned storytelling at some of the world’s most renown advertising agencies and news organizations. Given our experience, we’re confident we can create films that are enthralling, concise, and effective.
  4. Understanding We understand these issues because we’ve been victims of them. Whether it’s suicide, suicide contagion, or depression, the videos we’re creating are films we wish existed when we felt lost and hopeless.
  5. Casting - Finding the right people is essential. Without a good story, we don’t have a film worth making. That’s why we won’t proceed until we’re completely satisfied.
  6. Link to Treatment - This is about more than hope. It’s about action and lasting change. That’s why we’re putting emphasis on how suicide survivors got through it, giving concrete examples of how others can too. Each film will link to treatment options and affordable resources to help people take the next step and get the help they so desperately need.
HOW WILL THIS WORK?
For this to work, we need news organizations to see these survivor stories and make a commitment to #ReportSurvival. Here’s why it will happen:
  1. It’s nothing new: Media guidelines for how to report suicide already exist. The most effective being the suicide prevention hotline. Problem is, suicide contagion is only getting worse. This makes #ReportSurvival a simple, yet essential evolution of these guidelines.
  2. We made it simple: We'll make the survivor films ourselves. All they’ll have to do is link to the film. That's one line of text alongside the suicide prevention hotline number. It’s that easy.
  3. Broadcast quality: Our films will be as compelling and well produced as any broadcast segment.
  4. Variety: With 20 different films, news outlets won’t have to worry about covering the same story.
  5. Pre-launch partnership: We’ll partner with a news organization beforehand. When we launch they'll pledge to #ReportSurvival, which ensures others will follow.
  6. PR: A well-executed PR plan is essential. In the absence of one, our survivor stories will get lost in a clutter of internet content. Our experience pitching blogs and acquiring earned media will ensure people and news organizations won’t miss our efforts.
  7. Legitimacy: Along the way, we'll get endorsements from mental health organizations like NAMI and influencers like Michael Phelps.
  8. They already care: Unlike the rest of the world, reporters are well aware of suicide contagion. #ReportSurvival is a chance for them to help end a life or death issue they’re painfully aware of.
With that, let’s go over how this works executionally.
  1. Pre-Launch: The Stories
Casting
First things first. We’ll partner with a casting agency to help us find the most moving survivor stories. At the same time, we’ll tap into our own networks to cast an even wider net.
Production
To ensure viewers have a story they can relate to, we'll produce 20 films. Each will represent a different gender, sexuality, race, age, trauma, or treatment. That means 300 million people who’re suffering from depression will finally have access to stories they can relate to.
Partnerships
The more help we can get the better. Whether it’s non-profits with funding, individuals with feedback, or production partners with time and equipment, we’ll take whatever we can get.
2) Pre-Launch: #ReportSurvival
Influencers
Although it’s not essential, influencers have helped spark some of the most successful social movements in the digital age. Movements like #MeToo, Obama’s “Change” campaign, and the Ice Bucket Challenge dominated the internet because of influencer support.
Given this issue's importance, our connections, and how unaware people are, we believe we can recruit some of the world’s most influential people. Celebrities with their own survivor stories in all areas of life. Oprah, Michael Phelps, Ted Turner, Prince Harry, and J.K. Rowling are just a few examples of influencers who are just as passionate as we are.
Bring on the News
As proven with the existing suicide guidelines when one news organization commits to change, the rest join. Doesn’t matter if it’s Fox News or MSNBC, they all want to help end suicide contagion. So as we previously mentioned, we’ll partner with an organization beforehand.
3) Launch
Wait for it
Every high profile suicide has lead to record-breaking global awareness, but very little action or change. By launching our campaign in reaction to the next widely publicized high profile suicide, we’ll turn awareness into action.
WHO ARE WE?
I’m Tim
I spent the last 6 years working at Ogilvy & Mather. While there, I executed campaigns for American Express, British Airways, Coke Zero, ThinkPad, and Qualcomm.
I know what it's like to feel hopeless. I know suicide contagion exists because I was almost a victim of it. And I know how discouraging it is to see countless stories of people who gave up, but none of the people who beat it.
That’s why this isn’t something I want to do. This is something I will do.
The Agency
My digital media company GUSH specializes in social media campaigns and PR-worthy executions. Part of our business is applying our digital, social, and PR skills to end the mental health crisis.
DO YOU HAVE A STORY?
We'd love to hear and potentially feature it to help launch the project!
submitted by timfluencer to fuckeatingdisorders [link] [comments]


2020.01.24 03:20 timfluencer Have you recovered? (apologies if this doesn't fit the sub)

REPOST
Hey yall,
I'd love to get your thoughts on a mental health awareness campaign I've been working on for the past year. If you're interested in participating, even better.
WHAT PROBLEM ARE WE TRYING TO SOLVE?
The news is killing people.
When we lost Robin Williams the suicide rate increased by 10%. Marilyn Monroe: 12%. When Kate Spade and Anthony Bourdain committed suicide, the hotline got 25% more calls. It's called suicide contagion, and it’s the proven link between mass media coverage of suicide and an increase in suicide rates.
Think about it. If a celebrity with more resources and success couldn’t beat it, how can anyone? It makes you feel hopeless. And hopelessness can be deadly.
With suicide rates increasing across the world, we have to do something now more than ever. Something unprecedented. We have to tell the other side of the story. Where people survive and thrive. We have to #ReportSurvival.
#ReportSurvival
#ReportSurvival is a campaign guiding news organizations to report suicide more responsibly. Whether it’s Buzzfeed, the local news, or CNN, we’ll create a media landscape where a story of someone who survived suicide follows every report of someone who didn't.
WHY SURVIVOR STORIES?
Why survivor stories?
For every person that dies by suicide, another 280 people survive. Many of whom go on to live happy, fulfilling lives. These stories of survival and perseverance hold extraordinary power. That's why they're an effective way to end suicide contagion. But don't take it from us, take it from them:
“Portraying suicide survivors rather than focusing on completed cases in the media is more effective in reducing suicide contagion.”
“Our best answers as to why suicides happen and what we can do to prevent them are not found by focusing on the one person who died by suicide, but by focusing on the living—the other 280 who survived.”
“It turns out that, although suicide can be contagious, resilience can also be contagious. And when we look at media reports that talk about people who thought about suicide but instead got help and got better, that actually rates across the population, the number of deaths that happen in a specific area, go down. And we really really want to encourage people to report in that kind of way.”
“Hearing stories from people who have survived suicide attempts is an important step in suicide prevention.”
“Their stories are not only enlightening professionals who create policies or study the subject, but they are also transmitting all important hope to those at risk."
"People see stories all the time about those surviving breast cancer, heart disease, and stroke, and we know what that recovery looks like—it helps people who are experiencing it or someone whose mom just got diagnosed. So many people go through their suicidal crisis feeling completely isolated and alone because they think they're the only ones. But they're not. There are millions of healing and recovery stories—they just haven't been shared."
Don’t survivor stories already exist?
When was the last time you saw an uplifting news story about someone who overcame suicide? Unfortunately, it’s human nature to take an interest in conflict, drama, and tragedy. As a result, the few survivor stories that are independently produced are unpromoted and low quality.
Of the content that does exist, ours will be different in several crucial ways:
  1. Relevance - Instead of one or two, we’ll feature 20 unique stories. This ensures every sufferer, no matter their experience, has something they can relate to.
  2. Quality - We’ve worked with award-winning production companies, many of whom are interested in pro-bono work. That means we’ll have the best equipment, crews, and directors to deliver quality films that distinguish our stories and engage our viewers.
  3. Compelling Content - We’ve learned storytelling at some of the world’s most renown advertising agencies and news organizations. Given our experience, we’re confident we can create films that are enthralling, concise, and effective.
  4. Understanding We understand these issues because we’ve been victims of them. Whether it’s suicide, suicide contagion, or depression, the videos we’re creating are films we wish existed when we felt lost and hopeless.
  5. Casting - Finding the right people is essential. Without a good story, we don’t have a film worth making. That’s why we won’t proceed until we’re completely satisfied.
  6. Link to Treatment - This is about more than hope. It’s about action and lasting change. That’s why we’re putting emphasis on how suicide survivors got through it, giving concrete examples of how others can too. Each film will link to treatment options and affordable resources to help people take the next step and get the help they so desperately need.
HOW WILL THIS WORK?
For this to work, we need news organizations to see these survivor stories and make a commitment to #ReportSurvival. Here’s why it will happen:
  1. It’s nothing new: Media guidelines for how to report suicide already exist. The most effective being the suicide prevention hotline. Problem is, suicide contagion is only getting worse. This makes #ReportSurvival a simple, yet essential evolution of these guidelines.
  2. We made it simple: We'll make the survivor films ourselves. All they’ll have to do is link to the film. That's one line of text alongside the suicide prevention hotline number. It’s that easy.
  3. Broadcast quality: Our films will be as compelling and well produced as any broadcast segment.
  4. Variety: With 20 different films, news outlets won’t have to worry about covering the same story.
  5. Pre-launch partnership: We’ll partner with a news organization beforehand. When we launch they'll pledge to #ReportSurvival, which ensures others will follow.
  6. PR: A well-executed PR plan is essential. In the absence of one, our survivor stories will get lost in a clutter of internet content. Our experience pitching blogs and acquiring earned media will ensure people and news organizations won’t miss our efforts.
  7. Legitimacy: Along the way, we'll get endorsements from mental health organizations like NAMI and influencers like Michael Phelps.
  8. They already care: Unlike the rest of the world, reporters are well aware of suicide contagion. #ReportSurvival is a chance for them to help end a life or death issue they’re painfully aware of.
With that, let’s go over how this works executionally.
  1. Pre-Launch: The Stories
Casting
First things first. We’ll partner with a casting agency to help us find the most moving survivor stories. At the same time, we’ll tap into our own networks to cast an even wider net.
Production
To ensure viewers have a story they can relate to, we'll produce 20 films. Each will represent a different gender, sexuality, race, age, trauma, or treatment. That means 300 million people who’re suffering from depression will finally have access to stories they can relate to.
Partnerships
The more help we can get the better. Whether it’s non-profits with funding, individuals with feedback, or production partners with time and equipment, we’ll take whatever we can get.
2) Pre-Launch: #ReportSurvival
Influencers
Although it’s not essential, influencers have helped spark some of the most successful social movements in the digital age. Movements like #MeToo, Obama’s “Change” campaign, and the Ice Bucket Challenge dominated the internet because of influencer support.
Given this issue's importance, our connections, and how unaware people are, we believe we can recruit some of the world’s most influential people. Celebrities with their own survivor stories in all areas of life. Oprah, Michael Phelps, Ted Turner, Prince Harry, and J.K. Rowling are just a few examples of influencers who are just as passionate as we are.
Bring on the News
As proven with the existing suicide guidelines when one news organization commits to change, the rest join. Doesn’t matter if it’s Fox News or MSNBC, they all want to help end suicide contagion. So as we previously mentioned, we’ll partner with an organization beforehand.
3) Launch
Wait for it
Every high profile suicide has lead to record-breaking global awareness, but very little action or change. By launching our campaign in reaction to the next widely publicized high profile suicide, we’ll turn awareness into action.
WHO ARE WE?
I’m Tim
I spent the last 6 years working at Ogilvy & Mather. While there, I executed campaigns for American Express, British Airways, Coke Zero, ThinkPad, and Qualcomm.
I know what it's like to feel hopeless. I know suicide contagion exists because I was almost a victim of it. And I know how discouraging it is to see countless stories of people who gave up, but none of the people who beat it.
That’s why this isn’t something I want to do. This is something I will do.
The Agency
My digital media company GUSH specializes in social media campaigns and PR-worthy executions. Part of our business is applying our digital, social, and PR skills to end the mental health crisis.
DO YOU HAVE A STORY?
We'd love to hear and potentially feature it to help launch the project!
submitted by timfluencer to EatingDisorderHope [link] [comments]


2020.01.24 01:30 timfluencer Have you gotten through to the other side? (apologies if this doesn't fit the sub)

Hey yall,
I'd love to get your thoughts on a mental health awareness campaign I've been working on for the past year. If you're interested in participating, even better.
WHAT PROBLEM ARE WE TRYING TO SOLVE?
The news is killing people.
When we lost Robin Williams the suicide rate increased by 10%. Marilyn Monroe: 12%. When Kate Spade and Anthony Bourdain committed suicide, the hotline got 25% more calls. It's called suicide contagion, and it’s the proven link between mass media coverage of suicide and an increase in suicide rates.
Think about it. If a celebrity with more resources and success couldn’t beat it, how can anyone? It makes you feel hopeless. And hopelessness can be deadly.
With suicide rates increasing across the world, we have to do something now more than ever. Something unprecedented. We have to tell the other side of the story. Where people survive and thrive. We have to #ReportSurvival.
#ReportSurvival
#ReportSurvival is a campaign guiding news organizations to report suicide more responsibly. Whether it’s Buzzfeed, the local news, or CNN, we’ll create a media landscape where a story of someone who survived suicide follows every report of someone who didn't.
WHY SURVIVOR STORIES?
Why survivor stories?
For every person that dies by suicide, another 280 people survive. Many of whom go on to live happy, fulfilling lives. These stories of survival and perseverance hold extraordinary power. That's why they're an effective way to end suicide contagion. But don't take it from us, take it from them:
“Portraying suicide survivors rather than focusing on completed cases in the media is more effective in reducing suicide contagion.”
“Our best answers as to why suicides happen and what we can do to prevent them are not found by focusing on the one person who died by suicide, but by focusing on the living—the other 280 who survived.”
“It turns out that, although suicide can be contagious, resilience can also be contagious. And when we look at media reports that talk about people who thought about suicide but instead got help and got better, that actually rates across the population, the number of deaths that happen in a specific area, go down. And we really really want to encourage people to report in that kind of way.”
“Hearing stories from people who have survived suicide attempts is an important step in suicide prevention.”
“Their stories are not only enlightening professionals who create policies or study the subject, but they are also transmitting all important hope to those at risk."
"People see stories all the time about those surviving breast cancer, heart disease, and stroke, and we know what that recovery looks like—it helps people who are experiencing it or someone whose mom just got diagnosed. So many people go through their suicidal crisis feeling completely isolated and alone because they think they're the only ones. But they're not. There are millions of healing and recovery stories—they just haven't been shared."
Don’t survivor stories already exist?
When was the last time you saw an uplifting news story about someone who overcame suicide? Unfortunately, it’s human nature to take an interest in conflict, drama, and tragedy. As a result, the few survivor stories that are independently produced are unpromoted and low quality.
Of the content that does exist, ours will be different in several crucial ways:
  1. Relevance - Instead of one or two, we’ll feature 20 unique stories. This ensures every sufferer, no matter their experience, has something they can relate to.
  2. Quality - We’ve worked with award-winning production companies, many of whom are interested in pro-bono work. That means we’ll have the best equipment, crews, and directors to deliver quality films that distinguish our stories and engage our viewers.
  3. Compelling Content - We’ve learned storytelling at some of the world’s most renown advertising agencies and news organizations. Given our experience, we’re confident we can create films that are enthralling, concise, and effective.
  4. Understanding We understand these issues because we’ve been victims of them. Whether it’s suicide, suicide contagion, or depression, the videos we’re creating are films we wish existed when we felt lost and hopeless.
  5. Casting - Finding the right people is essential. Without a good story, we don’t have a film worth making. That’s why we won’t proceed until we’re completely satisfied.
  6. Link to Treatment - This is about more than hope. It’s about action and lasting change. That’s why we’re putting emphasis on how suicide survivors got through it, giving concrete examples of how others can too. Each film will link to treatment options and affordable resources to help people take the next step and get the help they so desperately need.
HOW WILL THIS WORK?
For this to work, we need news organizations to see these survivor stories and make a commitment to #ReportSurvival. Here’s why it will happen:
  1. It’s nothing new: Media guidelines for how to report suicide already exist. The most effective being the suicide prevention hotline. Problem is, suicide contagion is only getting worse. This makes #ReportSurvival a simple, yet essential evolution of these guidelines.
  2. We made it simple: We'll make the survivor films ourselves. All they’ll have to do is link to the film. That's one line of text alongside the suicide prevention hotline number. It’s that easy.
  3. Broadcast quality: Our films will be as compelling and well produced as any broadcast segment.
  4. Variety: With 20 different films, news outlets won’t have to worry about covering the same story.
  5. Pre-launch partnership: We’ll partner with a news organization beforehand. When we launch they'll pledge to #ReportSurvival, which ensures others will follow.
  6. PR: A well-executed PR plan is essential. In the absence of one, our survivor stories will get lost in a clutter of internet content. Our experience pitching blogs and acquiring earned media will ensure people and news organizations won’t miss our efforts.
  7. Legitimacy: Along the way, we'll get endorsements from mental health organizations like NAMI and influencers like Michael Phelps.
  8. They already care: Unlike the rest of the world, reporters are well aware of suicide contagion. #ReportSurvival is a chance for them to help end a life or death issue they’re painfully aware of.
With that, let’s go over how this works executionally.
  1. Pre-Launch: The Stories
Casting
First things first. We’ll partner with a casting agency to help us find the most moving survivor stories. At the same time, we’ll tap into our own networks to cast an even wider net.
Production
To ensure viewers have a story they can relate to, we'll produce 20 films. Each will represent a different gender, sexuality, race, age, trauma, or treatment. That means 300 million people who’re suffering from depression will finally have access to stories they can relate to.
Partnerships
The more help we can get the better. Whether it’s non-profits with funding, individuals with feedback, or production partners with time and equipment, we’ll take whatever we can get.
2) Pre-Launch: #ReportSurvival
Influencers
Although it’s not essential, influencers have helped spark some of the most successful social movements in the digital age. Movements like #MeToo, Obama’s “Change” campaign, and the Ice Bucket Challenge dominated the internet because of influencer support.
Given this issue's importance, our connections, and how unaware people are, we believe we can recruit some of the world’s most influential people. Celebrities with their own survivor stories in all areas of life. Oprah, Michael Phelps, Ted Turner, Prince Harry, and J.K. Rowling are just a few examples of influencers who are just as passionate as we are.
Bring on the News
As proven with the existing suicide guidelines when one news organization commits to change, the rest join. Doesn’t matter if it’s Fox News or MSNBC, they all want to help end suicide contagion. So as we previously mentioned, we’ll partner with an organization beforehand.
3) Launch
Wait for it
Every high profile suicide has lead to record-breaking global awareness, but very little action or change. By launching our campaign in reaction to the next widely publicized high profile suicide, we’ll turn awareness into action.
WHO ARE WE?
I’m Tim
I spent the last 6 years working at Ogilvy & Mather. While there, I executed campaigns for American Express, British Airways, Coke Zero, ThinkPad, and Qualcomm.
I know what it's like to feel hopeless. I know suicide contagion exists because I was almost a victim of it. And I know how discouraging it is to see countless stories of people who gave up, but none of the people who beat it.
That’s why this isn’t something I want to do. This is something I will do.
The Agency
My digital media company GUSH specializes in social media campaigns and PR-worthy executions. Part of our business is applying our digital, social, and PR skills to end the mental health crisis.
DO YOU HAVE A STORY?
We'd love to hear and potentially feature it to help launch the project!
submitted by timfluencer to depressionregimens [link] [comments]


2020.01.23 20:33 timfluencer Are you a survivor of mental illness and/or suicide? (ignore if this doesn't fit the sub)

Hey yall,
I'd love to get your thoughts on a mental health awareness campaign I've been working on for the past year. If you're interested in participating, even better.
WHAT PROBLEM ARE WE TRYING TO SOLVE?
The news is killing people.
When we lost Robin Williams the suicide rate increased by 10%. Marilyn Monroe: 12%. When Kate Spade and Anthony Bourdain committed suicide, the hotline got 25% more calls. It's called suicide contagion, and it’s the proven link between mass media coverage of suicide and an increase in suicide rates.
Think about it. If a celebrity with more resources and success couldn’t beat it, how can anyone? It makes you feel hopeless. And hopelessness can be deadly.
With suicide rates increasing across the world, we have to do something now more than ever. Something unprecedented. We have to tell the other side of the story. Where people survive and thrive. We have to #ReportSurvival.
#ReportSurvival
#ReportSurvival is a campaign guiding news organizations to report suicide more responsibly. Whether it’s Buzzfeed, the local news, or CNN, we’ll create a media landscape where a story of someone who survived suicide follows every report of someone who didn't.
WHY SURVIVOR STORIES?
Why survivor stories?
For every person that dies by suicide, another 280 people survive. Many of whom go on to live happy, fulfilling lives. These stories of survival and perseverance hold extraordinary power. That's why they're an effective way to end suicide contagion. But don't take it from us, take it from them:
“Portraying suicide survivors rather than focusing on completed cases in the media is more effective in reducing suicide contagion.”
“Our best answers as to why suicides happen and what we can do to prevent them are not found by focusing on the one person who died by suicide, but by focusing on the living—the other 280 who survived.”
“It turns out that, although suicide can be contagious, resilience can also be contagious. And when we look at media reports that talk about people who thought about suicide but instead got help and got better, that actually rates across the population, the number of deaths that happen in a specific area, go down. And we really really want to encourage people to report in that kind of way.”
“Hearing stories from people who have survived suicide attempts is an important step in suicide prevention.”
“Their stories are not only enlightening professionals who create policies or study the subject, but they are also transmitting all important hope to those at risk."
"People see stories all the time about those surviving breast cancer, heart disease, and stroke, and we know what that recovery looks like—it helps people who are experiencing it or someone whose mom just got diagnosed. So many people go through their suicidal crisis feeling completely isolated and alone because they think they're the only ones. But they're not. There are millions of healing and recovery stories—they just haven't been shared."
Don’t survivor stories already exist?
When was the last time you saw an uplifting news story about someone who overcame suicide? Unfortunately, it’s human nature to take an interest in conflict, drama, and tragedy. As a result, the few survivor stories that are independently produced are unpromoted and low quality.
Of the content that does exist, ours will be different in several crucial ways:
  1. Relevance - Instead of one or two, we’ll feature 20 unique stories. This ensures every sufferer, no matter their experience, has something they can relate to.
  2. Quality - We’ve worked with award-winning production companies, many of whom are interested in pro-bono work. That means we’ll have the best equipment, crews, and directors to deliver quality films that distinguish our stories and engage our viewers.
  3. Compelling Content - We’ve learned storytelling at some of the world’s most renown advertising agencies and news organizations. Given our experience, we’re confident we can create films that are enthralling, concise, and effective.
  4. Understanding We understand these issues because we’ve been victims of them. Whether it’s suicide, suicide contagion, or depression, the videos we’re creating are films we wish existed when we felt lost and hopeless.
  5. Casting - Finding the right people is essential. Without a good story, we don’t have a film worth making. That’s why we won’t proceed until we’re completely satisfied.
  6. Link to Treatment - This is about more than hope. It’s about action and lasting change. That’s why we’re putting emphasis on how suicide survivors got through it, giving concrete examples of how others can too. Each film will link to treatment options and affordable resources to help people take the next step and get the help they so desperately need.
HOW WILL THIS WORK?
For this to work, we need news organizations to see these survivor stories and make a commitment to #ReportSurvival. Here’s why it will happen:
  1. It’s nothing new: Media guidelines for how to report suicide already exist. The most effective being the suicide prevention hotline. Problem is, suicide contagion is only getting worse. This makes #ReportSurvival a simple, yet essential evolution of these guidelines.
  2. We made it simple: We'll make the survivor films ourselves. All they’ll have to do is link to the film. That's one line of text alongside the suicide prevention hotline number. It’s that easy.
  3. Broadcast quality: Our films will be as compelling and well produced as any broadcast segment.
  4. Variety: With 20 different films, news outlets won’t have to worry about covering the same story.
  5. Pre-launch partnership: We’ll partner with a news organization beforehand. When we launch they'll pledge to #ReportSurvival, which ensures others will follow.
  6. PR: A well-executed PR plan is essential. In the absence of one, our survivor stories will get lost in a clutter of internet content. Our experience pitching blogs and acquiring earned media will ensure people and news organizations won’t miss our efforts.
  7. Legitimacy: Along the way, we'll get endorsements from mental health organizations like NAMI and influencers like Michael Phelps.
  8. They already care: Unlike the rest of the world, reporters are well aware of suicide contagion. #ReportSurvival is a chance for them to help end a life or death issue they’re painfully aware of.
With that, let’s go over how this works executionally.
  1. Pre-Launch: The Stories
Casting
First things first. We’ll partner with a casting agency to help us find the most moving survivor stories. At the same time, we’ll tap into our own networks to cast an even wider net.
Production
To ensure viewers have a story they can relate to, we'll produce 20 films. Each will represent a different gender, sexuality, race, age, trauma, or treatment. That means 300 million people who’re suffering from depression will finally have access to stories they can relate to.
Partnerships
The more help we can get the better. Whether it’s non-profits with funding, individuals with feedback, or production partners with time and equipment, we’ll take whatever we can get.
2) Pre-Launch: #ReportSurvival
Influencers
Although it’s not essential, influencers have helped spark some of the most successful social movements in the digital age. Movements like #MeToo, Obama’s “Change” campaign, and the Ice Bucket Challenge dominated the internet because of influencer support.
Given this issue's importance, our connections, and how unaware people are, we believe we can recruit some of the world’s most influential people. Celebrities with their own survivor stories in all areas of life. Oprah, Michael Phelps, Ted Turner, Prince Harry, and J.K. Rowling are just a few examples of influencers who are just as passionate as we are.
Bring on the News
As proven with the existing suicide guidelines when one news organization commits to change, the rest join. Doesn’t matter if it’s Fox News or MSNBC, they all want to help end suicide contagion. So as we previously mentioned, we’ll partner with an organization beforehand.
3) Launch
Wait for it
Every high profile suicide has lead to record-breaking global awareness, but very little action or change. By launching our campaign in reaction to the next widely publicized high profile suicide, we’ll turn awareness into action.
WHO ARE WE?
I’m Tim
I spent the last 6 years working at Ogilvy & Mather. While there, I executed campaigns for American Express, British Airways, Coke Zero, ThinkPad, and Qualcomm.
I know what it's like to feel hopeless. I know suicide contagion exists because I was almost a victim of it. And I know how discouraging it is to see countless stories of people who gave up, but none of the people who beat it.
That’s why this isn’t something I want to do. This is something I will do.
The Agency
My digital media company GUSH specializes in social media campaigns and PR-worthy executions. Part of our business is applying our digital, social, and PR skills to end the mental health crisis.
DO YOU HAVE A STORY?
We'd love to hear and potentially feature it to help launch the project!
submitted by timfluencer to Antipsychiatry [link] [comments]


2020.01.20 20:38 timfluencer Are you a survivor of mental illness? [REPORTSURVIVAL]

Hey yall,
#ReportSurvival is an initiative to share real life survivor stories, give the hopeless hope, and help end suicide contagion. Right now we're looking for people who have stories that they'd be willing to share. If you or someone you know does, we'd love to hear from ya! Also, if you have feedback on the proposal below we welcome your comments.
All the best,
The #ReportSurvival team

WHAT PROBLEM ARE WE TRYING TO SOLVE?
The news is killing people.
When we lost Robin Williams the suicide rate increased by 10%. Marilyn Monroe: 12%. When Kate Spade and Anthony Bourdain committed suicide, the hotline got 25% more calls. It's called suicide contagion, and it’s the proven link between mass media coverage of suicide and an increase in suicide rates.
Think about it. If a celebrity with more resources and success couldn’t beat it, how can anyone? It makes you feel hopeless. And hopelessness can be deadly.
With suicide rates increasing across the world, we have to do something now more than ever. Something unprecedented. We have to tell the other side of the story. Where people survive and thrive. We have to #ReportSurvival.
#ReportSurvival**?**
#ReportSurvival is a campaign guiding news organizations to report suicide more responsibly. Whether it’s Buzzfeed, the local news, or CNN, we’ll create a media landscape where a story of someone who survived suicide follows every report of someone who didn't.
WHY SURVIVOR STORIES?
Why survivor stories?
For every person that dies by suicide, another 280 people survive. Many of whom go on to live happy, fulfilling lives. These stories of survival and perseverance hold extraordinary power. That's why they're an effective way to end suicide contagion. But don't take it from us, take it from them:
“Portraying suicide survivors rather than focusing on completed cases in the media is more effective in reducing suicide contagion.”
“Our best answers as to why suicides happen and what we can do to prevent them are not found by focusing on the one person who died by suicide, but by focusing on the living—the other 280 who survived.”
“It turns out that, although suicide can be contagious, resilience can also be contagious. And when we look at media reports that talk about people who thought about suicide but instead got help and got better, that actually rates across the population, the number of deaths that happen in a specific area, go down. And we really really want to encourage people to report in that kind of way.”
“Hearing stories from people who have survived suicide attempts is an important step in suicide prevention.”
“Their stories are not only enlightening professionals who create policies or study the subject, but they are also transmitting all important hope to those at risk."
"People see stories all the time about those surviving breast cancer, heart disease, and stroke, and we know what that recovery looks like—it helps people who are experiencing it or someone whose mom just got diagnosed. So many people go through their suicidal crisis feeling completely isolated and alone because they think they're the only ones. But they're not. There are millions of healing and recovery stories—they just haven't been shared."
Don’t survivor stories already exist?
When was the last time you saw an uplifting news story about someone who overcame suicide? Unfortunately, it’s human nature to take an interest in conflict, drama, and tragedy. As a result, the few survivor stories that are independently produced are unpromoted and low quality.
Of the content that does exist, ours will be different in several crucial ways:
  1. Relevance - Instead of one or two, we’ll feature 20 unique stories. This ensures every sufferer, no matter their experience, has something they can relate to.
  2. Quality - We’ve worked with award-winning production companies, many of whom are interested in pro-bono work. That means we’ll have the best equipment, crews, and directors to deliver quality films that distinguish our stories and engage our viewers.
  3. Compelling Content - We’ve learned storytelling at some of the world’s most renown advertising agencies and news organizations. Given our experience, we’re confident we can create films that are enthralling, concise, and effective.
  4. Understanding We understand these issues because we’ve been victims of them. Whether it’s suicide, suicide contagion, or depression, the videos we’re creating are films we wish existed when we felt lost and hopeless.
  5. Casting - Finding the right people is essential. Without a good story, we don’t have a film worth making. That’s why we won’t proceed until we’re completely satisfied.
  6. Link to Treatment - This is about more than hope. It’s about action and lasting change. That’s why we’re putting emphasis on how suicide survivors got through it, giving concrete examples of how others can too. Each film will link to treatment options and affordable resources to help people take the next step and get the help they so desperately need.
HOW WILL THIS WORK?
For this to work, we need news organizations to see these survivor stories and make a commitment to #ReportSurvival. Here’s why it will happen:
  1. It’s nothing new: Media guidelines for how to report suicide already exist. The most effective being the suicide prevention hotline. Problem is, suicide contagion is only getting worse. This makes #ReportSurvival a simple, yet essential evolution of these guidelines.
  2. We made it simple: We'll make the survivor films ourselves. All they’ll have to do is link to the film. That's one line of text alongside the suicide prevention hotline number. It’s that easy.
  3. Broadcast quality: Our films will be as compelling and well produced as any broadcast segment.
  4. Variety: With 20 different films, news outlets won’t have to worry about covering the same story.
  5. Pre-launch partnership: We’ll partner with a news organization beforehand. When we launch they'll pledge to #ReportSurvival, which ensures others will follow.
  6. PR: A well-executed PR plan is essential. In the absence of one, our survivor stories will get lost in a clutter of internet content. Our experience pitching blogs and acquiring earned media will ensure people and news organizations won’t miss our efforts.
  7. Legitimacy: Along the way, we'll get endorsements from mental health organizations like NAMI and influencers like Michael Phelps.
  8. They already care: Unlike the rest of the world, reporters are well aware of suicide contagion. #ReportSurvival is a chance for them to help end a life or death issue they’re painfully aware of.
With that, let’s go over how this works executionally.
  1. Pre-Launch: The Stories
Casting
First things first. We’ll partner with a casting agency to help us find the most moving survivor stories. At the same time, we’ll tap into our own networks to cast an even wider net.
Production
To ensure viewers have a story they can relate to, we'll produce 20 films. Each will represent a different gender, sexuality, race, age, trauma, or treatment. That means 300 million people who’re suffering from depression will finally have access to stories they can relate to.
Partnerships
The more help we can get the better. Whether it’s non-profits with funding, individuals with feedback, or production partners with time and equipment, we’ll take whatever we can get.
2) Pre-Launch: #ReportSurvival
Influencers
Although it’s not essential, influencers have helped spark some of the most successful social movements in the digital age. Movements like #MeToo, Obama’s “Change” campaign, and the Ice Bucket Challenge dominated the internet because of influencer support.
Given this issue's importance, our connections, and how unaware people are, we believe we can recruit some of the world’s most influential people. Celebrities with their own survivor stories in all areas of life. Oprah, Michael Phelps, Ted Turner, Prince Harry, and J.K. Rowling are just a few examples of influencers who are just as passionate as we are.
Bring on the News
As proven with the existing suicide guidelines when one news organization commits to change, the rest join. Doesn’t matter if it’s Fox News or MSNBC, they all want to help end suicide contagion. So as we previously mentioned, we’ll partner with an organization beforehand.
3) Launch
Wait for it
Every high profile suicide has lead to record-breaking global awareness, but very little action or change. By launching our campaign in reaction to the next widely publicized high profile suicide, we’ll turn awareness into action.
WHO ARE WE?
I’m Tim
I spent the last 6 years working at Ogilvy & Mather. While there, I executed campaigns for American Express, British Airways, Coke Zero, ThinkPad, and Qualcomm.
I know what it's like to feel hopeless. I know suicide contagion exists because I was almost a victim of it. And I know how discouraging it is to see countless stories of people who gave up, but none of the people who beat it.
That’s why this isn’t something I want to do. This is something I will do.
The Agency
My digital media company GUSH specializes in social media campaigns and PR-worthy executions. Part of our business is applying our digital, social, and PR skills to end the mental health crisis.
DO YOU HAVE A STORY?
We'd love to hear it and potentially feature it to help launch this initi1ative.
submitted by timfluencer to mentalhealth [link] [comments]


2020.01.20 20:03 timfluencer Are you a survivor of mental illness?

Hey Los Angelites,
I'm an ad guy who's suffered from depression and anxiety his whole life and have been working on a campaign with a team of peeps to share real life survivor stories, give the hopeless hope, and help end suicide contagion. Right now I'm looking for people who have stories in the LA area. If you or someone you know does, I'd love to hear from ya! Also, if you have feedback on the proposal below I'd welcome your comments.
Tim

WHAT PROBLEM ARE WE TRYING TO SOLVE?
The news is killing people.
When we lost Robin Williams the suicide rate increased by 10%. Marilyn Monroe: 12%. When Kate Spade and Anthony Bourdain committed suicide, the hotline got 25% more calls. It's called suicide contagion, and it’s the proven link between mass media coverage of suicide and an increase in suicide rates.
Think about it. If a celebrity with more resources and success couldn’t beat it, how can anyone? It makes you feel hopeless. And hopelessness can be deadly.
With suicide rates increasing across the world, we have to do something now more than ever. Something unprecedented. We have to tell the other side of the story. Where people survive and thrive. We have to #ReportSurvival.
#ReportSurvival?
#ReportSurvival is a campaign guiding news organizations to report suicide more responsibly. Whether it’s Buzzfeed, the local news, or CNN, we’ll create a media landscape where a story of someone who survived suicide follows every report of someone who didn't.
WHY SURVIVOR STORIES?
Why survivor stories?
For every person that dies by suicide, another 280 people survive. Many of whom go on to live happy, fulfilling lives. These stories of survival and perseverance hold extraordinary power. That's why they're an effective way to end suicide contagion. But don't take it from us, take it from them:
“Portraying suicide survivors rather than focusing on completed cases in the media is more effective in reducing suicide contagion.”
“Our best answers as to why suicides happen and what we can do to prevent them are not found by focusing on the one person who died by suicide, but by focusing on the living—the other 280 who survived.”
“It turns out that, although suicide can be contagious, resilience can also be contagious. And when we look at media reports that talk about people who thought about suicide but instead got help and got better, that actually rates across the population, the number of deaths that happen in a specific area, go down. And we really really want to encourage people to report in that kind of way.”
“Hearing stories from people who have survived suicide attempts is an important step in suicide prevention.”
“Their stories are not only enlightening professionals who create policies or study the subject, but they are also transmitting all important hope to those at risk."
"People see stories all the time about those surviving breast cancer, heart disease, and stroke, and we know what that recovery looks like—it helps people who are experiencing it or someone whose mom just got diagnosed. So many people go through their suicidal crisis feeling completely isolated and alone because they think they're the only ones. But they're not. There are millions of healing and recovery stories—they just haven't been shared."
Don’t survivor stories already exist?
When was the last time you saw an uplifting news story about someone who overcame suicide? Unfortunately, it’s human nature to take an interest in conflict, drama, and tragedy. As a result, the few survivor stories that are independently produced are unpromoted and low quality.
Of the content that does exist, ours will be different in several crucial ways:
  1. Relevance - Instead of one or two, we’ll feature 20 unique stories. This ensures every sufferer, no matter their experience, has something they can relate to.
  2. Quality - We’ve worked with award-winning production companies, many of whom are interested in pro-bono work. That means we’ll have the best equipment, crews, and directors to deliver quality films that distinguish our stories and engage our viewers.
  3. Compelling Content - We’ve learned storytelling at some of the world’s most renown advertising agencies and news organizations. Given our experience, we’re confident we can create films that are enthralling, concise, and effective.
  4. Understanding We understand these issues because we’ve been victims of them. Whether it’s suicide, suicide contagion, or depression, the videos we’re creating are films we wish existed when we felt lost and hopeless.
  5. Casting - Finding the right people is essential. Without a good story, we don’t have a film worth making. That’s why we won’t proceed until we’re completely satisfied.
  6. Link to Treatment - This is about more than hope. It’s about action and lasting change. That’s why we’re putting emphasis on how suicide survivors got through it, giving concrete examples of how others can too. Each film will link to treatment options and affordable resources to help people take the next step and get the help they so desperately need.
HOW WILL THIS WORK?
For this to work, we need news organizations to see these survivor stories and make a commitment to #ReportSurvival. Here’s why it will happen:
  1. It’s nothing new: Media guidelines for how to report suicide already exist. The most effective being the suicide prevention hotline. Problem is, suicide contagion is only getting worse. This makes #ReportSurvival a simple, yet essential evolution of these guidelines.
  2. We made it simple: We'll make the survivor films ourselves. All they’ll have to do is link to the film. That's one line of text alongside the suicide prevention hotline number. It’s that easy.
  3. Broadcast quality: Our films will be as compelling and well produced as any broadcast segment.
  4. Variety: With 20 different films, news outlets won’t have to worry about covering the same story.
  5. Pre-launch partnership: We’ll partner with a news organization beforehand. When we launch they'll pledge to #ReportSurvival, which ensures others will follow.
  6. PR: A well-executed PR plan is essential. In the absence of one, our survivor stories will get lost in a clutter of internet content. Our experience pitching blogs and acquiring earned media will ensure people and news organizations won’t miss our efforts.
  7. Legitimacy: Along the way, we'll get endorsements from mental health organizations like NAMI and influencers like Michael Phelps.
  8. They already care: Unlike the rest of the world, reporters are well aware of suicide contagion. #ReportSurvival is a chance for them to help end a life or death issue they’re painfully aware of.
With that, let’s go over how this works executionally.
1) Pre-Launch: The Stories
Casting
First things first. We’ll partner with a casting agency to help us find the most moving survivor stories. At the same time, we’ll tap into our own networks to cast an even wider net.
Production
To ensure viewers have a story they can relate to, we'll produce 20 films. Each will represent a different gender, sexuality, race, age, trauma, or treatment. That means 300 million people who’re suffering from depression will finally have access to stories they can relate to.
Partnerships
The more help we can get the better. Whether it’s non-profits with funding, individuals with feedback, or production partners with time and equipment, we’ll take whatever we can get.
2) Pre-Launch: #ReportSurvival
Influencers
Although it’s not essential, influencers have helped spark some of the most successful social movements in the digital age. Movements like #MeToo, Obama’s “Change” campaign, and the Ice Bucket Challenge dominated the internet because of influencer support.
Given this issue's importance, our connections, and how unaware people are, we believe we can recruit some of the world’s most influential people. Celebrities with their own survivor stories in all areas of life. Oprah, Michael Phelps, Ted Turner, Prince Harry, and J.K. Rowling are just a few examples of influencers who are just as passionate as we are.
Bring on the News
As proven with the existing suicide guidelines when one news organization commits to change, the rest join. Doesn’t matter if it’s Fox News or MSNBC, they all want to help end suicide contagion. So as we previously mentioned, we’ll partner with an organization beforehand.
3) Launch
Wait for it
Every high profile suicide has lead to record-breaking global awareness, but very little action or change. By launching our campaign in reaction to the next widely publicized high profile suicide, we’ll turn awareness into action.

WHO ARE WE?
I’m Tim
I spent the last 6 years working at Ogilvy & Mather. While there, I executed campaigns for American Express, British Airways, Coke Zero, ThinkPad, and Qualcomm.
I know what it's like to feel hopeless. I know suicide contagion exists because I was almost a victim of it. And I know how discouraging it is to see countless stories of people who gave up, but none of the people who beat it.
That’s why this isn’t something I want to do. This is something I will do.
The Agency
My digital media company GUSH specializes in social media campaigns and PR-worthy executions. Part of our business is applying our digital, social, and PR skills to end the mental health crisis.
DO YOU HAVE A STORY?
We'd love to hear it and potentially feature it to help launch this initative.
submitted by timfluencer to AskLosAngeles [link] [comments]


2019.05.18 12:42 TucanJamz (Unofficial) List of all the things Lil B looks like

Lil B looks like...


(ordered by frequency, then alphabetical)

Method

I found this package in R written by Josiah Parry that lets you scrape any song on Genius line-by-line. Once I heard about this, I immediately jumped at the chance to solve this query I've been thinking about for like 10 years:
What are all the things Lil B looks like?
It’s important to note that Lil B’s Genius repo is very incomplete. 1,900+ of his songs are listed on Genius and many of them are inaccurate, incomplete, and a few have no lyrics at all. However, almost all of the most iconic B songs are still up there in good shape.
So I used the package to pull the lyrics to every song from The Basedgod's collection of mixtapes on Genius (55 after taking out outliers). I ran a query to drill down to 206 lines with the words “look” and “like” in it. From there, I manually reviewed each line, taking out ones where Lil B wasn’t speaking of himself.
At the end of the day, I came back with 147 lines of Lil B saying he looks like 102 different things. Here's a sheet with the song / mixtape title for every line.

"Yes I'm a nerd, but I'm also thuggin' so heavily"
-- Lil B, 'Robbin and Shoppin'

Protect Lil B at all costs. TYBG.
submitted by TucanJamz to ThankYouBasedGod [link] [comments]


2019.05.05 22:36 trevormcmahon [ADVICE] Crushing Productivity With a Daily Routine

LONG post, but I am gearing up to start a blog so please let me know what you think!
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We all have those days. You jump out of bed, down some caffeine, and gear up to crush goals! But where do you start? Do you have a plan? Instead of taking time to become the monster (yes, MONSTER) of your productivity, you jump between tasks hoping something will stick. All without a routine to keep you grounded.
I’ve fallen victim to this myself. I know I have a mass of work to do, but when it comes down to it, I fail on the execution or forget what I need to complete. This isn’t unusual. What is unusual is making a routine to hold you accountable. You can work effectively, and have time left over to binge Netflix!
Our daily routines can make a HUGE impact on how happy, healthy, and productive we are. Recently, I’ve been trying to adjust my own routine to achieve more while wasting less time. It’s important to know yourself, what makes you tick, and what will suit you best. I’ve always been keen on seeing what works for others, then trying to implement for myself. Then, I can take what works and make a plan that works for me! In the spirit of becoming my very best self, I researched 10 routines from highly influential people – here’s what I found out:
1) Gary Vaynerchuk: “The day started the minute I opened my eyes.”
GaryVee is the co-founder of Vaynermedia and counselor of more than 50 startups. The morning routine of this powerhouse features a robust approach to making every second count. He starts his morning with a wake-up call at 6 a.m. and follows it with a three-hour routine to get him ready for the day.
First things first, Vaynerchuk buzzes through the news-consuming information from Business Insider, ESPN, and his personal favorite: Nuzzel. This platform allows him to work with the most efficiency, aggregating the articles he’s most interested in. Next, he heads to Twitter; his No. 1 news outlet to communicate with his audiences.
“I search my handle and try to find anything I might have missed from the night before, or even that morning, considering my European and Asian bases. I respond to as many people as possible.”
After all of this comes his workout with his trainer Muscle Mike. He spends 45 minutes to an hour killing it in the gym; his workout depends on how much he’s been traveling, how he slept, and what he ate that week. While morning workouts may come standard for many people, his most unique practice happens on his way to his 9 a.m. meeting.
“In the car to the meeting, I call my mom, dad, or sister, depending on who I called last. I catch up with them. Talk to them. Just learn what they're up to. I really value those small moments.”
For someone who makes every second count, this means making time for family too. And by the time he’s stepped through the doors to meet his business on the other side, his head is working faster than he can move. He’s ready to attack the rest of his day.
2) Jack Dorsey: “Be very disciplined and be very practiced.”
The founder of both Twitter and Square, Dorsey puts in 8 hours of work at each company, each day. Working 16-hour days can’t be easy, but man is it impressive! The key to his success, Dorsey says is to “be very disciplined and very practiced.”
His trick to discipline and staying productive is to theme each day of the week. Each weekday is dedicated to a specific task, whether it be business, relaxation, or reflection. Here's what his typical week looks like:
This structure helps Dorsey to stay focused in the face of adversity. There are interruptions around every corner. He can “quickly deal with an interruption and then know that it’s Tuesday. I have product meetings and I need to focus on product stuff.”
But what about his trick to being practiced?
Each morning Dorsey jumps straight out of bed into an ice bath to shock his body into a state of alertness. As well, he saves time by not bothering with breakfast or lunch, eating just one meal a day between the hours of 6:30 and 9 p.m.
Even while working two full-time jobs, it’s comforting to know that Dorsey is still human and takes time to relax. How do you stay productive and still relax? By fitting two hours of meditation into your routine each day.
3) Oprah Winfrey: “Oh, I’m alive. Thank you.”
Oprah rises naturally without an alarm around 6 a.m. The first thought in her head is an expression of gratitude: “Oh, I’m alive. Thank you.”
This may be simple, but it themes the rest of her day to be happy and mindful.
Over coffee, she nourishes her mind with quotes, and poetry to get her day going. Then, with 20 minutes of meditation, she nourishes her soul. Finally, she nourishes her body with a workout to put that spring in her step everyone needs. These practices bring her “hope, and sense of contentment and deep joy.”
Before beginning her workday at 1:30 p.m., she gracefully reduces her to-do list as she pleases. She could be taking phone calls, meeting with friends, or tending to her garden in the sun. She makes sure to complete all her business to-dos before even entering the office. This sets her up along an efficient path.
Upon entering the office at 1:30 she checks in with her executive of O Magazine. Then, her employees, and her friend/CEO of Weight Watchers. Other activities might include checking her finances or completing phone and video calls. In and out within two hours, she works quickly to make sure everything is completed. Then, she can continue her day of mindfulness.
Before bed, she again practices gratitude by writing five things she's grateful for. She counts everything she is blessed to have in life but also reminds herself of everything she has achieved.
4) Kat Cole: “Success is mostly driven by how badly you want something … it has to do with how hungry you are.”
Cole is the president of FOCUS Brands, the parent company of Cinnabon, Carvel, etc. What a busy lady! To combat her stressful days, she has two distinct morning routines: the “on the hotel routine … and home routine.”
When waking up in a hotel, Cole rises at 5 a.m. and drinks 24 ounces of water. Then, walking around the room and looking out the window she plans each step of her day. She checks her major social media platforms, communicating with her followers. Then, jogs her mind with news sites, blogs, and messages that were delivered overnight.
Really, Cole is scouring for urgent business and team needs, relevant news, updates from invested startups. Anything to get the brain pumped up with fuel.
At 6 a.m. if the weather is suiting, she plugs in her headphones for a quick jog. This is followed by 10 minutes of basics in the hotel gym. If the weather is poor, she’ll do yoga or burpees in the room for 30 minutes.
After a cup of coffee, a shower and snack, she is out the door at 8:15 a.m. to attack whatever events the day holds! She is “ready to set the world on ‘fiyah’!”
“Talking, thinking and learning with other humans creates a purposeful start to any day.”
When she is at home, Cole will wake up as late as 7 a.m., have her 24 ounces of water followed by some shots. Aloe, turmeric, or wheatgrass are her favorite (throw some tequila in there for fun??). Then comes a mini yoga session, and she’s out the door with a protein snack in hand by 8 a.m.!
Cole says that at least two days a week she likes to start the day with coffee or breakfast with a friend. Talking, thinking, and learning with others is always important. She likes to meet with coworkers, potential business partners, or a group of local students.
It’s incredible how much Cole packs into her morning routine and how regimented it is! I need to work on getting up early and drinking water. I should also push myself and fit some yoga in there too. She certainly is an inspiring staple to follow.
5) Maya Angelou: “I love to see a [person] go out and grab the world by the lapels. Life's a bitch. You've got to go out and kick ass.”
As a beloved poet, singer, and civil rights activist, Maya Angelou was a voice of courage. She has published seven autobiographies and has an accredited list of plays and movies under her belt. As you can expect, her creative genius called for hard work – Angelou was a master of habit and routine.
Waking up at 5:30 a.m. before the birds had sung their songs, she has a cup of coffee and discusses the day with her husband. At 6:30 a.m. she goes to work in a hotel room located nearby. All she keeps in that room is a dictionary, and a deck of cards with a bottle of sherry for inspiration.
“If the work is going badly, I stay until 12:30. If it’s going well, I stay as long as it’s going well.”
On most days, she will return to home by 2 p.m. for a change of location to read over what she’s read. This allows her to squeeze out any remaining creative sparks and wrap up her notes. She then showers and prepares dinner so that when her husband comes home, she isn’t totally absorbed in work.
With a drink and dinner, Angelou likes to read her husband what she has written that day. “Hearing it aloud is good. Sometimes I hear the dissonance; then I try to straighten it out in the morning.”
Angelou’s routine is one of passion and willingness. She can sit down and work for at least five hours each day. Even when it’s going poorly or she’s experiencing writer’s block. This is just another reminder that great influencers don’t wait for inspiration.
6) Barak Obama: “Get a head start on tomorrow, tonight.”
Rising promptly at 7 a.m., Obama makes sure to share breakfast with his family. Eating with Michelle and his daughters every morning, he spends time with his family before the day begins. He then exercises his brain muscles with the newspaper. Then, his actual muscles with 45 minutes of cardio or weights. Finally, he’s all prepped and ready to enter the oval office at 9 a.m.
Seems like a lot to fit into two hours, on no caffeine (that's right … no caffeine) for the president. That's why he is careful to minimize distractions and decision fatigue: “I don’t want to make decisions about what I’m eating or wearing, because I have too many other decisions to make.” Obama makes sure to organize his time wisely and concern himself only with what matters; don't waste your energy!
During an evening break, before returning to work, Obama makes sure to eat another meal with his family. Then, to avoid further fatigue in the morning, he gets “a head start on tomorrow tonight.”
“After his family retires to bed, Obama often stays up working on odds and ends left over from the day. Chief among his nightly responsibilities is leafing through the binder of his documents that his staff has asked him to review.”
As busy as he is, The President is sure to occupy his time only with important matters. Though, he still manages to conquer the work/life balance. This is all thanks to his solid daily routine.
7) Winston Churchill: “Start the day by working from bed.”
One of the researchers who assisted Churchill in writing his books recalled: “He was totally organized, almost like a clock. His routine was absolutely dictatorial. He set a ruthless timetable each day.” Though, this allowed Churchill to create a relaxing routine which suited his needs as Prime Minister. He was able to stick to this routine for years.
He would rise at 8 a.m. and spend most of the morning in his bed. Here, he would comfortably eat breakfast, catch up on national news, and dictate to his secretaries.
At 11 a.m. he would take one of two daily baths and take a walk in the garden. Feeling refreshed, he would return to his chamber to review books he was writing and complete daily duties.
Dining with family and guests, lunch consisted of a three-course meal and went from 1-3:30 p.m. Then, he would return to work until 5 p.m. – which is when the best part of his day happened … he took a nap! I might need to use Churchill’s routine as an excuse to fit one into my schedule too.
Later, at 8 p.m. he would dine with family and guests for a hearty dinner (which always had champagne and a port or beer). This would last until it was time to work for another hour.
Churchill's clockwork routine allowed him to pack a large amount of variety into his day. He saw everything from relaxation and delicious meals to hard Prime Minister duties. This is something anyone could benefit from … take note!
8) Arianna Huffington: “I treat my transition to sleep as a sacrosanct ritual.”
Fainting from exhaustion and breaking a cheekbone caused her to take her morning and nightly routines quite seriously. Huffington has a refreshing approach on how to get better sleep, and how to function naturally.
“Ninety-five percent of the time I get eight hours of sleep … ninety-five percent of the time I don’t need an alarm to wake up.”
She hates using alarms because of the full-fledged fight-or-flight mode they make you wake up in. They cause a knee-jerk reaction that can stress out the rest of the day. Though, when she must use one, she doesn’t believe in the snooze button, “I always set it for the last possible moment I have to get up.”
Waking up naturally is a great way to start the day. For Huffington, a big part of her morning routine is what she doesn't do. When she opens her eyes, she takes time to breathe deeply, be grateful, and set the mood for the day. She doesn’t immediately look at her phone.
When I read this, it made my head spin! One of my go-to’s in the morning is checking my email, but she doesn’t do that either! Huffington avoids the temptation by not keeping her electric devices in her bedroom. Thankfully, she is on email as soon as she’s on the bike.
After a cup of morning coffee, she refreshes her body with 30 minutes on a stationary bike. Then, she refreshes her mind with 20 minutes of meditation.
This sounds like an incredibly relaxing morning routine. As the founder of The Huffington Post, I would have thought she would dive knee-deep into work the moment her eyes opened. However, the key to a relaxing morning lies in the heart of her nightly routine. It lies in her quality of sleep.
First, she shuts off all electric devices and escorts them out of the bedroom. Then, to relax she takes a warm bath with Epsom salts, candles, and perhaps a poetry book nearby. Getting ready for bed, she no longer sleeps in her workout clothes. This sends mixed signals to her brain and affects the quality of sleep. After a cup of chamomile tea and a physical book, she is promptly in bed by 11 p.m. to "catch the midnight train."
Huffington’s sacrosanct ritual leaves her feeling revitalized each morning, allowing her to rise without an alarm and ready to kick ass the next day.
9) Benjamin Franklin: “Morning question: What good shall I do this day? Evening question: What good have I done today?”
Benjamin Franklin is known as being keen on self-improvement. One of his most famous plans for self-development was a 13-week outline to achieve "moral perfection." Each week he would focus on a new aspect of his virtues – cleanliness, moderation, temperance, etc. – while he tracked his progress on a chart. He thought if he devoted himself to a virtue for an entire week, it would become a habit. He would move on week after week until he had completely reformed himself.
Franklin also set himself to a strict daily routine. He would cut-out time for work, music, eating, and sleep all for specific times of the day. Though, the demands of his printing business made it difficult to always stick to his routines, so he created a chart to help hold himself accountable.
One element of his daily routine created years after the previous schedule, was the addition of an "air bath" to calm his senses and help him sleep.
“I rise early almost every morning, and sit in my chamber without any clothes whatever, half an hour or an hour, according to the season, either reading or writing. This practice is not in the least painful, but on the contrary, agreeable; and if I return to bed afterward, before I dress, as sometimes happens, I make a supplement to my night's rest, of one or two hours of the most pleasing sleep that can be imagined.”
Being a restless sleeper myself, I am interested to try this! Who will join me and see if you can have the “most pleasing sleep that can be imagined?” … I should probably start by putting away Netflix before bed.

7 Top Tips for Designing Your Own Routine:
1) Track your habits
Understanding how you are living now can help you decide how you want to live in the future. Track your daily tasks, and then as yourself some questions:
  1. What are you doing right now that you want to change?
  2. How much time do you spend in your activities throughout the day?
  3. What could you be more efficient in?
Your answers will put you on the path to your ideal routine. If you can make the effort for a few days, you will find the insights you need to create something amazing. Even if you don’t feel ready, start now!
2) Prevent Procrastination
What distracts you the most? For me, it’s those addictive little games on my phone. If I hit a stressful spot in work, I tend to pick up my phone and start playing … that's why I put a lock on those apps while I'm working.
Get rid of distractions! This means both in the work area and right before you go to bed. Take Arianna Huffington’s advice and move the electronics out of the bedroom. Not only will this protect you from the insomnia-inducing blue light, but you won’t stay up as late checking Facebook.
3) Know Yourself and Schedule Accordingly
Did you think that night owls and early birds are real? Turns out that some people actually do work better at night, and some work better in the morning.
German scientists recently found that early birds have a different brain composition than night owls which affects their circadian rhythm and sleep schedule. This affects how alert you are through the day too.
If you are a night owl and are more productive at night, work later in the day. If you are an early bird and are more productive in the morning, work in the morning. Simple.
4) Practice Self-Care
This is one of the most underestimated factors of a routine and I can’t stress the need for this enough. Now, practicing self-care doesn’t mean binging Netflix at night, or eating your favorite ice cream because “you love yourself.” Try meditation, try exercising, make sure you get enough sleep and eat regular meals!
Just 10 minutes of meditation in the morning helps me to focus my day, clear my mind, and get out of that nasty morning dreariness. As well, I like to meditate for 10 minutes just before bed to get my mind in the right state.
Regular exercise can help to improve your mood, brain function, and energy levels! If you hit a creative block in your work, get up and go for a 15-minute walk. If you have enough time, get up for an early morning workout, or break up your day with the gym! Remember to do what works best for you.
Getting enough sleep is important, as we have heard from Arianna Huffington. But an alarm to wake you up in the morning might not be enough. Try setting an alarm for when it’s time to go to bed so your body can get into a natural rhythm.
o Love yourself the real way!
5) Prepare your meals in advance
Meal prepping can help you save time where you would normally need to cook a meal. But don’t worry, these don’t have to be the same boring meals every day! Here are some fun ideas to make your day easier:
If you decide to only prep your lunches and dinners, an easy breakfast can still be healthy. Here are some nutritious meal ideas that are easy to prepare. You can enjoy them at home or when you’re running out of the door!
6) Develop a morning routine you can use on the weekends
A morning routine can help you start your day in the best way; this means the weekends too!
Allowing for some imperfections in the weekend is important (who isn't guilty of sleeping in). I've continuously made the mistake of having a weekend wake-up time much later than on the weekdays. I realized that this was throwing off my Monday's. I was tired in the mornings, I wouldn't get the usual work done, and it would throw off the rest of the week.
Allow yourself to wake up an hour or so later than normal, but don’t over-stress your body. Remember to take care of yourself and don’t fall out of the routine!
7) Test drive your new routine!
You’ve created your new routine, woohoo! Now is the time to keep going, you’re almost to the mile mark!
Test it out for 30 days, then reflect:
  1. How do you feel?
  2. Are your activities scheduled at times that make sense?
Tweak anything not working for you and re-assess again after 30 days.

Key Takeaways From our Motivators:
1) Work your ass off but remember the ones who love you.
o GaryVee reminds us of the importance of hard work. He consumes news, fits in a hardcore morning workout, and still makes time to call his mom. Anyone can make use of their time; it just depends on how driven you are to make your time work for you.
2) Dedicate yourself to what you do. Practice your dedication.
o Jack Dorsey shows us what it means to be very dedicated and practiced. It would help all of us to focus on one aspect of our lives each day, just as he does. Schedule a priority for a certain day in the week to streamline his focus and aid when interruptions come knocking. As Dorsey does … remember to leave room for relaxation.
3) Be thankful, for life is a gift.
o Oprah proves to us that there is a higher meaning in life than work, work, work. The simple things in life, like tending to the garden, are what matter. It helps to appreciate everything that comes your way with a thought of gratitude, happiness, and mindfulness. Be happy with what you do. Remind yourself of how far you have come.
4) Your body and mind are the keys to success
o As said by Kat Cole, success is about how hungry you are. Internalize that hunger. Feel that hunger. But remember you come first. Get your water in the morning, be active, and walk out of that door with a positive attitude and a drive to succeed. Take care of yourself and you’ll be able to attack anything thrown at you. Set the world on “fiyah!”
5) Don’t Wait for Inspiration
o Reminded by Maya Angelou: great influencers don’t wait for inspiration. They harness their power and make inspiration come to them. A great way to do this is by acting creatively in everything you do. Start by making time for those who care to help you, even if it just reading aloud to them. And when the work gets tough, remember, no one great ever got anywhere without a little struggle.
6) Avoid simple distractions
o As said by Barak Obama, “get a head start on tomorrow, tonight.” The night before, he reviews everything he has done that day and plans out what he will do the next day. Even outside of work he likes to avoid simple distractions. This means laying out his clothes for the morning and eating a simple breakfast every day to get a quick head start.
7) Create a schedule that benefits you
o Winston Churchill spends the greater part of his morning in bed. Sounds pretty great, right? This is because he has created a schedule that works for him! He treats his days like clockwork, allotting certain times for each activity. Being the Prime Minister, this allows him to get everything done and more.
8) Routines to sleep well are just as important as routines to work well.
o Arianna Huffington shows us exactly how important your sleep is. Without it you won’t function well, and you’ll feel run down all day. Try keeping the electronics out of the bedroom and opt in for 20 minutes of meditation and a good book.
9) What good have you done today?
Create a plan to master your time and experiment with self-betterment, just like Benjamin Franklin. Franklin even had a schedule to master his time! He reminds us to plan our day with a morning question: “What good shall I do this day?” And end our day with review: “What good have I done today?”
submitted by trevormcmahon to getdisciplined [link] [comments]


2019.05.05 22:35 trevormcmahon Crushing Productivity With a Daily Routine

LONG post, but I am gearing up to start a blog so please let me know what you think!
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We all have those days. You jump out of bed, down some caffeine, and gear up to crush goals! But where do you start? Do you have a plan? Instead of taking time to become the monster (yes, MONSTER) of your productivity, you jump between tasks hoping something will stick. All without a routine to keep you grounded.
I’ve fallen victim to this myself. I know I have a mass of work to do, but when it comes down to it, I fail on the execution or forget what I need to complete. This isn’t unusual. What is unusual is making a routine to hold you accountable. You can work effectively, and have time left over to binge Netflix!
Our daily routines can make a HUGE impact on how happy, healthy, and productive we are. Recently, I’ve been trying to adjust my own routine to achieve more while wasting less time. It’s important to know yourself, what makes you tick, and what will suit you best. I’ve always been keen on seeing what works for others, then trying to implement for myself. Then, I can take what works and make a plan that works for me! In the spirit of becoming my very best self, I researched 10 routines from highly influential people – here’s what I found out:
1) Gary Vaynerchuk: “The day started the minute I opened my eyes.”
GaryVee is the co-founder of Vaynermedia and counselor of more than 50 startups. The morning routine of this powerhouse features a robust approach to making every second count. He starts his morning with a wake-up call at 6 a.m. and follows it with a three-hour routine to get him ready for the day.
First things first, Vaynerchuk buzzes through the news-consuming information from Business Insider, ESPN, and his personal favorite: Nuzzel. This platform allows him to work with the most efficiency, aggregating the articles he’s most interested in. Next, he heads to Twitter; his No. 1 news outlet to communicate with his audiences.
“I search my handle and try to find anything I might have missed from the night before, or even that morning, considering my European and Asian bases. I respond to as many people as possible.”
After all of this comes his workout with his trainer Muscle Mike. He spends 45 minutes to an hour killing it in the gym; his workout depends on how much he’s been traveling, how he slept, and what he ate that week. While morning workouts may come standard for many people, his most unique practice happens on his way to his 9 a.m. meeting.
“In the car to the meeting, I call my mom, dad, or sister, depending on who I called last. I catch up with them. Talk to them. Just learn what they're up to. I really value those small moments.”
For someone who makes every second count, this means making time for family too. And by the time he’s stepped through the doors to meet his business on the other side, his head is working faster than he can move. He’s ready to attack the rest of his day.
2) Jack Dorsey: “Be very disciplined and be very practiced.”
The founder of both Twitter and Square, Dorsey puts in 8 hours of work at each company, each day. Working 16-hour days can’t be easy, but man is it impressive! The key to his success, Dorsey says is to “be very disciplined and very practiced.”
His trick to discipline and staying productive is to theme each day of the week. Each weekday is dedicated to a specific task, whether it be business, relaxation, or reflection. Here's what his typical week looks like:
This structure helps Dorsey to stay focused in the face of adversity. There are interruptions around every corner. He can “quickly deal with an interruption and then know that it’s Tuesday. I have product meetings and I need to focus on product stuff.”
But what about his trick to being practiced?
Each morning Dorsey jumps straight out of bed into an ice bath to shock his body into a state of alertness. As well, he saves time by not bothering with breakfast or lunch, eating just one meal a day between the hours of 6:30 and 9 p.m.
Even while working two full-time jobs, it’s comforting to know that Dorsey is still human and takes time to relax. How do you stay productive and still relax? By fitting two hours of meditation into your routine each day.
3) Oprah Winfrey: “Oh, I’m alive. Thank you.”
Oprah rises naturally without an alarm around 6 a.m. The first thought in her head is an expression of gratitude: “Oh, I’m alive. Thank you.”
This may be simple, but it themes the rest of her day to be happy and mindful.
Over coffee, she nourishes her mind with quotes, and poetry to get her day going. Then, with 20 minutes of meditation, she nourishes her soul. Finally, she nourishes her body with a workout to put that spring in her step everyone needs. These practices bring her “hope, and sense of contentment and deep joy.”
Before beginning her workday at 1:30 p.m., she gracefully reduces her to-do list as she pleases. She could be taking phone calls, meeting with friends, or tending to her garden in the sun. She makes sure to complete all her business to-dos before even entering the office. This sets her up along an efficient path.
Upon entering the office at 1:30 she checks in with her executive of O Magazine. Then, her employees, and her friend/CEO of Weight Watchers. Other activities might include checking her finances or completing phone and video calls. In and out within two hours, she works quickly to make sure everything is completed. Then, she can continue her day of mindfulness.
Before bed, she again practices gratitude by writing five things she's grateful for. She counts everything she is blessed to have in life but also reminds herself of everything she has achieved.
4) Kat Cole: “Success is mostly driven by how badly you want something … it has to do with how hungry you are.”
Cole is the president of FOCUS Brands, the parent company of Cinnabon, Carvel, etc. What a busy lady! To combat her stressful days, she has two distinct morning routines: the “on the hotel routine … and home routine.”
When waking up in a hotel, Cole rises at 5 a.m. and drinks 24 ounces of water. Then, walking around the room and looking out the window she plans each step of her day. She checks her major social media platforms, communicating with her followers. Then, jogs her mind with news sites, blogs, and messages that were delivered overnight.
Really, Cole is scouring for urgent business and team needs, relevant news, updates from invested startups. Anything to get the brain pumped up with fuel.
At 6 a.m. if the weather is suiting, she plugs in her headphones for a quick jog. This is followed by 10 minutes of basics in the hotel gym. If the weather is poor, she’ll do yoga or burpees in the room for 30 minutes.
After a cup of coffee, a shower and snack, she is out the door at 8:15 a.m. to attack whatever events the day holds! She is “ready to set the world on ‘fiyah’!”
“Talking, thinking and learning with other humans creates a purposeful start to any day.”
When she is at home, Cole will wake up as late as 7 a.m., have her 24 ounces of water followed by some shots. Aloe, turmeric, or wheatgrass are her favorite (throw some tequila in there for fun??). Then comes a mini yoga session, and she’s out the door with a protein snack in hand by 8 a.m.!
Cole says that at least two days a week she likes to start the day with coffee or breakfast with a friend. Talking, thinking, and learning with others is always important. She likes to meet with coworkers, potential business partners, or a group of local students.
It’s incredible how much Cole packs into her morning routine and how regimented it is! I need to work on getting up early and drinking water. I should also push myself and fit some yoga in there too. She certainly is an inspiring staple to follow.
5) Maya Angelou: “I love to see a [person] go out and grab the world by the lapels. Life's a bitch. You've got to go out and kick ass.”
As a beloved poet, singer, and civil rights activist, Maya Angelou was a voice of courage. She has published seven autobiographies and has an accredited list of plays and movies under her belt. As you can expect, her creative genius called for hard work – Angelou was a master of habit and routine.
Waking up at 5:30 a.m. before the birds had sung their songs, she has a cup of coffee and discusses the day with her husband. At 6:30 a.m. she goes to work in a hotel room located nearby. All she keeps in that room is a dictionary, and a deck of cards with a bottle of sherry for inspiration.
“If the work is going badly, I stay until 12:30. If it’s going well, I stay as long as it’s going well.”
On most days, she will return to home by 2 p.m. for a change of location to read over what she’s read. This allows her to squeeze out any remaining creative sparks and wrap up her notes. She then showers and prepares dinner so that when her husband comes home, she isn’t totally absorbed in work.
With a drink and dinner, Angelou likes to read her husband what she has written that day. “Hearing it aloud is good. Sometimes I hear the dissonance; then I try to straighten it out in the morning.”
Angelou’s routine is one of passion and willingness. She can sit down and work for at least five hours each day. Even when it’s going poorly or she’s experiencing writer’s block. This is just another reminder that great influencers don’t wait for inspiration.
6) Barak Obama: “Get a head start on tomorrow, tonight.”
Rising promptly at 7 a.m., Obama makes sure to share breakfast with his family. Eating with Michelle and his daughters every morning, he spends time with his family before the day begins. He then exercises his brain muscles with the newspaper. Then, his actual muscles with 45 minutes of cardio or weights. Finally, he’s all prepped and ready to enter the oval office at 9 a.m.
Seems like a lot to fit into two hours, on no caffeine (that's right … no caffeine) for the president. That's why he is careful to minimize distractions and decision fatigue: “I don’t want to make decisions about what I’m eating or wearing, because I have too many other decisions to make.” Obama makes sure to organize his time wisely and concern himself only with what matters; don't waste your energy!
During an evening break, before returning to work, Obama makes sure to eat another meal with his family. Then, to avoid further fatigue in the morning, he gets “a head start on tomorrow tonight.”
“After his family retires to bed, Obama often stays up working on odds and ends left over from the day. Chief among his nightly responsibilities is leafing through the binder of his documents that his staff has asked him to review.”
As busy as he is, The President is sure to occupy his time only with important matters. Though, he still manages to conquer the work/life balance. This is all thanks to his solid daily routine.
7) Winston Churchill: “Start the day by working from bed.”
One of the researchers who assisted Churchill in writing his books recalled: “He was totally organized, almost like a clock. His routine was absolutely dictatorial. He set a ruthless timetable each day.” Though, this allowed Churchill to create a relaxing routine which suited his needs as Prime Minister. He was able to stick to this routine for years.
He would rise at 8 a.m. and spend most of the morning in his bed. Here, he would comfortably eat breakfast, catch up on national news, and dictate to his secretaries.
At 11 a.m. he would take one of two daily baths and take a walk in the garden. Feeling refreshed, he would return to his chamber to review books he was writing and complete daily duties.
Dining with family and guests, lunch consisted of a three-course meal and went from 1-3:30 p.m. Then, he would return to work until 5 p.m. – which is when the best part of his day happened … he took a nap! I might need to use Churchill’s routine as an excuse to fit one into my schedule too.
Later, at 8 p.m. he would dine with family and guests for a hearty dinner (which always had champagne and a port or beer). This would last until it was time to work for another hour.
Churchill's clockwork routine allowed him to pack a large amount of variety into his day. He saw everything from relaxation and delicious meals to hard Prime Minister duties. This is something anyone could benefit from … take note!
8) Arianna Huffington: “I treat my transition to sleep as a sacrosanct ritual.”
Fainting from exhaustion and breaking a cheekbone caused her to take her morning and nightly routines quite seriously. Huffington has a refreshing approach on how to get better sleep, and how to function naturally.
“Ninety-five percent of the time I get eight hours of sleep … ninety-five percent of the time I don’t need an alarm to wake up.”
She hates using alarms because of the full-fledged fight-or-flight mode they make you wake up in. They cause a knee-jerk reaction that can stress out the rest of the day. Though, when she must use one, she doesn’t believe in the snooze button, “I always set it for the last possible moment I have to get up.”
Waking up naturally is a great way to start the day. For Huffington, a big part of her morning routine is what she doesn't do. When she opens her eyes, she takes time to breathe deeply, be grateful, and set the mood for the day. She doesn’t immediately look at her phone.
When I read this, it made my head spin! One of my go-to’s in the morning is checking my email, but she doesn’t do that either! Huffington avoids the temptation by not keeping her electric devices in her bedroom. Thankfully, she is on email as soon as she’s on the bike.
After a cup of morning coffee, she refreshes her body with 30 minutes on a stationary bike. Then, she refreshes her mind with 20 minutes of meditation.
This sounds like an incredibly relaxing morning routine. As the founder of The Huffington Post, I would have thought she would dive knee-deep into work the moment her eyes opened. However, the key to a relaxing morning lies in the heart of her nightly routine. It lies in her quality of sleep.
First, she shuts off all electric devices and escorts them out of the bedroom. Then, to relax she takes a warm bath with Epsom salts, candles, and perhaps a poetry book nearby. Getting ready for bed, she no longer sleeps in her workout clothes. This sends mixed signals to her brain and affects the quality of sleep. After a cup of chamomile tea and a physical book, she is promptly in bed by 11 p.m. to "catch the midnight train."
Huffington’s sacrosanct ritual leaves her feeling revitalized each morning, allowing her to rise without an alarm and ready to kick ass the next day.
9) Benjamin Franklin: “Morning question: What good shall I do this day? Evening question: What good have I done today?”
Benjamin Franklin is known as being keen on self-improvement. One of his most famous plans for self-development was a 13-week outline to achieve "moral perfection." Each week he would focus on a new aspect of his virtues – cleanliness, moderation, temperance, etc. – while he tracked his progress on a chart. He thought if he devoted himself to a virtue for an entire week, it would become a habit. He would move on week after week until he had completely reformed himself.
Franklin also set himself to a strict daily routine. He would cut-out time for work, music, eating, and sleep all for specific times of the day. Though, the demands of his printing business made it difficult to always stick to his routines, so he created a chart to help hold himself accountable.
One element of his daily routine created years after the previous schedule, was the addition of an "air bath" to calm his senses and help him sleep.
“I rise early almost every morning, and sit in my chamber without any clothes whatever, half an hour or an hour, according to the season, either reading or writing. This practice is not in the least painful, but on the contrary, agreeable; and if I return to bed afterward, before I dress, as sometimes happens, I make a supplement to my night's rest, of one or two hours of the most pleasing sleep that can be imagined.”
Being a restless sleeper myself, I am interested to try this! Who will join me and see if you can have the “most pleasing sleep that can be imagined?” … I should probably start by putting away Netflix before bed.

7 Top Tips for Designing Your Own Routine:
1) Track your habits
Understanding how you are living now can help you decide how you want to live in the future. Track your daily tasks, and then as yourself some questions:
  1. What are you doing right now that you want to change?
  2. How much time do you spend in your activities throughout the day?
  3. What could you be more efficient in?
Your answers will put you on the path to your ideal routine. If you can make the effort for a few days, you will find the insights you need to create something amazing. Even if you don’t feel ready, start now!
2) Prevent Procrastination
What distracts you the most? For me, it’s those addictive little games on my phone. If I hit a stressful spot in work, I tend to pick up my phone and start playing … that's why I put a lock on those apps while I'm working.
Get rid of distractions! This means both in the work area and right before you go to bed. Take Arianna Huffington’s advice and move the electronics out of the bedroom. Not only will this protect you from the insomnia-inducing blue light, but you won’t stay up as late checking Facebook.
3) Know Yourself and Schedule Accordingly
Did you think that night owls and early birds are real? Turns out that some people actually do work better at night, and some work better in the morning.
German scientists recently found that early birds have a different brain composition than night owls which affects their circadian rhythm and sleep schedule. This affects how alert you are through the day too.
If you are a night owl and are more productive at night, work later in the day. If you are an early bird and are more productive in the morning, work in the morning. Simple.
4) Practice Self-Care
This is one of the most underestimated factors of a routine and I can’t stress the need for this enough. Now, practicing self-care doesn’t mean binging Netflix at night, or eating your favorite ice cream because “you love yourself.” Try meditation, try exercising, make sure you get enough sleep and eat regular meals!
Just 10 minutes of meditation in the morning helps me to focus my day, clear my mind, and get out of that nasty morning dreariness. As well, I like to meditate for 10 minutes just before bed to get my mind in the right state.
Regular exercise can help to improve your mood, brain function, and energy levels! If you hit a creative block in your work, get up and go for a 15-minute walk. If you have enough time, get up for an early morning workout, or break up your day with the gym! Remember to do what works best for you.
Getting enough sleep is important, as we have heard from Arianna Huffington. But an alarm to wake you up in the morning might not be enough. Try setting an alarm for when it’s time to go to bed so your body can get into a natural rhythm.
o Love yourself the real way!
5) Prepare your meals in advance
Meal prepping can help you save time where you would normally need to cook a meal. But don’t worry, these don’t have to be the same boring meals every day! Here are some fun ideas to make your day easier:
If you decide to only prep your lunches and dinners, an easy breakfast can still be healthy. Here are some nutritious meal ideas that are easy to prepare. You can enjoy them at home or when you’re running out of the door!
6) Develop a morning routine you can use on the weekends
A morning routine can help you start your day in the best way; this means the weekends too!
Allowing for some imperfections in the weekend is important (who isn't guilty of sleeping in). I've continuously made the mistake of having a weekend wake-up time much later than on the weekdays. I realized that this was throwing off my Monday's. I was tired in the mornings, I wouldn't get the usual work done, and it would throw off the rest of the week.
Allow yourself to wake up an hour or so later than normal, but don’t over-stress your body. Remember to take care of yourself and don’t fall out of the routine!
7) Test drive your new routine!
You’ve created your new routine, woohoo! Now is the time to keep going, you’re almost to the mile mark!
Test it out for 30 days, then reflect:
  1. How do you feel?
  2. Are your activities scheduled at times that make sense?
Tweak anything not working for you and re-assess again after 30 days.

Key Takeaways From our Motivators:
1) Work your ass off but remember the ones who love you.
o GaryVee reminds us of the importance of hard work. He consumes news, fits in a hardcore morning workout, and still makes time to call his mom. Anyone can make use of their time; it just depends on how driven you are to make your time work for you.
2) Dedicate yourself to what you do. Practice your dedication.
o Jack Dorsey shows us what it means to be very dedicated and practiced. It would help all of us to focus on one aspect of our lives each day, just as he does. Schedule a priority for a certain day in the week to streamline his focus and aid when interruptions come knocking. As Dorsey does … remember to leave room for relaxation.
3) Be thankful, for life is a gift.
o Oprah proves to us that there is a higher meaning in life than work, work, work. The simple things in life, like tending to the garden, are what matter. It helps to appreciate everything that comes your way with a thought of gratitude, happiness, and mindfulness. Be happy with what you do. Remind yourself of how far you have come.
4) Your body and mind are the keys to success
o As said by Kat Cole, success is about how hungry you are. Internalize that hunger. Feel that hunger. But remember you come first. Get your water in the morning, be active, and walk out of that door with a positive attitude and a drive to succeed. Take care of yourself and you’ll be able to attack anything thrown at you. Set the world on “fiyah!”
5) Don’t Wait for Inspiration
o Reminded by Maya Angelou: great influencers don’t wait for inspiration. They harness their power and make inspiration come to them. A great way to do this is by acting creatively in everything you do. Start by making time for those who care to help you, even if it just reading aloud to them. And when the work gets tough, remember, no one great ever got anywhere without a little struggle.
6) Avoid simple distractions
o As said by Barak Obama, “get a head start on tomorrow, tonight.” The night before, he reviews everything he has done that day and plans out what he will do the next day. Even outside of work he likes to avoid simple distractions. This means laying out his clothes for the morning and eating a simple breakfast every day to get a quick head start.
7) Create a schedule that benefits you
o Winston Churchill spends the greater part of his morning in bed. Sounds pretty great, right? This is because he has created a schedule that works for him! He treats his days like clockwork, allotting certain times for each activity. Being the Prime Minister, this allows him to get everything done and more.
8) Routines to sleep well are just as important as routines to work well.
o Arianna Huffington shows us exactly how important your sleep is. Without it you won’t function well, and you’ll feel run down all day. Try keeping the electronics out of the bedroom and opt in for 20 minutes of meditation and a good book.
9) What good have you done today?
Create a plan to master your time and experiment with self-betterment, just like Benjamin Franklin. Franklin even had a schedule to master his time! He reminds us to plan our day with a morning question: “What good shall I do this day?” And end our day with review: “What good have I done today?”
submitted by trevormcmahon to productivity [link] [comments]


2019.04.07 06:24 The_Web_Of_Slime Mockingbird X.0

Imagine if there was one desk that all stories could cross so that, at 4am, a media plan could be decided upon and disseminated where all news outlets coordinated to set the goalposts of debate and hyper focused on specific issues to drive a narrative to control how you vote and how you spend money; where Internet shills were given marching orders in tandem to what was shown on television, printed in newspapers and spread throughout articles on the World Wide Web.
https://i.imgur.com/Elnci0M.png
In the past, we had Operation Mockingbird, where the program was supremely confident that it could control stories around the world, even in instructions to cover up any story about a possible “Yeti” sighting, should it turn out they were real.
https://i.imgur.com/121LXqy.png
If, in 1959, the government was confident in its ability to control a story about a Yeti, then what is their level of confidence in controlling stories, today?
https://i.imgur.com/jQFVYew.png
https://i.imgur.com/ZKMYGJj.png
In fact, we have a recent example of a situation similar to the Yeti. When Bill Clinton and Loretta Lynch met on the TARMAC to spike the Hillary email investigation, the FBI was so confident it wasn’t them, that their entire focus was finding the leaker, starting with searching within the local PD. We have documentation that demonstrates the state of mind of the confidence the upper levels of the FBI have when dealing with the media.
https://i.imgur.com/IbjDOkI.png
https://i.imgur.com/NH86ozU.png
The marriage between mainstream media and government is a literal one and this arrangement is perfectly legal.
https://i.imgur.com/OAd4vpf.png
But, this problem extends far beyond politics; the private sector, the scientific community, even advice forums are shilled heavily. People are paid to cause anxiety, recommend people break up and otherwise sow depression and nervousness. This is due to a correlating force that employs “systems psychodynamics”, focusing on “tension centered” strategies to create “organizational paradoxes” by targeting people’s basic assumptions about the world around them to create division and provide distraction.
https://i.imgur.com/6OEWYFN.png
https://i.imgur.com/iG4sdD4.png
https://i.imgur.com/e89Rx6B.png
https://i.imgur.com/uotm9Cg.png
https://i.imgur.com/74wt9tD.png
In this day and age, it is even easier to manage these concepts and push a controlled narrative from a central figure than it has ever been. Allen & Co is a “boutique investment firm” that managed the merger between Disney and Fox and operates as an overseeing force for nearly all media and Internet shill armies, while having it’s fingers in sports, social media, video games, health insurance, etc.
https://i.imgur.com/zlpBh3c.png
https://i.imgur.com/e5ZvFFJ.png
Former director of the CIA and Paul Brennan’s former superior George Tenet, holds the reigns of Allen & Co. The cast of characters involves a lot of the usual suspects.
https://i.imgur.com/3OlrX7G.png
In 1973, Allen & Company bought a stake in Columbia Pictures. When the business was sold in 1982 to Coca-Cola, it netted a significant profit. Since then, Herbert Allen, Jr. has had a place on Coca-Cola's board of directors.
Since its founding in 1982, the Allen & Company Sun Valley Conference has regularly drawn high-profile attendees such as Bill Gates, Warren Buffett, Rupert Murdoch, Barry Diller, Michael Eisner, Oprah Winfrey, Robert Johnson, Andy Grove, Richard Parsons, and Donald Keough.
Allen & Co. was one of ten underwriters for the Google initial public offering in 2004. In 2007, Allen was sole advisor to Activision in its $18 billion merger with Vivendi Games. In 2011, the New York Mets hired Allen & Co. to sell a minority stake of the team. That deal later fell apart. In November 2013, Allen & Co. was one of seven underwriters on the initial public offering of Twitter. Allen & Co. was the adviser of Facebook in its $19 billion acquisition of WhatsApp in February 2014.
In 2015, Allen & Co. was the advisor to Time Warner in its $80 billion 2015 merger with Charter Communications, AOL in its acquisition by Verizon, Centene Corporation in its $6.8 billion acquisition of Health Net, and eBay in its separation from PayPal.
In 2016, Allen & Co was the lead advisor to Time Warner in its $108 billion acquisition by AT&T, LinkedIn for its merger talks with Microsoft, Walmart in its $3.3 billion purchase of Jet.com, and Verizon in its $4.8 billion acquisition of Yahoo!. In 2017, Allen & Co. was the advisor to Chewy.com in PetSmart’s $3.35 billion purchase of the online retailer.
Allen & Co throws the Sun Valley Conference every year where you get a glimpse of who sows up. Harvey Weinstein, though a past visitor, was not invited last year.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Allen_%26_Company_Sun_Valley_Conference
Previous conference guests have included Bill and Melinda Gates, Warren and Susan Buffett, Tony Blair, Google founders Larry Page and Sergey Brin, Allen alumnus and former Philippine Senator Mar Roxas, Google Chairman Eric Schmidt, Quicken Loans Founder & Chairman Dan Gilbert, Yahoo! co-founder Jerry Yang, financier George Soros, Facebook founder Mark Zuckerberg, Media Mogul Rupert Murdoch, eBay CEO Meg Whitman, BET founder Robert Johnson, Time Warner Chairman Richard Parsons, Nike founder and chairman Phil Knight, Dell founder and CEO Michael Dell, NBA player LeBron James, Professor and Entrepreneur Sebastian Thrun, Governor Chris Christie, entertainer Dan Chandler, Katharine Graham of The Washington Post, Diane Sawyer, InterActiveCorp Chairman Barry Diller, Linkedin co-founder Reid Hoffman, entrepreneur Wences Casares, EXOR and FCA Chairman John Elkann, Sandro Salsano from Salsano Group, and Washington Post CEO Donald E. Graham, Ivanka Trump and Jared Kushner, and Oprah Winfrey.
https://i.imgur.com/VZ0OtFa.png
George Tenet, with the reigns of Allen & Co in his hands, is able to single-handedly steer the entire Mockingbird apparatus from cable television to video games to Internet shills from a singular location determining the spectrum of allowable debate. Not only are they able to target people’s conscious psychology, they can target people’s endocrine systems with food and pornography; where people are unaware, on a conscious level, of how their moods and behavior are being manipulated.
https://i.imgur.com/mA3MzTB.png
"The problem with George Tenet is that he doesn't seem to care to get his facts straight. He is not meticulous. He is willing to make up stories that suit his purposes and to suppress information that does not."
"Sadly but fittingly, 'At the Center of the Storm' is likely to remind us that sometimes what lies at the center of a storm is a deafening silence."
https://i.imgur.com/YHMJnnP.png
Tenet joined President-elect Bill Clinton's national security transition team in November 1992. Clinton appointed Tenet Senior Director for Intelligence Programs at the National Security Council, where he served from 1993 to 1995. Tenet was appointed Deputy Director of Central Intelligence in July 1995. Tenet held the position as the DCI from July 1997 to July 2004. Citing "personal reasons," Tenet submitted his resignation to President Bush on June 3, 2004. Tenet said his resignation "was a personal decision and had only one basis—in fact, the well-being of my wonderful family—nothing more and nothing less. In February 2008, he became a managing director at investment bank Allen & Company.
https://i.imgur.com/JnGHqOS.png
We have the documentation that demonstrates what these people could possibly be doing with all of these tools of manipulation at their fingertips.
The term for it is “covert political action” for which all media put before your eyes is used to serve as a veneer… a reality TV show facade of a darker modus operandum.
https://i.imgur.com/vZC4D29.png
https://www.cia.gov/library/center-for-the-study-of-intelligence/kent-csi/vol36no3/html/v36i3a05p_0001.htm
It is now clear that we are facing an implacable enemy whose avowed objective is world domination by whatever means and at whatever costs. There are no rules in such a game. Hitherto acceptable norms of human conduct do not apply. If the US is to survive, longstanding American concepts of "fair play" must be reconsidered. We must develop effective espionage and counterespionage services and must learn to subvert, sabotage and destroy our enemies by more clever, more sophisticated means than those used against us. It may become necessary that the American people be made acquainted with, understand and support this fundamentally repugnant philosophy.
http://www.nbcnews.com/id/3340677/t/cia-operatives-shadowy-war-force/
Intelligence historian Jeffrey T. Richelson says the S.A. has covered a variety of missions. The group, which recently was reorganized, has had about 200 officers, divided among several groups: the Special Operations Group; the Foreign Training Group, which trains foreign police and intelligence officers; the Propaganda and Political Action Group, which handles disinformation; the Computer Operations Group, which handles information warfare; and the Proprietary Management Staff, which manages whatever companies the CIA sets up as covers for the S.A.
Scientology as a CIA Political Action Group – “It is a continuing arrangement…”: https://mikemcclaughry.wordpress.com/2015/08/25/scientology-as-a-cia-political-action-group-it-is-a-continuing-arrangement/
…Those operations we inaugurated in the years 1955-7 are still secret, but, for present purposes, I can say all that’s worth saying about them in a few sentences – after, that is, I offer these few words of wisdom. The ‘perfect’ political action operation is, by definition, uneventful. Nothing ‘happens’ in it. It is a continuing arrangement, neither a process nor a series of actions proceeding at a starting point and ending with a conclusion.
CIA FBI NSA Personnel Active in Scientology: https://i.imgur.com/acu2Eti.png
When you consider the number of forces that can be contained within a single “political action group” in the form on a “boutique investment firm,” where all sides of political arguments are predetermined by a selected group of actors who have been planted, compromised or leveraged in some way in order to control the way they spin their message.
https://i.imgur.com/tU4MD4S.png
The evidence of this coordinated effort is overwhelming and the “consensus” that you see on TV, in sports, in Hollywood, in the news and on the Internet is fabricated.
Under the guise of a fake account a posting is made which looks legitimate and is towards the truth is made - but the critical point is that it has a VERY WEAK PREMISE without substantive proof to back the posting. Once this is done then under alternative fake accounts a very strong position in your favour is slowly introduced over the life of the posting. It is IMPERATIVE that both sides are initially presented, so the uninformed reader cannot determine which side is the truth. As postings and replies are made the stronger 'evidence' or disinformation in your favour is slowly 'seeded in.'
Thus the uninformed reader will most likely develop the same position as you, and if their position is against you their opposition to your posting will be most likely dropped. However in some cases where the forum members are highly educated and can counter your disinformation with real facts and linked postings, you can then 'abort' the consensus cracking by initiating a 'forum slide.'
When you find yourself feeling like common sense and common courtesy aren’t as common as they ought to be, it is because there is a massive psychological operation controlled from the top down to ensure that as many people as possible are caught in a “tension based” mental loop that is inflicted on them by people acting with purpose to achieve goals that are not in the interest of the general population, but a method of operating in secret and corrupt manner without consequences.
Notice that Jeffrey Katzenberg, of Disney, who is intertwined with Allen & Co funds the Young Turks. He is the perfect example of the relationship between media and politics.
Katzenberg has also been involved in politics. With his active support of Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama, he was called "one of Hollywood's premier political kingmakers and one of the Democratic Party's top national fundraisers."
With cash from Jeffrey Katzenberg, The Young Turks looks to grow paid subscribers:
https://digiday.com/media/with-cash-from-katzenberg-the-young-turks-look-to-grow-paid-subscribers/
Last week, former DreamWorks Animation CEO Jeffrey Katzenberg’s new mobile entertainment company WndrCo was part of a $20 million funding round in TYT Network, which oversees 30 news and commentary shows covering politics, pop culture, sports and more. This includes the flagship “The Young Turks” program that streams live on YouTube every day. Other investors in the round included venture capital firms Greycroft Partners, E.ventures and 3L Capital, which led the round. This brings total funding for Young Turks to $24 million.
How Hollywood's Political Donors Are Changing Strategies for the Trump Era:
https://www.hollywoodreporter.com/features/hollywood-political-donors-are-changing-strategy-post-trump-1150545
Hollywood activism long has been depicted as a club controlled by a handful of powerful white men: Katzenberg, Spielberg, Lear, David Geffen, Haim Saban and Bob Iger are the names most often mentioned. But a new generation of power brokers is ascendant, including J.J. Abrams and his wife, Katie McGrath, cited for their personal donations and bundling skills; Shonda Rhimes, who held a get-out-the-vote rally at USC's Galen Center on Sept. 28 that drew 10,000 people; CAA's Darnell Strom, who has hosted events for Nevada congresswoman Jacky Rosen and Arizona congresswoman Kyrsten Sinema; and former Spotify executive Troy Carter, who held three fundraisers for Maryland gubernatorial candidate Ben Jealous (Carter also was a fundraiser for President Obama).
Soros Group Buys Viacom's DreamWorks Film Library:
https://www.forbes.com/2006/03/17/soros-viacom-dreamworks-cx_gl_0317autofacescan11.html#541a895f1f22
Viacom, after splitting off from Les Moonves Les Moonves ' CBS , still holds Paramount Pictures, and that movie studio in December agreed to acquire DreamWorks SKG, the creative shop founded by the Hollywood triumvirate of Steven Spielberg, David Geffen and Jeffrey Katzenberg (a former exec at The Walt Disney Co.). DreamWorks Animation had been spun off into a separate company.
Now it's time for Freston to make back some money--and who better to do a little business with than George Soros? The billionaire financier leads a consortium of Soros Strategic Partners LP and Dune Entertainment II LLC, which together are buying the DreamWorks library--a collection of 59 flicks, including Saving Private Ryan, Gladiator, and American Beauty.
The money you spend on media and junk food and in taxes goes to these groups who then decide how best to market at you so that they decide how you vote by creating a fake consensus to trick into thinking that you want something other than what is best for you; but will inevitably result in more money being funneled to the top, creating further separation between the super rich and the average person. The goal will be to assert creeping authoritarianism by generating outrage against policies and issues they hate. Part of manipulating your basic assumptions is also to use schadenfreude (think canned laughter on TV) against characters who support the cause that might actually do you the most good (which reaffirms and strengthens your confirmation biased along predetermined political lines).
https://i.imgur.com/PW1cRtj.png
We have a population being taught to hate socialism and love capitalism when the truth is no country is practicing either. These terms are merely disguises for political oligarchies where the collection of wealth is less about getting themselves rich and more about keeping everyone else poor.
What can you guess about the world around you if it turned out that every consensus that was forced on you was fake?
How much money would it take to make it look like 51% of the Internet believed in completely idiotic ideas? Combine shill operations with automation and AI’s, and the cost becomes a good investment relative to the return when measured in political power.
Even the people who are well intentioned and very vocal do not have to consciously be aware that they are working for a political action group. A covert political group will always prefer an unwitting tool to help push their agenda, so that they can remain in the shadows.
FDA Admonishes Drug Maker Over Kim Kardashian Instagram Endorsement https://www.forbes.com/sites/davidkroll/2015/08/11/fda-spanks-drug-maker-over-kim-kardashian-instagram-endorsement/#25174a29587b
The OSS files offer details about other agents than famous chef, Julia Child; including Supreme Court Justice Arthur Goldberg, major league catcher Moe Berg, historian Arthur Schlesinger Jr., and actor Sterling Hayden. http://www.nbcnews.com/id/26186498/ns/us_news-security/t/julia-child-cooked-double-life-spy/
USA Today: Businesses and organizations may refer to it as a tool for competitive advantage and marketing; but make no mistake http://archive.is/37tK3
Shareblue accounts caught in /politics posting links to Shareblue without disclosing their affiliation http://archive.is/7HAkr
Psy Group developed elaborate information operations for commercial clients and political candidates around the world http://archive.is/BBblQ
Top mod of /Mechanical_Gifs tries to sell subreddit on ebay for 999.00 dollars. http://archive.is/kU1Ly
Shill posts picture of a dog in a hammock with the brand clearly visible without indicating that it's an ad in the title of the post http://archive.is/Mfdk9
Arstechnica: GCHQs menu of tools spreads disinformation across Internet- “Effects capabilities” allow analysts to twist truth subtly or spam relentlessly. http://arstechnica.com/security/2014/07/ghcqs-chinese-menu-of-tools-spread-disinformation-across-internet/
Samsung Electronics Fined for Fake Online Comments http://bits.blogs.nytimes.com/2013/10/24/samsung-electronics-fined-for-fake-online-comments/?_r=0
Discover Magazine: Researchers Uncover Twitter Bot Army That’s 350 http://blogs.discovermagazine.com/d-brief/2017/01/20/twitter-bot-army/?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed%3A%20DiscoverTechnology%20%28Discover%20Technology%29#.WIMl-oiLTnA
Times of Israel - The internet: Israel’s new PR battlefield http://blogs.timesofisrael.com/the-rise-of-digital-diplomacy-could-be-changing-israels-media-image/
Time: Social Media Manipulation? When “Indie” Bloggers and Businesses Get Cozy http://business.time.com/2013/04/22/social-media-manipulation-when-indie-bloggers-and-businesses-get-cozy/
Content-Driven Detection of Campaigns in Social Media [PDF] http://faculty.cs.tamu.edu/caverlee/pubs/lee11cikm.pdf
the law preventing them from using this in America was repealed http://foreignpolicy.com/2013/07/14/u-s-repeals-propaganda-ban-spreads-government-made-news-to-americans/
Redditor who works for a potato mailing company admits to being a shill. He shows off his 27 thousand dollars he made in /pics
http://i.imgur.com/CcTHwdS.png
Screenshot of post since it was removed. http://i.imgur.com/k9g0WF8.png
Just thought I'd contribute to this thread http://imgur.com/OpSos4u
CNN: A PR firm has revealed that it is behind two blogs that previously appeared to be created by independent supporters of Wal-Mart. The blogs Working Families for Wal-mart and subsidiary site Paid Critics are written by 3 employees of PR firm Edelman http://money.cnn.com/2006/10/20/news/companies/walmart_blogs/index.htm
Vice: Your Government Wants to Militarize Social Media to Influence Your Beliefs http://motherboard.vice.com/read/your-government-wants-to-militarize-social-media-to-influence-your-beliefs
BBC News: China's Internet spin doctors http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/7783640.stm
BBC News: US plans to 'fight the net' revealed http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/americas/4655196.stm
Wall Street Journal: Turkey's Government Forms 6 http://online.wsj.com/news/articles/SB10001424127887323527004579079151479634742?mg=reno64-wsj&url=http%3A%2F%2Fonline.wsj.com%2Farticle%2FSB10001424127887323527004579079151479634742.html
Fake product reviews may be pervasive http://phys.org/news/2013-07-fake-product-pervasive.html#nRlv
USA Today: The co-owner of a major Pentagon propaganda contractor publicly admitted that he was behind a series of websites used in an attempt to discredit two USA TODAY journalists who had reported on the contractor. http://usatoday30.usatoday.com/news/military/story/2012-05-24/Leonie-usa-today-propaganda-pentagon/55190450/1
ADWEEK: Marketing on Reddit Is Scary http://www.adweek.com/news/technology/marketing-reddit-scary-these-success-stories-show-big-potential-168278
BBC- How online chatbots are already tricking you- Intelligent machines that can pass for humans have long been dreamed of http://www.bbc.com/future/story/20140609-how-online-bots-are-tricking-you
BBC news: Amazon targets 1 http://www.bbc.com/news/technology-34565631
BBC: More than four times as many tweets were made by automated accounts in favour of Donald Trump around the first US presidential debate as by those backing Hillary Clinton http://www.bbc.com/news/technology-37684418
Fake five-star reviews being bought and sold online - Fake online reviews are being openly traded on the internet
http://www.bbc.com/news/technology-43907695
http://www.bbc.com/news/world-asia-20982985
http://www.bbc.com/news/world-asia-20982985
Bloomberg: How to Hack an Election [and influence voters with fake social media accounts] http://www.bloomberg.com/features/2016-how-to-hack-an-election/
"Internet Reputation Management http://www.bloomberg.com/news/articles/2008-04-30/do-reputation-management-services-work-businessweek-business-news-stock-market-and-financial-advice
Buzzfeed: Documents Show How Russia’s Troll Army Hit America http://www.buzzfeed.com/maxseddon/documents-show-how-russias-troll-army-hit-america#.ki8Mz97ly
The Rise of Social Bots http://www.cacm.acm.org/magazines/2016/7/204021-the-rise-of-social-bots/fulltext
CBC News- Canadian government monitors online forums http://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/bureaucrats-monitor-online-forums-1.906351
Chicago Tribune: Nutrition for sale: How Kellogg worked with 'independent experts' to tout cereal http://www.chicagotribune.com/business/ct-kellogg-independent-experts-cereal-20161121-story.html
DailyKos: HBGary: Automated social media management http://www.dailykos.com/story/2011/02/16/945768/-UPDATED-The-HB-Gary-Email-That-Should-Concern-Us-All
Meme Warfare Center http://www.dtic.mil/dtic/tfulltext/u2/a507172.pdf
Shilling on Reddit is openly admitted to in this Forbes article http://www.forbes.com/sites/julesschroede2016/03/10/the-magic-formula-behind-going-viral-on-reddit/#1d2485b05271
Forbes: From Tinder Bots To 'Cuban Twitter' http://www.forbes.com/sites/kashmirhill/2014/04/17/from-tinder-bots-to-covert-social-networks-welcome-to-cognitive-hacking/#4b78e2d92a7d
Hivemind http://www.hivemind.cc/rank/shills
Huffington Post- Exposing Cyber Shills and Social Media's Underworld http://www.huffingtonpost.com/sam-fiorella/cyber-shills_b_2803801.html
The Independent: Massive British PR firm caught on video: "We've got all sorts of dark arts...The ambition is to drown that negative content and make sure that you have positive content online." They discuss techniques for managing reputations online and creating/maintaining 3rd-party blogs that seem independent. http://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/politics/caught-on-camera-top-lobbyists-boasting-how-they-influence-the-pm-6272760.html
New York Times: Lifestyle Lift http://www.nytimes.com/2009/07/15/technology/internet/15lift.html?_r=1&emc=eta1
New York Times: Give Yourself 5 Stars? Online http://www.nytimes.com/2013/09/23/technology/give-yourself-4-stars-online-it-might-cost-you.html?src=me&ref=general
NY Times- From a nondescript office building in St. Petersburg http://www.nytimes.com/2015/06/07/magazine/the-agency.html?_r=1
NY Times: Effort to Expose Russia’s ‘Troll Army’ Draws Vicious Retaliation http://www.nytimes.com/2016/05/31/world/europe/russia-finland-nato-trolls.html?_r=1
PBS Frontline Documentary - Generation Like http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/frontline/film/generation-like/
Gamers promote gaming-gambling site on youtube by pretending to hit jackpot without disclosing that they own the site. They tried to retroactively write a disclosure covering their tracks http://www.pcgamer.com/csgo-lotto-investigation-uncovers-colossal-conflict-of-interest/
Raw Story: CENTCOM engages bloggers http://www.rawstory.com/news/2006/Raw_obtains_CENTCOM_email_to_bloggers_1016.html
Raw Story: Air Force ordered software to manage army of fake virtual people http://www.rawstory.com/rs/2011/02/18/revealed-air-force-ordered-software-to-manage-army-of-fake-virtual-people/
Redective http://www.redective.com/?r=e&a=search&s=subreddit&t=redective&q=shills
Salon: Why Reddit moderators are censoring Glenn Greenwald’s latest news story on shills http://www.salon.com/2014/02/28/why_reddit_moderators_are_censoring_glenn_greenwalds_latest_bombshell_partne
The Atlantic: Kim Kardashian was paid to post a selfie on Instagram and Twitter advertising a pharmaceutical product. Sent to 42 million followers on Instagram and 32 million on Twitter http://www.theatlantic.com/health/archive/2015/09/fda-drug-promotion-social-media/404563/
WAR.COM: THE INTERNET AND PSYCHOLOGICAL OPERATIONS http://www.theblackvault.com/documents/ADA389269.pdf
The Guardian: Internet Astroturfing http://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/libertycentral/2010/dec/13/astroturf-libertarians-internet-democracy
The Guardian: Israel ups the stakes in the propaganda war http://www.theguardian.com/media/2006/nov/20/mondaymediasection.israel
Operation Earnest Voice http://www.theguardian.com/technology/2011/ma17/us-spy-operation-social-networks
The Guardian: British army creates team of Facebook warriors http://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2015/jan/31/british-army-facebook-warriors-77th-brigade
The Guardian: US military studied how to influence Twitter [and Reddit] users in Darpa-funded research [2014] http://www.theguardian.com/world/2014/jul/08/darpa-social-networks-research-twitter-influence-studies
The Guardian: Chinese officials flood the Chinese internet with positive social media posts to distract their population http://www.theguardian.com/world/2016/may/20/chinese-officials-create-488m-social-media-posts-a-year-study-finds
Times of Israel: Israeli government paying bilingual students to spread propaganda online primarily to international communities without having to identify themselves as working for the government. "The [student] union will operate computer rooms for the project...it was decided to establish a permanent structure of activity on the Internet through the students at academic institutions in the country." http://www.timesofisrael.com/pmo-stealthily-recruiting-students-for-online-advocacy/
USA Today: Lord & Taylor settles FTC charges over paid Instagram posts http://www.usatoday.com/story/money/2016/03/15/lord--taylor-settles-ftc-charges-over-paid-instagram-posts/81801972/
Researcher's algorithm weeds out people using multiple online accounts to spread propaganda - Based on word choice http://www.utsa.edu/today/2016/10/astroturfing.html
http://www.webinknow.com/2008/12/the-us-air-force-armed-with-social-media.html
Wired: Powered by rapid advances in artificial intelligence http://www.wired.co.uk/magazine/archive/2015/06/wired-world-2015/robot-propaganda
Wired: Clinton Staff and Volunteers Busted for Astroturfing [in 2007] http://www.wired.com/2007/12/clinton-staff-a/
Wired: Pro-Government Twitter Bots Try to Hush Mexican Activists http://www.wired.com/2015/08/pro-government-twitter-bots-try-hush-mexican-activists/
Wired: Microsoft http://www.wired.com/2015/09/ftc-machinima-microsoft-youtube/
Wired: Military Report: Secretly ‘Recruit or Hire Bloggers’ http://www.wired.com/dangerroom/2008/03/report-recruit/
Wired: Air Force Releases ‘Counter-Blog’ Marching Orders http://www.wired.com/dangerroom/2009/01/usaf-blog-respo/
Reddit Secrets https://archive.fo/NAwBx
Reddit Secrets https://archive.fo/SCWN7
Boostupvotes.com https://archive.fo/WdbYQ
"Once we isolate key people https://archive.is/PoUMo
GCHQ has their own internet shilling program https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Joint_Threat_Research_Intelligence_Group
Russia https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/State-sponsored_Internet_sockpuppetry
US also operates in conjunction with the UK to collect and share intelligence data https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/UKUSA_Agreement
Glenn Greenwald: How Covert Agents Infiltrate the Internet to Manipulate https://firstlook.org/theintercept/2014/02/24/jtrig-manipulation/
Glenn Greenwald: Hacking Online Polls and Other Ways British Spies Seek to Control the Internet https://firstlook.org/theintercept/2014/07/14/manipulating-online-polls-ways-british-spies-seek-control-internet/
Here is a direct link to your image for the benefit of mobile users https://imgur.com/OpSos4u.jpg
Reddit for iPhone https://itunes.apple.com/us/app/reddit-the-official-app/id1064216828?mt=8
Why Satoshi Nakamoto Has Gone https://medium.com/@ducktatosatoshi-nakamoto-has-gone-4cef923d7acd
What I learned selling my Reddit accounts https://medium.com/@Rob79/what-i-learned-selling-my-reddit-accounts-c5e9f6348005#.u5zt0mti3
Artificial intelligence chatbots will overwhelm human speech online; the rise of MADCOMs https://medium.com/artificial-intelligence-policy-laws-and-ethics/artificial-intelligence-chatbots-will-overwhelm-human-speech-online-the-rise-of-madcoms-e007818f31a1
How Reddit Got Huge: Tons of Fake Accounts - According to Reddit cofounder Steve Huffman https://motherboard.vice.com/en_us/article/how-reddit-got-huge-tons-of-fake-accounts--2
Whistleblower and subsequent investigation: Paid trolls on /Bitcoin https://np.reddit.com/Bitcoin/comments/34m7yn/professional_bitcoin_trolls_exist/cqwjdlw
Confession of Hillary Shill from /SandersForPresident https://np.reddit.com/conspiracy/comments/3rncq9/confession_of_hillary_shill_from/
Why do I exist? https://np.reddit.com/DirectImageLinkerBot/wiki/index
Already a direct link? https://np.reddit.com/DirectImageLinkerBot/wiki/res_links
Here's the thread. https://np.reddit.com/HailCorporate/comments/3gl8zi/that_potato_mailing_company_is_at_it_again/
/netsec talks about gaming reddit via sockpuppets and how online discourse is (easily) manipulated. https://np.reddit.com/netsec/comments/38wl43/we_used_sock_puppets_in_rnetsec_last_year_and_are
Redditor comes clean about being paid to chat on Reddit. They work to promote a politician https://np.reddit.com/offmychest/comments/3gk56y/i_get_paid_to_chat_on_reddit/
Shill whistleblower https://np.reddit.com/politics/comments/rtr6b/a_very_interesting_insight_into_how_certain/
Russian bots were active on Reddit last year https://np.reddit.com/RussiaLago/comments/76cq4d/exclusive_we_can_now_definitively_state_that/?st=j8s7535j&sh=36805d5d
The Bush and Gore campaigns of 2000 used methods similar to the Chinese government for conducting “guided discussions” in chatrooms designed to influence citizens https://np.reddit.com/shills/comments/3xhoq8/til_the_advent_of_social_media_offers_new_routes/?st=j0o5xr9c&sh=3662f0dc
source paper. https://np.reddit.com/shills/comments/4d3l3s/government_agents_and_their_allies_might_ente
or Click Here. https://np.reddit.com/shills/comments/4kdq7n/astroturfing_information_megathread_revision_8/?st=iwlbcoon&sh=9e44591e Alleged paid shill leaks details of organization and actions.
https://np.reddit.com/shills/comments/4wl19alleged_paid_shill_leaks_details_of_organization/?st=irktcssh&sh=8713f4be
Shill Confessions and Additional Information https://np.reddit.com/shills/comments/5pzcnx/shill_confessions_and_additional_information/?st=izz0ga8r&sh=43621acd
Corporate and governmental manipulation of Wikipedia articles https://np.reddit.com/shills/comments/5sb7pi/new_york_times_corporate_editing_of_wikipedia/?st=iyteny9b&sh=b488263f
Ex -MMA fighter and ex-police officer exposes corrupt police practices https://np.reddit.com/shills/comments/6jn27s/ex_mma_fighter_and_expolice_officer_exposes/
User pushes InfoWars links on Reddit https://np.reddit.com/shills/comments/6uau99/chemicals_in_reddit_are_turning_memes_gay_take/?st=j6r0g2om&sh=96f3dbf4
Some websites use shill accounts to spam their competitor's articles https://np.reddit.com/TheoryOfReddit/comments/1ja4nf/lets_talk_about_those_playing_reddit_with/?st=iunay35w&sh=d841095d
User posts video using GoPro https://np.reddit.com/videos/comments/2ejpbb/yes_it_is_true_i_boiled_my_gopro_to_get_you_this/ck0btnb/?context=3&st=j0qt0xnf&sh=ef13ba81
Fracking shill whistleblower spills the beans on Fracking Internet PR https://np.reddit.com/worldnews/comments/31wo57/the_chevron_tapes_video_shows_oil_giant_allegedly/cq5uhse?context=3
https://i.imgur.com/Q3gjFg9.jpg
https://i.imgur.com/q2uFIV0.jpg
TOP SECRET SPECIAL HANDLING NOFORN
CENTRAL INTELLIGENCE AGENCY
Directorate of Operations
October 16, 1964
MEMORANDUM FOR THE DIRECTOR OF THE CIA
Subject: After action report of
Operation CUCKOO (TS)
INTRODUCTION

1) Operation CUCKOO was part of the overall operation CLEANSWEEP, aimed at eliminating domestic opposition to activities undertaken by the Central Intelligence Agency's special activities division, in main regard to operation GUILLOTINE.

2) Operation CUCKOO was approved by the Joint Chiefs of Staff, Department of Defense and the office of The President of the United States as a covert domestic action to be under taken within the limits of Washington D.C as outlined by Secret Executive Order 37.

3) Following the publishing of the Warren Commission, former special agent Mary Pinchot Meyer (Operation MOCKINGBIRD, Operation SIREN) also was married to Cord Meyer (Operation MOCKINGBIRD, Operation GUILLOTINE) threatened to disclose the details of several Special Activities Divisions' operations, including but not limited to, Operation SIREN and GUILLOTENE.
​1
TOP SECRET SPECIAL HANDLING NOFORN
4) It was deemed necessary by senior Directorate of Operations members to initiate Operation CUCKOO as an extension of Operation CLEANSWEEP on November 30th. After Mary Pinchot Meyer threatened to report her knowledge of Operation GUILLOTENE and the details of her work in Operation SIREN from her affair with the former President.

5) Special Activities Division was given the green light after briefing president Johnson on the situation. The situation report was forwarded to the Department of Defense and the Joint Chiefs of staff, who both approved of the parameters of the operation, as outlined under article C of secret executive order 37 (see attached copy of article).
​PLANNING STAGES
6) 8 members of the special activities division handpicked by operation lead William King Harvey began planning for the operation on October 3rd, with planned execution before October 16th.

7) The (?) of the operation was set as the neighborhood of Georgetown along the Potomac river, where the operators would observe, take note on routines, and eventually carry the operation.

8) After nothing Meyer's routines, Edward "Eddy" Reid was picked as the operation point man who would intersect Meyer on her walk on October 12th, with lead William King Harvey providing long range support if necessary from across the Chesapeake and Ohio canal (see illustration A for detailed map).

9) Edward Reid was planned to be dressed in the manner of a homeless black man, due to his resemblances to local trash collector (later found out to be Raymond Crump) who inhabits the AO and the path that Reid was planned to intersect Meyer.
2
TOP SECRET SPECIAL HANDLING NOFORN
submitted by The_Web_Of_Slime to Intelligence [link] [comments]


2018.08.07 23:00 autobuzzfeedbot 42 Facts About Celebrity Couples That'll Make You Believe In Love

  1. John Legend and Chrissy Teigen fell in love on a vacation to Lake Como in 2007. During the trip, a tour guide took them to a spot on the lake and told them to make a wish. Chrissy asked for John to be the man she marry and have children with. Six years later, they returned to the same spot for their wedding.
  2. Despite it becoming one of the most successful love songs of all time, "All of Me" was actually written by John Legend as a gift to Chrissy a month before their wedding. And, despite being known for her ~snarkiness,~ Chrissy cried when she heard it.
  3. David Beckham knew Victoria was his soulmate before he'd even met her. After seeing the Spice Girls' video for "Say You'll Be There," he pointed to Victoria and told his friend: "That girl there? That's the girl I'm going to marry."
  4. When they finally did meet in the Manchester United player's lounge, David plucked up the courage to ask for Victoria's number. She wrote it down on a London to Manchester plane ticket, and he's kept it to this day.
  5. Ryan Reynolds realised Blake Lively was ~The One~ while they were dancing together in a deserted restaurant.
  6. For Blake, it was the realisation that Ryan is her best friend — the first person she's ever been with who she "likes" as well as loves.
  7. But after Blake gave birth to their first baby, Ryan reached new levels of love for her. Speaking in 2015, he said: “I’m not one for declarations of sentiment across the airwaves, but when we had that baby, I fell more in love with my wife than I’d ever been in my entire life. I couldn’t believe it.”
  8. Blake and Ryan also show their love through the gifts they give each other. Blake once gave Ryan a book of short stories written by loved ones. And he once gifted her a video compilation of all the people who have had an impact on her life.
  9. Ellen DeGeneres and Portia De Rossi met backstage at an awards show, and for Portia it was love at first sight. “She took my breath away,” she later recalled. “That had never happened to me in my entire life, where I saw somebody and experienced all of those things you hear about in songs and read about in poetry.”
  10. When same-sex marriage was legalised four years after they began dating, the pair tied the knot. On their wedding day, Ellen described Portia as: "My anchor, my safety. I'm going to be with her until the day I die."
  11. In fact, Ellen still can't believe how lucky she is to have found Portia. Speaking shortly after they married in 2008, she said: "Sometimes I'll lie in bed at night before I go to sleep, and I just say thank you to whatever, whoever, is out there."
  12. And Portia showed the extent of her love for Ellen when, on her 60th birthday, she acknowledged her wife's dedication to wildlife and set up a campus in her name which would work to save gorillas in Rwanda.
  13. Adam Brody and Leighton Meester might be the '00s TV show pairing of dreams, but they're notoriously private. However, during a Reddit Q&A in 2015, Adam was asked: "How much do you love Leighton?" He answered: "Infinity."
  14. Justin Timberlake frequently finds himself gazing at Jessica Biel and thinking that marrying her was the best decision he'll ever make.
  15. Mila Kunis' first ever kiss was with her now husband, Ashton Kutcher, on That '70s Show. At the time, the pair were just friends and not romantically involved. 17 years later, however, Mila revealed there was something there from the start.
  16. But Mila and Ashton began their relationship as ~friends with benefits.~ Several months into the arrangement, however, Mila realised she was developing feelings for him and so called the whole thing off.
  17. The next day Ashton turned up at Mila's house at eight in the morning, and told her: "Let's move in together." At first, Mila protested that he wasn't ready for such commitment so soon after divorce but then he laid down his trump card and said: "I'm not going to lose you."
  18. Will and Jada Smith prefer the term "life partner" to "husband" or "wife," because they've reached a point where there are no deal breakers in their relationship.
  19. What's more, they even designed their house with a circular floor plan to symbolise their never ending love.
  20. And, this year, they'll have been together for more than half their lives.
  21. Neil Patrick Harris met David Burtka on the street in New York when he bumped into a friend who was hanging out with David. Neil described him as a “brooding James Dean type,” and admired him from afar for years until the relationship ended and the “stars aligned.”
  22. Two years into their relationship, the pair were on their way to an event in New York. David stopped the car and led Neil out onto the street. There, he got down on one knee and proposed. At first, Neil was confused. But then the penny dropped — they were in the exact same spot as when they first met.
  23. These days, the pair talk on the phone "at least eight times a day" and text "25 times a day."
  24. Michelle Obama once said that the key to her marriage lasting was being in a "true partnership" with Barack, in which they both respected each other equally.
  25. And he said that he'd come to learn how to be "thoughtful," and "introspective" so that every aspect of their relationship was equal.
  26. But ultimately for Barack, his love for Michelle can be summed up succinctly: "She is my rock. And I count on her in so many ways, every single day."
  27. Ricky Martin and his husband Jwan Yosef both had exactly the same thought when they first met each other: “I’m marrying this guy.”
  28. Meryl Streep and Don Gummer first met in 1978 after her partner, John Cazale, died of bone cancer. She was invited to move into the empty apartment of her brother’s friend Don, who was away travelling. When he returned, she ended up staying and then getting married. Four children and 40 years of marriage later, the pair are more in love than ever.
  29. Oprah Winfrey and her partner Stedman Graham have been together for 32 years, and the talk show host maintains their relationship has lasted because he supports her rather than being intimidated by her.
  30. When she has to spend time away from Stedman for work, Oprah keeps an iPad filled with things he says to her for motivation.
  31. And her pet name for him is "Honey Graham."
  32. If it weren't for Orange is the New Black, Samira Wiley and Lauren Morelli may never have got together.
  33. When Samira found out that Lauren was married, it was "like a little dagger in my heart," but she vowed to keep their relationship platonic out of a desire to "do the right thing."
  34. After telling her husband how she felt, Lauren spent a year trying to mend her marriage and going through couples' therapy. She had few other gay female friends, and so confided in Samira, and in doing so, fell in love.
  35. Once her marriage had officially ended, Lauren invited Samira to her new home. There, she gave her a ring which Samira now wears around her neck, and a card that said: "Will you be my girlfriend?" Three years later, they tied the knot.
  36. Goldie Hawn and Kurt Russell may have been together for 35 years, but they've never felt the need to walk down the aisle. Instead, Goldie says a successful, lasting relationship isn't about marriage but "compatibility and communication. You both need to want it to work."
  37. Kristen Bell and Dax Shepard make no secret of the fact that marriage is hard work — but she likens the emotional labour to building a toolbox.
  38. But that's not to say they're not fans of the odd romantic gesture.
  39. John Krasinski was such a huge fan of Emily Blunt before they'd even met, that he'd watched The Devil Wears Prada over 75 times.
  40. And the feeling clearly came to be mutual when they did meet. According to Emily, she fell in love with "disarmingly fast" the moment she first saw him in a restaurant. Within 10 months they were engaged.
  41. Emily has credited much of her success to John's fervent belief in and support of her, which makes her feel "invincible."
  42. And, finally, John recently revealed that the "best days" of his life only started when he met Emily.
Link to article
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2018.03.12 20:31 ItsBriceIdk My Personal Recommendations after Listening to 666 Hours of Podcasts!

I've been preparing this post for a while and I hope it can help some people find some new podcasts that they never knew existed!
I've organized my recommendations into 5 categories, Completely Finished Shows (includes shows that I've listened to completely, and that have ended (if a show is labelled with a "(?)" than it means I'm not sure if it's ended). The second category is Caught Up with, this includes shows that I've listened to all the episodes for, and are still putting out new material! Third category is "Rarely Listen to, this includes shows that I sometimes listened to, Often this means that I've burn't out on them, or I have to be in a particular mood to listen to them. Fourth category is *Recently Started Listening to, and I think that's pretty self-explanatory. And the last category is Plan to Listen to, these are most likely shows that caught my eye, but I haven't yet taken the time to check out. And at the end of the post I will also highlight my favourite shows!
Please forgive me if I screw up on grammar or spelling, as I didn't have time to proof read. Also bare with me as I try to figure out how to format. And please up-vote this, so others can see this :)
 **1) COMPLETELY FINISHED : [(?) = might have ended]** 
A Life Well Wasted (?): This podcast is amazing and I wish it comes back to life one day. This podcast discusses the video game industry as well as why we play video games.
-fav episode: B-Side: Why Game: listeners tell stories about why they play video games
A Piece of Work: Made by WNYC Studios and the Museum of Modern Art, focuses on different types of art and how we perceive them. Everything from Andy Warhol, to Naked dancers rolling around while rubbing raw chicken on themselves is discussed.
-fav episode: Andy Warhol’s Art of Self Promotion
Cosby Unraveled (?): 8 episode series that goes through the Bill Cosby Trial and details of his sexual assault allegations.
Do Listen Twice: Made by the creators of This American Life to celebrate the release of their movie “Don’t Think Twice”. Most episodes are comedic and all but 2 episodes are shorter than 12 minutes.
-fav episode: 02 - D-U-Why?!
DTR: The Official Tinder Podcast (?): Made by Tinder, talks about dating in the modern age, and for the second season the hosts control their guests tinder accounts and set up dates that are sometimes quite awkward and funny.
-fav episode: Right Swipes Big City (Part 1)
The Grift (?) : Really hopes this podcast isn’t over! The Grift is a short series “about con artists and the lives they ruin.”
Fav episode: The Religion of the Black Dog: about a small cult, survivors tell their stories that contain stories of abuse and manipulation.
Heavyweight (?): I don’t remember much about this show but i think it was meh. The host basically brings people together that once had a connection but were then separated. Guests mainly include distanced family members if i remember correctly.
-fav episode: Dina: the host has a conversation with his mother which causes him to question his past.
How Do You Sleep at Night (?): Super short podcast “about people who live their lives in the face of judgement”. Guests include murderers, big game hunters, stock market manipulators and tobacco lobbyists
-fav episode: 05 Abortion Clinic Protesters
Lorde: Behind the Melodrama: Track by Track podcast that discusses the inspiration and creation of Lorde’s latest album , Melodrama.
Love Me (?) : Listened to this one a long time ago. It’s mostly about relationships, and each episode is a reflection/story that is around 20 minutes in length.
The Mystery Show: Awesome show by Gimlet media that was cancelled! The host solves mysteries in a quirky and easy to follow way. All the episodes are fantastic!
-fav episode: Vanity Plate: covers a license plate with “9/11”, the reason why the driver has this plate will leave you in shock! (You’re welcome for the clickbait ;)
[Polygon Backstory][Polygon Cutscene][Polygon Newsworthy] (?): I’m not really sure if Polygon is just in a hiatus for some shows or what’s up, but these 3 podcasts are good and short, but haven’t had new episodes in quite a while. They all discuss the video game industry.
Quiet: The Power of Introverts: 9 episode series with stories from introverts about dealing with a loud and outspoken society that prefers extroverts.
-fav episode: Episode 3: How One School Learned to Hear Quiet Kids
Roofless Podcast: definitely a favourite show! The audio quality could be better but it's so worth listening to if you have any interest in learning about the homeless population and what it’s like to be without a home. Not as depressing as I thought it would be, most of the people are surprisingly optimistic that they will be able to become a functional member of society in the future. Not sure why this show ended, but it’s just so good!
The Sauce: super short podcast about the McDonald'S szechuan sauce crisis lol and its impact. Takes like 30 minutes to listen to the whole series and I think it’s pretty decent.
Sincerely, X: show by TED that presents some personal stories, as well as struggles that they have faced. One of the first series I ever listened to and I think it was alright, but boring at some points.
-fav episode: Episode 4: Sad in Silicon Valley
TLDR: Show by the guys behind Reply All. If you like Reply All, then definitely give this a listen! Episodes are super short but also super informative. In my opinion, it’s like a reply all minisode series if that makes sense, but it was made before Reply All.
UnDone (?): Show by Gimlet Media that covers what happens after a story is forgotten by the news. Not sure if this show is coming back or not, hasn’t been updated since October -_-
-fav episode: Disco Demolition Night
Venturing Out: Made by Arlene from the show Dragon’s Den. Short interview series about investing, business and marketing.
What The Crime?!: Just found this show, and binged listened to it. Talks about funny crimes and why people commit them. Examples include hiding stuff in female genitalia, seniors robbing banks and criminals with strange names.
-fav episode: When Suspects Turn Themselves in On Facebook
Why We Eat What We Eat (?): Show by Gimlet Creative and Blue Apron about food and why we eat certain foods. Listened to this a while ago, and it was decent, I honestly only listened because Gimlet made it to be honest.
MISSING: Super well done and well produced show. At times it gets a little repetitive, but it’s a great show if you’re into true crime, personal dilemmas that lead to people going missing and psychology.
-fav episodes: On the Run Pt 1 and 2, the hosts everything he’s learned to the test and tries going missing without leaving a trace.
 **2) CAUGHT UP WITH:** 
A Very Fatal Murder: Parody true-crime podcast by Onion Public Radio. Does anyone know if there’s going to be a season two btw?
The Anthropocene Review: Host reviews certain things on earth and rates them on a scale of 1-10. Only 2 episodes out so far.
The Basement Yard: YouTube Personality Joe Santagato sits down with his friends, and they discuss drinking, entertainment, nsfw material, the death of vine and working out. Joe is super funny and he gets so angry sometimes. I restricted myself to only listening to this one when I’m alone, just so I don’t awkwardly burst out laughing during class.
-fav episode: What Is Happening To The World?: they discuss the logan paul controversy as well as a school that wants to ban people from becoming best friends so that kids don’t feel left out.
By The Book: Love this show! 2 female hosts discuss and (sometimes) laugh about self-help books. They try living “By The Book” for 2 weeks and report back on their experience. In some ways it’s like a higher quality version of “Oh No Ross and Carrie”.
-fav episode: Class With The Countess
Choiceology with Dan Heath: New podcast that talks about the impact of our choices.
Code Breaker: Tech podcast that goes in depth with specific issues and explains them in an easy to follow way. First season attempts to ask whether or not certain technologies are evil.
-fav episode: Is It Evil? Ep 7: Data Tracking
Conversations with People Who Hate Me: first ever podcast series I listened to. The host calls up people that left negative comments on his videos and they have a raw and sometimes emotional conversation.
-fav episode: Sissies and Flaming Queens: he calls someone that called him a “flaming homo” and “sissy” and they talk about why he left that comment.
Darknet Diaries: Found this one on this subreddit and it’s a great listen. Super similar to Reply All, except this podcast doesn’t go off topic. New episode popped up in my feed a while ago and I was super excited to listen to it! It “explores true stories from the dark side of the internet” and is a must-listen in my opinion.
-fav episode: Ep 6: The Beirut Bank Job
Depression Stream: Pretty relatable and super short podcast. Not sure how to explain it, so if you’re interested, than just listen to an episode (typical episodes are around 1 minute long).
Do You Know Who Jason Segel Is?: Favourite podcast that it ever listened to. It’s pure comedy and it’s brilliant. Two comedians call up random businesses and ask if they know who Jason Segel is. If you’re interested, than start at episode 1, as there are quite a few ongoing and inside jokes and it might be hard to follow if you just jump in at the latest episode.
Don’t Get Mad: Host talks about 1-2 news stories that didn’t get the exposure that they deserved. Pretty sure the host is on this subreddit, but I could be wrong.
-fav episodes = Starbucks Cups & The Ranch: covers the controversy over the Christmas Starbucks cup and how dumb it is. Also talks about sexual assault allegations and how people sometimes forget that they are innocent until proven guilty.
Down the Reddit Hole: Comes out only once a month but it’s pretty good. The 2 hosts discuss popular things on reddit, and each episode is based around a central theme. Some themes include Memes, Religion and Cults, Russians and Gamers.
Ear Hustle: goes into detail about life in a maximum security prison and certain aspects of life as a prisoner. Each episode is super well done and a new season is coming out this month.
-fav episode: Bonus: Songs from S1
Endless Thread: pretty good show that also discusses Reddit. At one point I just searched up “Reddit” on Pocket Casts and a bunch of these shows came up, so yeah that's why i have listened to like 5 reddit shows. Show only has a few episodes out, but most of them are good.
-fav episode: Getting Home
Every Little Thing: from Gimlet Media, short-ish episodes that usually answer fan submitted questions about stuff that people don’t usually think about.
-fav episode: How Old is Winnie the Pooh?
Fortune Favors the Bold: By Gimlet Creative and Microsoft, talks about working in this technology driven age, as well as the gig economy.
Hackable?: Really well produced show. Each episode focuses on a certain aspect of technology and whether or not it is Hackable. Favourites include “Camera Creepers”, “Keyless Entry”, and “Locked Out”!
Hannahlyze This: from YouTuber Hannah Hart and her pal, whom is also named Hannah. Only a few episodes out, they discuss dating, mental health and isolation tanks.
The History of Fun: From polygon! Each episode focuses on a piece of history that relates to technology/entertainment. It explains how each episode was created, marketed and how it was perceived. Some of my fav’s include “Street Fighter (The Movie)”, “Duke Nukem Forever: A Brief History” and “Dodgeball”.
InBox: another favourite! 2 hosts take over their guests online accounts and “mine them for comedy gold”. Each episode also includes the hosts writing an awkward or embarrassing email, which the guests would have to send if they answer a trivia question incorrectly
-fav episode: ALL CAPS with Caroline Cotter
Intriguing Conversations: From the guy behind “Whatever Happened to Pizza at McDonalds”. Only one super short episode out and I’m not sure how to explain it. Basically, a comedian calls people.
Lex: The Craigslist Whisperer: The host recounts their experiences using Craigslists and how sometimes it just gets awkward.
Making Oprah: Talks about Oprah’s rise to fame and her impact. Second season focuses on Obama.
Nancy: Show about LGBT culture. Really well produced and pretty funny at points.
Other People’s Lives: Hosted by Joe Santagato, host of “The Basement Yard”, and his friend. They have conversations with people that often have weird fetishes, or shocking stories. This show is absolutely incredible in that each episode you immediately assume that these people are just insane, but by the end of the show, I’m always able to understand why we they what they did.
-fav episodes: “I Act Like a 4 Year Old With My Partner”, “I Grew Up in A Cult”, “I’m A Cam Girl & Sugar Baby”, “The Earth is Flat”, basically all of them are amazing!
Personal Best: Show from CBC Radio, about personal accomplishments and advice. Only a couple shows out, but each one includes an inspiring story, that sometimes includes a comedic twist.
-fav episode: Nine Fiver
The Pitch: By Gimlet Media, like an audio version of Dragons Den. Show covers 4 investors receiving a pitch from a startup and deciding whether or not they would like to invest. Definitely listen to this if you like Dragons Den, Business or Marketing.
Pizza Podcast: Host delivers pizza and talks about pizza delivery, fly fishing and animals. Host is really nice, and I also designed the art (which for some reason shows up on ITunes, but not Pocket Casts lol. I love how the host is not afraid to rant and get angry and just tell us how he really feels.
Probably True Podcast: Short comedy podcast. Episode subjects include Death, Dating, and other NSFW material.
-fav episode: Death
Red Lips, Orange Car: Show talks about the missed connections part of Craigslist. Basically, it’s about people that are trying to find people. Super funny listen - but sometimes they get a little off topic.
Reply All: I don’t even know what to say about this show! It’s the first show I ever binged listened to and it’s amazing.
-fav episode: “112: The Prophet”, “105: At World’s End”, also episode 102 and 103 cover Indian Tech Scams and it’s incredible. If you liked those scam episodes, I would also suggest watching “Kitboga” on Twitch.TV, as he scambaits those peoples and prank calls them.
Retropod: Short daily show that contains a story from history. Not sure how to explain this one.
The Science of Happiness: In each episode, a person serves as a “Happiness Guinea Pig” as they test different ways to better yourself.
StartUp Podcast: First season is about Gimlet Media starting up and becoming a more recognized podcast network. Other seasons are about business mistakes, other startups, the rise and fall of American Apparel and “StartUpBus” - where people come up with business ideas on a bus trip to a conference.
-fav episode: “Gaming The System (Season 3, Episode 2)”: about the rise of a a gaming live-streaming site,
Subnet: New daily show from Relay FM. Each episode covers the 3 biggest tech stories of the day in only 2 minutes.
Swipe Left Swipe Left: Show about relationships, dating, and sometimes awkward situations.
-fav episode: “The Trilogy of Ella” and its follow-up “Ella’s Reply”
Tape Club: New podcast suggestions. Not sure if it’s over or not, hasn’t been a new episode for a little over a month.
This is Love: New show about “stories of sacrifice, obsession and the ways in which we bet everything on one another”. Took a couple tries for me to get interested in episode 1, but eventually I discovered that it was pretty well done.
-fav episode: "Episode 4: Eight Thousand Miles"
Today, Explained: You’ve probably heard about this one. Covers the biggest stories in the news in a detailed and easy to understand way.
-fav episode: “The Deep Fake”
Trump, Inc.: Sometimes i question why I even care about this odd man, but ya know it’s just funny how stupid he is and how dumb it is that he was elected. I’m Canadian, so I guess this is like a little reality show, if you know what I mean. Anyways, this covers the business side of Trump’s Presidency.
Weird Work: Really good podcast about strange occupations.
-fav episodes: “I make ASMR videos”, “I’m the New York Times crossword puzzle editor”, “I make props for Hollywood”
Whatever Happened to Pizza at McDonalds? Just funny. Listen to episode 1, definitely don’t start on a random episode or you will be beyond confused! I think if I try to explain it, than it might be hard to understand, so just try it out.
Why’d You Push That Button?: Another technology show, this one usually focuses more on dating in the modern age and how we use social media. Their most recent episode is a love episode, and I’m not really into those, so I just skipped it ;)
-fav episode: Why do you like celebrity photos on Instagram?
Everything Instagram: A social media guru talks about Instagram news and updates, as well as techniques for advertising on Instagram and the ‘Instagram v. Snapchat battle’.
Self Made Hundredaires: One of those buddy hangout and chill shows. They discuss personal stories and all that stuff. If you’re into people just hanging out, than try this one out.
You’re Doing It Wrong: Episodes are about one specific topic and how we”re doing it wrong. Focus on lifestyle stuff (parenting, being healthy…).
 **3)RARELY LISTEN TO** 
Anna Faris is Unqualified: Hosted by comedian and actress Anna Faris. Sometimes the interviews get a bit sexual, but it’s a great listen if you need a laugh or want to learn more about the guests. They also take viewers calls and give them advice, so that’s cool.
-fav episode: ep 05: Aubrey Plaza
Armchair Expert by Dax Shepard: Usually listen to this one to fall asleep. Only a few episodes out, but I like how Dax gets personal with the guests.
Chris Gethard’s Beautiful Anonymous: At one point I was binging this. But for some reason I just don’t fit in funny or interesting anymore, I think maybe I’m annoyed by the host and how he’s always interrupting the guests. Premise is that an anonymous caller gets 60 mins of his time, and Chris can’t hang up.
Business Wars: The first season was well done, and focused on Netflix vs Blockbuster (vs HBO). The new season that just started is based on Nike vs Adidas.
Buzzfeed’s Internet Explorer: Love this show! Super similar to Reply All and Exploit, but I like the hosts chemistry a bit better on this one. They basically talk about parts of the internet.
-fav episode: “A Very Serious Conversation About Minions”, “Who the Hell is Jacob Sartorius?”
Cool Games Inc: Hosts take in viewers ideas for a video game, and comedically expand on their ideas to create a full idea for a game.
Death, Sex & Money: stories about things that we don’t usually talk about. I’ve only listened to a couple of episodes but they were pretty decent. Planning on listening more to this one eventually. But for now there are better shows to spend my time on :)
-fav episode: “Finding Love, And A Kidney, On Tinder”
Game Industry Career Guide: If you’re at all interested in working in the games industry than this is a great listen. Each episode is short, and the host answers 1 listeners question.
Happier with Gretchen Rubin: It’s a great show that I plan to listen to more later. I mainly only listen to the “little” episodes as they are 2-ish minutes and cover 1 tip to better your life.
Hidden Brain: If you’re into science/psychology than listen to this one for sure.
-fav episode: ‘Episode 4: Students and Teachers”
The Hilarious World of Depression: With this show, I binged a bunch of episodes and then kind of burnt out and don’t really feel like listening to it anymore. It’s an interview show with famous people who have depression. If you’re triggered by people talking about depression, or you don’t think you want to hear about stuff like this than skip this one. Personally, I like the show - it’s just that I listened to too much of it and burnt out.
Invasion of Privacy: Starring Joe Santagato, host of ‘Other People’s Lives’ and ‘The Basement Yard’, accompanied by female comedian Kate Wolff.
Sidenote: this show is NSFW so just be warned lol
Oh No Ross and Carrie: I’ve listened to a few episodes of this show and it’s great. 2 hosts test out different religious and spiritual practices and report back on their findings.
One Trick Pony: A Bojack Horseman Podcast: A couple buddies review each episode of the Netflix show ‘Bojack Horseman’ in detail.
RuPaul: What’s The Tee: If you like RuPaul, fashion, drag culture, than listen to this. It’s also pretty funny at times.
Sickboy: Each episode focuses on a person with a disease, or disorder, or impairment and goes over what life is like for them. When I first found this, I listened to 15 episodes in a row, but now, I’m beyond burnt out...
Sleep With Me: If you have insomnia, or any troubles falling asleep than try this podcast. I used to use it everynight, but I felt that the host is now going too fast and is focused too much on the ads.
WTF: with Marc Maron: Marc Maron is a genius. He’s angry, straight-forward and just genuinely funny. All of the interviews are personal and extremely in-depth. And I know some people skip over the intro’s, but I love when he’s telling personal stories and going through fan emails.
 **4) RECENTLY STARTED LISTENING TO** 
Alice Isn’t Dead, Change Agent, Exploit, The Indicator: from Planet Money, The Outline World Dispatch, Welcome to Nightvale
 **5) Plan to Listen to** 
Actual Innocence, Conspiracy Theories, Criminal, Cults, The Daily 202’s Big Idea, Decrypted, Dressed: the History of Fashion, Embedded, Found, Hector vs The Future, Invisibilia, It Makes A Sound, Launch , Lexicon Valley, Majority 54, On Drugs, Planet Money, Radiolab, Radiolab Presents: More Perfect, Safe Space, Sayer, Serial, Snap Judgement, Surf Memphis, Surprisingly Awesome, Ted Talks Daily, This American Life, The Truth, Unexplained, What Were You Thinking, What’s In A Podcast, Wolf 359, Wooden Overcoats, WorkLife with Adam Grant, Within the Wires, Arranged Marriage for the Modern Indian Man, The Odd Ones Podcast, TDMR, The Student Side Hustle, Inside the Junos, 2050: Degrees of Change, Other People’s Problems, Young, Dumb & 21, Bunny Ears, Time Well Wasted with Jay and Derek, The Big Loop, Lesser Gods, Limetown, Tangentially Speaking with Christopher Ryan, Positions Vacant , Dear Franklin Jones, This Won’t Hurt a Bit, Everyday Bravery, The Growth Show, Shane And Friends, Psychobabble with Tyler Oakley and Korey Kuhl, Not Too Deep: With Grace Helbig, Love + Radio, Straight Talk with Ross Matthews, Twenty Thousand Hertz, Welcome to Macintosh, Modern Love, Science Vs., Song Exploder, This is Actually Happening, Upvoted by Reddit, Side Hustle School
BONUS Category: My Favourites (all are already listed, but I wanted to seperate them aswell!)
The Grift, The Mystery Show, Roofless Podcast, The Basement Yard, By The Book, Darknet Diaries, Do You Know Who Jason Segel Is?, Ear Hustle, InBox, Other People's Lives, Pizza Podcast, Reply All, Whatever Happened to Pizza at McDonalds?, Exploit, Welcome to Nightvale
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2018.01.14 00:07 startingover_nova BINGO! HUGE! Tick Tock KABOOM! Tied Obama to Hawaiian Estate Where Michael Egan Was Sent to Allegedly Be Raped! pizzagate

The following is the body text of a recent post in /v/pizzagate, sans comments. A direct link is not possible because there is personal information in the comments, which is against Reddit rules.
---snip---
Relevancy: This is part of the DEN Entertainment story. Michael Egan was the child at the center of the scandal. He alleged he was [quote] given alcohol, cocaine and other drugs and was raped repeatedly along with other young boys who were present. The abuse allegedly occurred at the house shared by Collins-Rector, [unquote] The scandal charged that: [quote] Pierce and his partners, Chad Shackley and Marc Collins-Rector ran a child abuse ring with a number of other Hollywood directors and A-list actors, many of whom were financially tied to DEN. [uquote] Collins-Rector was convicted. David Geffen was part of the funders of this enterprise. Geffen, as we know, is tied by his tongue up Killary's ass.
No, that title is NOT hyperbole! I used it purposefully because I'm literally falling over off my chair. I ran across an exceedingly well-written story of another player in the DEN scandal. His name is Brock Pierce and I was all set to post it, but decided to do some sniffing around. Did that yesterday, and finally noticed that the alleged rapes of Michael Egan were tied to Hawaii. Hawaii? Remember Pedosta's hot dog stand?
https://wikileaks.org/podesta-emails/emailid/30231
From:[email protected] To: [email protected] Date: 2015-09-03 18:17 Subject: man, I miss you
The next three months are going to be rougher internally than in Beijing. Between 7th and 1600, no fun. Hope you're doing ok. I'm dreaming about your hotdog stand in Hawaii...
Remember when we were all trying to figure out what this meant? Well, Hawaii being mentioned in the Egan case got me curious. I was going to post this morning, but gave dumpster diving one more try and ... BINGO! I'm sure glad I did. I'd love other eyes on this to find out other connections using this lead. Anyway, here's the original story that intrigued me:
https://voat.co/v/pizzagate/1593188 Disobedient Media
Brock Pierce is a controversial figure who has received surprisingly little attention despite connections to the Clinton Foundation, digital currency Bitcoin and involvement in a notorious scandal involving a child abuse ring. Pierce’s involvement with a child abuse ring, Digital Entertainment Network and The Clinton Global initiative were first highlighted in the documentary An Open Secret, Directed by Amy Berg.
As detailed in Berg’s film, Brock was a member of the Clinton Global Initiative, former child actor who appeared in films such as the 1992 classic Mighty Ducks and Disney’s “First Kid,” and Chairman of the Board at the Bitcoin Foundation. Pierce also co-founded the Digital Entertainment Network (DEN), a forerunner of video sharing site Youtube. In 2010, Pierce also was also a participant at the Mindshift Conference, which was hosted by now disgraced billionaire pedophile and child sex trafficker Jeffrey Epstein.
DEN was founded in 1996 amid the rapid growth of the dot-com bubble. It raised $72 million in investment before even opening in 1999, a massive amount of capital considering that, at least on the surface, DEN was not yet providing investors with anything in return. At the time news sources scoffed at the massive salaries top executives were paid when the company was not even creating revenue. ...

The lack of apparent revenue raises questions about what investors in DEN were expecting in return.

That last bit there ... this writer has a way with words. WTH were they expecting in return? $65,000 hot dogs?
And here comes the part about Hawaii ... ever see a dog whose ears stand on end? It's what mine did upon reading this:
As covered in the Amy Berg film An Open Secret, Egan alleged that between the ages of 15 to 17, he would be given alcohol, cocaine and other drugs and was raped repeatedly along with other young boys who were present. The abuse allegedly occurred at the house shared by Collins-Rector, Shackley and Pierce as well as on trips to Hawaii. On at least one occasion, Collins-Rector threatened Egan with a gun to force him into compliance. Egan filed a civil suit after his reports to the LAPD and FBI fell on deaf ears. Individuals named in the suit included Pierce, Collins-Rector, Shackley, as well as Bryan Singer, Garth Ancier, Gary Goddard and David Neuman.
From there, I found another article. This was yesterday ... way too late at night ... but here it is. And I suggest you read this one, too. Really, really excellent:
http://www.vulture.com/2014/09/michael-egan-bryan-singer-lawsuit.html

What Happens When You Accuse a Major Hollywood Director of Rape?

It was one of his classmates there who, in June 1998, first brought him to the M&C estate, named for two of its occupants, Marc Collins-Rector and Chad Shackley.
What happened behind the walls of the M&C estate over the next two years is a matter of intense dispute. If you believe Michael Egan, he was groomed to submit to a life of abuse in what was essentially a pedophilic sex den. ...
Singer. Egan’s lawsuit describes an incident in the estate’s pool when Egan was 17 years old. Collins-Rector allegedly passed Egan to Singer in the hot tub, where Egan “was made to sit on” Singer’s lap; Singer gave him a drink, mentioned finding him a movie role, told him he was sexy, and masturbated and fellated him. When Egan resisted, the complaint reads, Singer forced Egan’s “head underwater to make [Egan] perform oral sex upon him. When [Egan] pulled his head out of the water in order to breathe, [Singer] demanded that he continue, which [Egan] refused. [Singer] then forced [Egan] to continue performing oral sex upon him outside of the pool, and subsequently forcibly sodomized” him.
Egan says Singer’s behavior continued on trips the whole group took together to the Paul Mitchell estate in Hawaii.
The screech of the brakes sounded in my head when I read the name of the estate. Paul Mitchell? The homeless guy that was touted to have built a financial empire? Yeah, I'm going to do a big long dumpster dive about that fucking guy, but at the time I was stunned. I'm like: WTH? I did property searches to see what the place was like and then did a faceplant that landed me in bed. This morning, I had no time to follow up, but I had a few minutes and tried one more time to follow up on this estate. Note that in the previous article, it's said of the M&C estate that:
The estate, meanwhile, became famous for its parties, which were stocked with attractive young men. “I’ve spent some time at the Playboy mansion,” one person connected to DEN said later to the New York Post. “This place makes it look like a trailer.”
Since this is the same group in Hawaii, we can assume the same type of lurid atmosphere prevailed ... most especially the non-wearing of clothing rule. It's with this mental picture of debauched filthy old men molesting little boys that I conducted this one last search:
http://www.imdb.com/news/ni61844872/

See Barack Obama Get Serenaded by Carolers in Hawaii: 'We Sounded Terrible ... But He Made Our Christmas'

Barack Obama just celebrated his first Christmas since leaving office — but a women’s resistance group gave him a reception fit for a president during his annual holiday visit to Hawaii.
When Windward ReSisters, a women’s movement based in Obama’s native Hawaii, heard he was returning to the islands with his family for the holidays, they decided to welcome the former president by singing Christmas carols outside the Paul Mitchell estate in lanikai, where the Obamas were staying.
“We got our group together on Saturday and went with our pussy hats and Santa hats and proceeded to Christmas
What was the line in Casablanca?
Of all the gin joints in all the towns in all the world, she walks into mine.
It's how I feel about this. What are the chances that The Kenyan starts his end of presidency on Geffen's yacht with Oprah, Sprinsteen, Tom Hanks and others:
http://www.breitbart.com/big-hollywood/2017/04/17/barack-michelle-obama-join-oprah-springsteen-hanks-on-david-geffens-yacht/
Then it's off to THE MARLON BRANDO RESORT so he can concentrate on writing that book:
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2017/03/16/barack-obama-flies-island-french-polynesia-relax-luxury-resort/
Barack Obama flies to island in French Polynesia to relax at luxury resort 'The Brando'
In case you don't know, Marlon Brando was a pedophile. I devoted an entire thread to detailing the monster's grasp.
https://voat.co/v/pizzagate/2278149
As we've learned, there are no such things as coincidences. The Kenyan seems to be in the circle of those either convicted of pedophile, suspected of pedophile, or that hang out with pedophiles. I mean ... what? This is why we need eyes on this. We've combed who visited Epstein's island, but who visited the Paul Mitchell estate? That will be a huge clue as to who is in this circle.
And I have to end this by pointing out that a classmate of Egan's introduced him to Rector's estate. It proves they do have peer handlers to recruit friends. That was my contention with Feldman. Feldman is a handler. Just look at the difference in how Egan handled this situation and how Feldman didn't handle anything except keep Haim's mouth shut. Egan gave details ... he named powerful men. Feldman? Gave nothing burgers. I'd also like to stick one last bit in and give a shout out to the douche Mueller for doing jack shit!
https://voat.co/v/pizzagate/2217524
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